


This is Probably a Mistake, But...

by defying3reason



Category: The Flash (Comics)
Genre: Bi-Erasure, Blackest Night, Canonical Character Death, Countdown to Final Crisis, F/M, Infinite Crisis (DCU), Internalized Homophobia, M/M, pre-boot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-22
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2017-12-09 06:10:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 48,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/770894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/defying3reason/pseuds/defying3reason
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the wake of his wife's death, Barry's been plunged into the type of self-reflection he's been putting off for years, including willfully repressed musings on his sexuality. Then, just as he's finally getting ready to explore, he discovers that one of his Rogues is gay...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy all. This is a WIP I'm cross-posting from ff.net, so if you've seen it there don't get too excited on me. There's no new material yet. I'm cross-posting it here in the hopes of finding some inspiration to get back to work on it and finish it up (as anyone following my work here might notice, I've gotten a wee bit distracted by Les Mis fandom). 
> 
> I've taken a little flack in DC fandom in the past for my characterization of Barry. As such, I've become reluctant to even use him. However, I've gotten good feedback on this story and I generally think I've done a good job with him as my protagonist. My characterization of Barry is based primarily on the Silver Age. This is a pre-boot fic, so New 52 Barry is only considered lightly. I'm considering this an AU, and Barry will be a dynamic character that will grow and change throughout the story as he experiences epiphanies. This is an odd spin on him, even for my head-canon, and this fic is very much self-contained as a result. None of my other fics fit in with this at all. If it's not your cup of tea, that's fine, but please be respectful in your disagreement.
> 
> Now that that's out of the way, I hope you enjoy the story, and please let me know what you think with a comment :)

Barry wasn't exactly surprised when he didn't see Hal anywhere in the interior of the gay club they'd agreed to meet at, but he was disappointed. It wasn't in his friend's nature to chicken out (what with being technically fearless and all), so he must have decided that ultimately he wasn't interested in exploring that part of himself.

With a disappointed sigh, Barry sat down at the bar to wait, just in case he was wrong. Hal could be out of sight somewhere, like in the bathroom, or he could be running late due to a costumed emergency. He'd give the man twenty minutes or so before leaving.

Dammit. Barry felt a little silly, being as disappointed as he was, but it was hard to shake. He'd really wanted to do this with his friend by his side (okay, really he'd wanted to do the exploring _with_ his friend, but Hal had gently explained that though he'd had the occasional thought about other men, he definitely wasn't into Barry that way) rather than alone. Barry wasn't exactly comfortable in situations like these even when they were, well… _normal_ , which was why he'd started thinking that maybe he wasn't entirely straight.

For the most part the men around him didn't seem to be bothered by the atmosphere. Most of them were his age or a tad younger, and they were all enjoying themselves, calling out to each other, or making obscene gyrations that probably counted as dancing. There were a few other awkward looking wallflowers scattered around the room. Maybe he didn't look completely out of place.

He must have looked exceptionally awkward though. Even the bartender was avoiding him for the sake of chatting up a group of customers that must have looked like better tippers.

Barry glanced at his watch, wondering how much of his twenty minutes had passed, when suddenly a man dropped onto the stool next to him. Barry glanced up, and just managed to keep the shock off his face when he recognized one of his Rogues.

Unless he was very much mistaken, that was the Pied Piper straddling that stool, an easy looking smile on his face contrasting sharply with the mocking one Barry was used to seeing in battle. He'd never seen this particular Rogue in any kind of social situation before (unless you counted Rogues Conventions, which Barry didn't). He looked like a completely different person.

He also looked really young. Barry thought back through the files the station had on his Rogues, and he remembered that the Piper was only twenty two. There was something ageless about costumes, but tight jeans, a thin t-shirt with a low collar, and scuffed up army boots were something else entirely.

"Hey there," Piper greeted, clearly with no idea who Barry really was.

Barry nodded curtly and turned back towards the bar.

"Is this your first time in here? I haven't seen you around before," Piper tried again.

Barry darted his eyes towards the man, gave a brief nod, then turned and looked away, hoping he'd take the hint and leave him alone. He couldn't imagine a more uncomfortable scenario for this outing: not only had Hal failed to show and abandoned him, but now one of the supervillains he battled with on a regular basis was trying to hit on him. Just…spectacular.

He hadn't even known the Pied Piper was gay.

Clearly he was though, because he seemed perfectly comfortable and at ease with himself. Barry was a little jealous. If he'd given in to these thoughts when he'd been in his early twenties, he probably wouldn't be trying to avoid eye contact with a supervillain right then.

Piper didn't seem at all thrown by Barry's rudeness. He simply waved over the bartender and ordered a rum and coke. "Are you getting anything?" Piper asked.

"Um, just a beer please," Barry said, careful to speak solely to the bartender.

"You don't need to look so worried, sunshine," Piper said, easy smile still in place and laughter in his eyes. "No one's going to jump you or anything. Y'know, unless you volunteer for it. But if you keep your body language like that then no one's going to talk to you."

"Maybe that's what I want."

"Then you wouldn't be here."

"I…was supposed to meet someone," Barry admitted.

"Ah. So you're still in the closet then?" Piper asked, as though the subject was perfectly normal for friendly chit chat with a stranger.

Barry frowned, still staring down at the bar. "I'm not even sure if I'm…y'know…"

"Gay?" Piper finished. Barry nodded. "Well, if you figure out you are, it's not the end of the world. Actually, once you get over whatever's holding you back it's pretty fantastic. But I'm guessing that if you were willing to come here in the first place you probably do need to do some exploring. Seems like you'd avoid the place at all cost otherwise."

"No kidding," Barry said bitterly. He was definitely regretting his decision.

Piper laughed. "Oh come on, it's not so bad. Or, it won't be if you loosen up a little. You can just hang out and talk to a few guys. Making eye contact with someone won't make them think you want to sleep together. That was a hint, you know."

Reluctantly, Barry turned to look at his unwanted companion. Piper was still smiling at him. Barry briefly met his eyes, then looked past him at some of the bar's other patrons.

"That wasn't so hard."

Barry decided to try a more direct tactic. "You look familiar. Aren't you a supervillain or something?"

To his surprise, Piper nodded. "Yep. I'm out legitimately though, so you don't need to worry. I'm on parole and everything. You know you look a little familiar too…"

Barry's heart sank and he regretted pushing the topic forward. This would be one hell of a way for his Rogues to figure out his secret identity.

Then Piper narrowed his eyes at Barry and frowned. "You're a cop, aren't you? No wonder you look so uncomfortable."

Relief washing over him that Piper hadn't recognized his other identity, Barry chuckled under his breath. "Kind of. I'm a forensic scientist for the police. I think we may have run into each other a few times at the station."

"Ah." Piper frowned again. "Well I'll leave you alone if you really want me to, but I thought where you looked so jumpy and all that it might be nice to chat for a few minutes." The bartender finally brought over their drinks and Barry gratefully took a sip of his beer, glad for the stall.

Again, he decided to just blurt out his question. "So you weren't trying to hit on me?"

Piper shrugged. "I might have if you seemed receptive. Listen Mr. Police Scientist, in addition to my more notorious public activities, I'm an LGBT counselor and an activist. You're kind of screaming self-hatred and I thought I might be able to help. The offer's still out there if you do want to talk, but…well, cops don't tend to like me very much."

"I didn't think supervillains would want to talk to cops either," Barry pointed out. He wondered if that line about the counseling and the activism was true.

Piper took a sip of his own drink before answering. "I don't have any problems with cops. You people are just doing your jobs and trying to help people in your own way. I try to help people from outside the system."

"By robbing banks?" Barry asked sarcastically.

"By redistributing wealth. You've got to admit, it's not exactly fairly distributed right now. Case in point, my parents are absolutely loaded. Like, personal servants, own five houses, private jet style loaded. But to keep their company solvent, they had to cut all bonuses and benefits and freeze wages for employees below a certain income bracket. If it were me, I'd just sell the jet and let all their employees earn a living wage. They never use the damn thing anyway."

"But how does robbing someone else's bank help your parents' employees?" Barry pressed, intrigued. It had never occurred to him that one of his villains might think they were in the right. Clearly Piper did, and he was surprisingly intelligent about it. Still wrong, but he'd clearly put some thought into his misguided conclusions.

"I'm just trying to buck the system. Make some noise, scare the rich a little. Plus I play Robin Hood with as much of my ill-gotten gains as I can afford. I want to help people, but lately I'm not quite sure I've picked the right methods."

The two men sat in silence for a few minutes, both lost in thought. Barry contemplated his companion, and was forced to admit that the Pied Piper wasn't quite the man he'd made him out to be (he'd still look into his claims of altruistic service the first chance he got though).

Finally, Piper finished his drink and set it down on the bar. "Well, it's been a pleasure talking to you…"

"Barry." Giving his first name seemed harmless enough.

Piper flashed that easy smile again and made a slight nod. "Piper."

"Don't you have a real name?" Something ridiculous that started with H, if he remembered correctly.

Piper scrunched up his nose in distaste (it was pretty cute, actually). "Hartley Robert Rathaway. I _prefer_ Piper."

Barry couldn't say he blamed him.

"Anyway, I'm going to go mingle. If you want to talk again, just let me know."

Barry nodded, sure he wouldn't be taking the amiable criminal up on the offer, and watched him walk across the bar. He decided to stay long enough to finish his beer, but he took his time sipping it, casually people watching as he did so.

Eventually his eyes found Piper again. The young man was chatting with a group about his own age. He looked perfectly at ease (though why wouldn't he be? If things got out of hand, he could always hypnotize the strange men into leaving him alone). As Barry watched, one of the strangers put his hand on Piper's hip and led him away to dance.

"He's pretty cute, huh?"

Barry jumped. He hadn't even heard the bartender head towards him (apparently there were no better tip prospects present). Reluctantly, Barry nodded. If he was going to be honest, he'd have to give it to the man. Piper was good looking, and when he wasn't using his supervillain persona he was easy going and talkative in a way that definitely applied to the word "cute".

"He's a good kid too," the bartender continued. "Comes in here a lot and finds the quiet guys like you. Gets 'em to loosen up, enjoy themselves a little, and find help when they need it. He's a real good guy, Piper. He's the kinda guy that talks someone off the edge of a building, y'know?"

"No, I didn't know that about him," Barry answered distantly, eyes still focused on Piper. He reached for his wallet and took out a few bills. "Here, that's for Piper's drink too."

"I'll let him know."

Barry finished the last sip of his beer and left.

* * *

When Barry got back to his apartment he found the light on his answering machine blinking. He had a message from Hal, claiming some business came up (so it _was_ superhero-related) and he was sorry he missed out on their plans. He didn't try to make new ones though, and Barry decided not to force it.

He was pretty sure he was never going back to that club again.

"God, of all the people to talk to me…" Barry groaned as he sat down on his bed.

Well, it probably could have been worse. It could have been Gorilla Grodd, for one. Barry had a large and varied Rogues gallery, after all. Of all the supervillains that could be gay and interested in him as a civilian, he supposed the Pied Piper wasn't actually the worst of the lot.

Barry shuddered as a thought occurred to him. Piper was a hypnotist, and he had hypnotized the Flash into robbing places for him and then forgetting about it afterwards. What if he'd done something perverted and then made Barry forget about it…?

He dismissed the thought almost as soon as it came, though he still had a sinking sensation in his stomach. It didn't seem like the type of thing Piper would do.

Barry kept telling himself that, over and over and over again. It was the only way he was going to get any sleep.

* * *

 

He couldn't explain why, but Barry went back to the bar the next week. Maybe it was just one too many nights sitting in his lonely apartment wishing his wife hadn't died. Maybe it was the fact that Piper had smiled so prettily at him while listening to what he had to say. Whatever the reason, he wanted to be out amongt people and, more specifically, he was hoping the paroled supercriminal would be at the bar again.

He took a look around when he walked in but didn't see anyone he recognized. As with last week, he decided to give it twenty minutes or so, went to the bar, and ordered a beer.

Five minutes later Piper plopped onto the stool next to him. This time he was wearing slacks, a t-shirt, and a fedora. It was an odd look (half blues musician half art student), but it suited him. "Hey Sunshine. Back for more?" He waved at the bartender, and the man brought him his drink.

"I decided to give the place another chance. I wasn't…particularly open last week."

Piper grinned. "No shit. I have to admit, I'm a little surprised to see you. Thanks for picking up my tab last week. That was sweet of you."

Barry shrugged a little awkwardly. "It was just one drink."

"It was still sweet. I'm usually the one who has to buy the drinks." He traced his finger around the rim of his glass, a thoughtful look on his face.

"I've never tried same sex dating or anything, but I'd just assumed you'd take turns." He hadn't given it much thought, but that seemed fair. Barry had to admit he was a little puzzled how people went about these things without the comforting familiarity of gender roles (although from the looks of it, some of the men around them probably played the part of the lady; some of the guys looked normal though, and Barry wasn't sure what the norms would be for them).

"Maybe that's how the healthy couples do it," Piper said, with mock cheerfulness. He rolled his eyes. "I've no experience there."

"You've never been in a healthy relationship?" Barry asked, then frowned. "Sorry. That's a bit personal, isn't it?"

"Oh, I volunteered a segue into my tale of woe. I'm…still a bit bitter about how my first real relationship ended. And it was over a year ago. Pathetic, huh?"

"Not if it was serious," Barry said, thinking of Iris. He was never going to get over that blow, and the shock of it might have had something to do with why he was sitting where he was sitting. "What happened?"

"The selfish fucker's serving ten to twenty for armed robbery and assault."

"Oh." Somehow that hadn't quite been what he'd expected.

Piper took off his fedora and pushed back his bangs, revealing a small scar along his hairline. "This isn't part of what got him in jail, but it's a nice little memento from the night before his heist. He insisted on robbing a place by himself. He wanted to prove that he was as tough as me, even though he didn't get into the Rogues proper. I told him not to be stupid, and that he should let me watch his back like always. I guess I pushed a button or something because he hit me. Knocked my head right into the kitchen cabinets. So I let him go and the next day he pulled his job and got taken in by the Flash almost immediately. Asshole still hasn't sprung himself from Iron Heights, and I've no intention of helping him."

Barry tried to figure out who Piper could have been talking about, but he was at an absolute loss. He'd taken in too many upstart supercriminals over the years to know which one might have been Piper's ex-boyfriend. One thing about the anecdote stuck out for him though. "He couldn't have cared about you much if he hit you."

"He had a temper problem. I knew it when we started dating." Piper smiled a little self-deprecatingly. "As I already implied, I don't date well. Earl's screwed up…but in his own way he loved me."

Barry shook his head. "If he loved you he wouldn't have hit you. Especially not when you were trying to look out for him." By offering to watch his back against Barry, which was just weird for him to consider.

"You sound like you know how to treat a guy," Piper said. "You thinking about it, or still keeping a foot in the closet?"

"I…think I'll be keeping in the closet for the foreseeable future. But…this is something I should explore."

Piper nodded. "Fair enough. Wanna dance?"

Barry thought back to the week before, when he'd watched Piper dance with a few different partners. Barry wasn't much of a dancer himself, more of a swayer, and he wasn't overeager to try anything that involved nearly that much body contact. But it also seemed rude to say no.

"I guess. For a song or two."

"Don't worry, I'll be gentle," Piper said with a wink. He grabbed Barry by the wrist and tugged him out onto the floor.

Barry stood stock still, not sure of where to put any of his limbs. Piper pressed up against him, still smiling that adorably amused little smile, like he was going to burst out laughing at Barry's awkwardness any minute. He wrapped an arm around Barry's back and encouraged him to put his hand on Piper's hip. "Try to loosen up a little." He had to raise his voice to be heard over the music. "The idea is that we're supposed to be moving."

"I get that much at least," Barry answered defiantly. He put his right hand on Piper's hip as indicated and, unsure what to do with his left, he finally rested it on Piper's shoulder. Giggling a little, Piper started moving, silently urging Barry to do so too.

Thankfully, it wasn't as sexually charged as what many of the other couples in the bar were doing, but it was still a bit more intimate than any dances Barry had ever done before (although his experience boiled down to his wedding, a couple of parties, and his high school prom). Piper was very close to him, but his expression remained warm and friendly, and his hands stayed in polite places.

Barry still couldn't believe he was dancing with one of his supervillains.

It was pleasant enough though, so he danced for a few songs with Piper, waiting for the younger man to get bored with it. He didn't though (maybe it was a mistake, hoping that someone with a music gimmick would get sick of dancing), but eventually another man asked if he could cut in and dance with Piper.

"Would you mind? I don't want to leave you stranded," Piper said.

"Don't worry about me. Go on and enjoy yourself."

Piper frowned at him. "You're just going to wind up back on that bar stool, aren't you?"

"Dancing isn't really my thing anyway. I'd rather people watch. But you have fun."

To his surprise, Piper kissed his cheek, then went off to dance with the stranger. Barry walked back over to the bar stool rubbing at his cheek and feeling somewhat bewildered. He guessed these sorts of men were just more affectionate than normal guys.

The bartender brought him another beer and he watched the crowd while he slowly nursed it. No one else approached him, but he didn't mind. That didn't seem to be the case for Piper though. After dancing for a few songs with the first man, he wound up dancing with another, before joining a third at a table. Clearly he was very popular in this community. Barry wondered how many of the other men present knew Piper was a supercriminal.

Eventually Barry lost sight of Piper. He people watched for a little longer, trying to get a better sense of how these men behaved and wondering if he was really one of them. He definitely found some of the men attractive (Piper included), but he still couldn't imagine doing anything sexual with them.

He'd had dreams about Hal though…

But Hal was one of his closest friends. Maybe that was the key factor. Barry had never gotten hung up on anyone he didn't know personally, even when he was a kid. For him, sexual attraction was born out of close, personal intimacy. He needed to really know someone to find them beautiful, and he needed to find them beautiful to desire them.

He was probably wasting his time sitting at a gay bar then. He wasn't going to answer any of his questions about his sexuality in an establishment where people met to flirt (or worse) with strangers.

Barry paid for his and Piper's drinks again and started for the exit once more. He didn't get far before he felt a hand tugging against his arm. Barry turned around and found himself facing his nemesis.

Piper's face was a bit flushed and he was swaying a little where he stood. It occurred to Barry that even though he'd only been at the bar for an hour or so, he had no idea how long Piper had been there or how many drinks he'd had besides the one Barry had paid for. At any rate, he looked tipsy at the least.

"I thought I was supposed to pay this time," Piper said. "You said good guys take turns."

"We're not dating," Barry reminded him.

"Friends can spot each other though. Here, lemme pay this one." He reached into his pocket and took out a small wad of bills.

Highly reluctant to accept money that was probably stolen, Barry curled his hand over Piper's, closed it over the money, and guided it back towards his pocket. "You can buy the next round."

Piper's face lit up. "Does that mean you're coming back next week?"

Barry couldn't help but smile, wondering if Piper would be that happy if he knew who Barry really was. "Maybe."

"You'd better. Otherwise I'm going to have to track you down and buy you some booze. That'd be kind of fun anyway."

"Piper…how are you getting home? You're not driving, are you?"

"Are you calling me drunk?" Piper asked. Barry tried to think of a polite way to say it, and Piper laughed. "Okay, I'm a bit…gone. But not completely gone. Certainly not Captain Boomerang gone. No, I'm not driving. I'm going to walk."

"Do you need a ride?" Barry asked, not liking the thought of the (possibly too) friendly young man stumbling home by himself in an incapacitated state.

"I'm not going that far. I don't…you were on your way out."

"I can wait. If you need a ride, I don't mind." Yet another thing he never expected to say to a supervillain. Well, unless he was going to throw in a witty rejoinder about giving them a ride to prison.

Piper smiled again and gave Barry's hand a squeeze. "You're really nice Sunshine. Alright, lemme get my coat."

"You don't have to leave now if you don't want to."

Piper waved a hand dismissively. "I already got a few phone numbers tonight. I'm good. We can go. I'll be right back."


	2. Chapter 2

Barry waited by the exit and a moment later Piper joined him, wearing his fedora once more and with a wool overcoat slung over his arm. He followed Barry to his car, they got in, and a few minutes later they were on the road.

Piper directed Barry to his street, and Barry lifted his eyebrows. "You were really going to walk? That takes you through some pretty bad neighborhoods."

"I don't know if this penetrated last time, but you're talking to a friggin' supervillain, dude. I can handle myself."

"True, but you're not a supervillain known for physical combat. And you're not in costume. I'm guessing the predators lying in wait on those streets wouldn't recognize you." It wasn't just his superhero wiring that had a problem with Piper stumbling through bad neighborhoods by himself, but also his years examining crime scenes that occurred on those same said streets as part of his day job.

Piper slumped against Barry's door, an adorable pout on his face. "I can take care of myself."

"I'm sure you can," Barry said patronizingly. "But now there's no need to, as I can drop you safely on your doorstep. Why do you live in such a lousy part of town anyway? I'd think you could afford a better place."

"I like my apartment," Piper answered. "Besides, rich people suck. And they only have the illusion of safety. I like my little slum. It's more honest. And my neighbors need more help. I like helping people."

"That's the second time you've said that. You ever think about switching sides?" Barry asked. He couldn't help but think that with a little direction, the clever young man slouched over in his passenger seat would make an admirable superhero. He certainly had the potential, and if he'd had different life experiences he'd probably be there already.

Piper laughed. "Me, a superhero? C'mon, they'd never let me into their club."

"Why not?"

"Because…because I'm already tainted. And with them you have to be…unattainable." He frowned. "And besides, I'd have to put up with the Flash. Least right now I can piss him off from a safe distance."

That was too good an opening to pass up. "What do you have against the Flash? Other than the fact that he stops your crimes, I mean."

"He doesn't stop all of them," Piper insisted. "I get away with stuff sometimes."

"Alright," Barry said with a grin. He'd give Piper that, even though Piper only got away with small crimes leading up to bigger scores that Barry inevitably defeated. "Why don't you like him? He's just trying to help people."

"And his ego," Piper said, rolling his eyes. "He's such a self-righteous prick. I mean look at the guy. He takes the law into his own hands, so he's acting outside of the system, just like me, but since he sucks up and plays hero he gets patted on the back for it. And everything he does is friggin' black and white. For him all of his bad guys are the same. I bet he doesn't see any difference between me, a small time thief, and a psychotic killer like Professor Zoom."

"I'm sure he sees gradations. It's hard to imagine him equating you with Profes-"

"He certainly doesn't treat us like there's any difference! I mean it Barry, he's very disrespectful. It's like…because we break the law, even though he does too, we're nothing and we deserve whatever he does to us."

This wasn't as amusing as he'd thought it would be. "What does he do to you?"

"Humiliates us. Even tortures us a little. I think he thinks it's fun…I dunno. One of my friends, James Jesse, the Trickster? Do you know who he is?"

Barry nodded. He knew the Trickster pretty well. He was another jolly gimmick thief, like Piper. He wasn't surprised to hear that the two got along.

"Well he's got a fear of heights. It's really bad. He used to be a circus performer and his dad used to drop him. He's broken his arms and his ankles dozens of times because of it, and he has a terrible anxiety problem now. I've seen him have night terrors. It's pretty awful. Anyway, the Flash knows all that, but any chance he gets he confronts James with heights."

"He's probably exploiting a weakness. You know, using tactics."

"James isn't that dangerous, and I swear, it's like he's going out of his way to do it."

Barry actually did like to push Jesse's buttons about the heights thing, but he hadn't thought of it as cruelty. The Trickster played dangerous pranks and pulled wild stunts on him. As far as Barry had ever thought, he was only returning the favor.

"I don't know if the Flash really cares about helping people, or just having people know that he helps people," Piper said. "Then again, I'm just a rambling drunk supervillain, so what do I know. Maybe I am just sore because he throws me in jail so much, but I definitely don't like the guy."

"I think he does what he does to help people," Barry insisted. They sat in silence for a little while, Piper looking gloomily out the window and Barry grappling with what he'd said. After a few minutes he returned to their previous conversation topic. "You should consider switching sides, Piper. I think you'd get more done working within the system." His voice was quiet, but ringing with conviction.

"Maybe. My street's coming up."

"I see it."

Piper directed him to a worn looking brick building. If this was really where the supercriminal lived, he certainly wasn't using his ill-gotten gains on luxuries for himself. The place wasn't quite a dump, but it was a far cry from how Barry had always secretly suspected a supervillain would live (he'd envisioned elaborate and remote bases, with henchmen that doubled as butlers and servants).

"Thanks for the lift. You're an absolute doll," Piper said. He unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the car door, then closed it. "Um…would it be…can I give you my number? Do you wanna hang out sometime away from the club? It's just, um…you don't seem to really like it there."

It was tempting, but Barry shook his head. "Piper…I really can't become friends with you. I'm a cop. I'm not supposed to fraternize with ex-cons." And he was still kind of a con at the moment.

For some reason that made Piper smile. "Is that why you were trying to get me to become a superhero just now?"

Oh. "I still couldn't spend time with you anyway. It's a professional thing. I really would get in trouble at work for it. I could lose my job."

"I hadn't realized…alright. I'll…never mind. Goodbye then, I guess." He looked so flustered. Barry felt bad for him (again, something he'd never expected to feel regarding one of his Rogues).

"Piper, I…I'm sorry." And he really was, was the sad part.

Again, Piper started to get out of the car, then he got back in, looking angry. "No, I'm sorry, but what the hell have you been doing then?"

"Excuse me?" Barry asked, confused and a little alarmed by the sudden anger.

"You've been so flipping _nice_ to me. I thought, I mean you said you weren't interested but I thought you might be for later, when you were more sure of yourself, but I thought that even if you didn't ever want to date me you'd still…you were still acting like a friend. You were acting like a nice guy and _I don't know any of those_. I want to though. So why the hell'd you buy my drinks and talk to me and drive me home if we're not allowed to be friends?"

"I…I don't know. I wasn't really thinking, I guess."

"I think your job sucks and you should quit."

"Piper…just how badly do you need a good friend?" Barry asked, and then Piper started laughing. He rubbed his eyes with his hands and bent over.

"I'm pretty fucked up, I guess."

"I suppose you'd have to be to run around in tights and pick fights with people." Which applied to him too, come to think of it, but he'd always thought of his habits as more defensive than offensive. He'd keep telling himself that the Flash was vastly different from his Rogues. "You seem like a nice guy though, and I do mean that."

Piper looked at him from the crack between his fingers. "Thanks, I think." He sat up straight. "Sorry. I rant a bit when I'm drunk. Well, I rant when I'm sober too, but since I'm drunk I'm going to take advantage and use it to excuse my behavior. Are you sure we can't be friends? I won't tell anybody."

Barry still thought it was a bad idea, but he scribbled his phone number onto the back of a receipt for Piper. "Just don't get me fired."

Piper grinned. "Cool. I mean, I'll do my best. About the whole firing thing. Thanks Barry." And then, to Barry's surprise, he leaned over and kissed him on the mouth. It was a quick, close mouthed, almost friendly thing, but to someone with superspeed the warmth of lips and the tingle that went with it lasted a lot longer. Barry was a bit flabbergasted when Piper pulled away, smiling prettily (and tipsily) and looking at him from under his eyelashes. "See you later Barry."

"Good night Piper."

He watched until Piper made it inside, then waited for one of the lights to go on in the building. Once he was sure the quirky supervillain was safe in his home, he finally drove away.

"What a strange young man."

* * *

The next time Barry saw Piper they were both in costume.

He was at work, taking a break from some particularly involved DNA analysis to listen to the radio and drink a cup of coffee, when he heard a news report about a Rogue assault on a fleet of armored trucks.

Barry changed into costume and was on his way to the scene before he heard another word.

There were five trucks and they'd all been disabled. Captain Boomerang and Weather Wizard were emptying gold bars out of one of them while the Trickster hovered above them, keeping watch. "Guys, red blur streaking this way!"

Barry had to change course abruptly to avoid some exploding tops. That brought the Rogue count up to four. Then he was surrounded by a ring of fire. He decided to just count six, since he couldn't see the Rogues being this organized without Cold.

So, Weather Wizard, Boomerang, Trickster, Top, Heat Wave, and Cold at least. Piper and Mirror Master were likely to be present, but he hadn't seen any evidence of their work yet.

And a part of him hoped Piper had found a reason to sit this one out...

Weather Wizard aimed an attack at Barry while he was still in Heat Wave's fire trap, and he managed to turn the storm cloud to his advantage and get it to put out the fire. Barry ran at the wizard and socked him in the jaw.

"Dammit Mardon!" Heat Wave yelled. "I friggin' told you to keep the water works away from my flames!" Barry hit Weather Wizard again and then tossed him at Heat Wave.

He ducked again to avoid some razor boomerangs, with the result that they flew towards the Trickster. "Hey! Y'wanna try aiming next time Digger!?"

"I am aiming! Get out of the way you stupid ass!"

Barry loved when they squabbled with each other. They always distracted themselves, and it made his job that much easier. He kept darting between Boomerang and Trickster, and the exploding rubber chickens and boomerangs they threw at him sailed much closer to each other than their nemesis. Finally, one of the boomerangs caught Trickster's flying shoes, sending him plummeting towards the ground.

Mindful of what Piper had said the other night, Barry kicked up a mini-twister under Jesse and safely lowered him to the ground before he had time to notice he was falling. The jerk thanked him by hitting him in the face with a weighted yo-yo.

From there the battle became a blur of different Rogues as he took them down. Barry ran on instinct: dodge an exploding top, outmaneuver a mirror gadget (he _knew_ Sam Scudder had to be hiding somewhere), dodge a blast from an absolute zero gun. His attention kicked in again when he was grabbing an instrument from Piper.

His personal acquaintance with the Rogue made him reluctant to punch Piper. It was really difficult to hit someone when you knew they'd been in an abusive relationship. Instead, Barry grabbed the startled looking criminal by the collar and ran him to jail. He left Piper looking a little sick, but otherwise fine, sitting in a jail cell, then went back to the armored cars and took down the rest of the Rogues.

He left them either unconscious or tied up for the police, checked that the drivers for the trucks were all okay, and then went back to work.

* * *

The Rogues trickled out of Iron Heights over the next few weeks. The Top was the first one to break out, followed by Mirror Master and Captain Cold, then Piper, Trickster, and Heat Wave, and so on until they were all at large again. Barry was too used to it to care beyond finding it annoying. It'd be nice if Iron Heights would at least make it _challenging_ for the Rogues to get out.

Barry wondered if he was ever going to get a call from Piper, and a few days after his escape he finally did. Piper invited him out for coffee, and the next morning Barry met him in a café in Keystone City.

Piper sat down across from him with some kind of fancy looking steamed… _thing_ (Barry had purchased a black coffee), looking tired but otherwise well. "Hey. I'm a little surprised you showed up. Um…since I'm obviously not on parole anymore."

"I had thought you were considering giving up the supercrime."

Piper shrugged. "I admit, it's not very satisfying anymore, but it's pretty much my entire social life at the moment. I figured meeting in Keystone would be better for you, considering, y'know…hanging out with me could get you fired."

"I appreciate it," Barry said. "With that in mind…are you sure you don't want to give up being a criminal?"

Piper drummed his fingers against the table. "I didn't call you up to get chewed out. Can we talk about something else? Anything else?"

"I'm sorry. It's just an important subject to me. Um…what would you like to talk about?"

Piper smirked. "Done anything gay yet?"

Barry felt his face grow warm. He looked around the café to see if anyone had heard (after all, they weren't at an exclusively homosexual establishment this time). As far as he could tell, the other café patrons were all lost in their own little worlds. He was still careful to keep his voice down. "No, not yet."

"Ah. You know, this exploration process is going to drag on forever if you keep it all hypothetical."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Barry asked.

Piper took a sip of his latte, an amused gleam in his pretty blue eyes. "It means you need to get laid."

Barry frowned. "It's not that simple."

"It was for me."

"Well I'm not you. I don't want to have sex with just anybody."

Piper scowled at him. "And just what are you implying about me?"

"Piper, I've seen you at that club. You…you're one of, y'know, _those_ men that…" As Barry got more flustered Piper got more visibly upset. "Um, didn't you say the other night that you were collecting phone numbers?"

"I do mingle to meet people, but I don't just sleep with strangers. I've slept with four men in my life and they were all monogamous boyfriends."

"Oh."

"I met two of them at clubs, and I'm keeping my eye out for the fifth. But way to assume I'm a slut. That's nice, is what that is."

Barry cleared his suddenly constricted throat. "I'm sorry. It just, I mean, it looked like…"

Piper snorted. "Don't worry about it. You're pretty repressed, huh?"

"It's been awhile since I've dated." Barry rubbed absently at his ring finger as he spoke.

Piper picked up on the involuntary action. "Divorced?"

"Widower."

"I'm sorry. Wait, this…confusion…are you sure it's not just misplaced grief?"

Barry shrugged. "It could be. But…something's always felt a little off. The more I think about it, the more I'm sure I need to keep looking into this."

"Fair enough. I'll tell you this right now though; there are very few men out there who will commit to a closeted guy who isn't sure he's gay who won't have sex unless things get serious. In fact, I'm not sure anyone would sign themselves on for that kind of psychological torture. You might have to compromise on your sexual values a little to get the answers you want."

That was a disappointingly valid point. While Barry still didn't want to do anything intimate with someone he didn't care about, he had to admit that Piper was right. It wouldn't be fair for the other man if things progressed to a certain point and then Barry realized he was wrong and he was heterosexual.

"How did you find out you were gay?" Barry asked.

Piper laughed. "I just needed to learn what the word meant and find out there were other people like me. I've always known I was attracted to guys. I was only ever in the closet when I was ashamed of myself, and once I got past the shame I never hid it again."

"So you just knew?" Barry asked, incredulous. Piper nodded, and suddenly he was jealous. Why couldn't he just know? Why all this confusion?

"It's different for everyone though," Piper said. "Some people don't get a handle on their sexuality until a midlife crisis or something. So…you gonna go back to the club on Friday?"

Barry shrugged. "Maybe. I haven't decided yet. Are you?"

"Yeah. Mixing with the other gay guys downtown is the other half of my social life. Plus I've been single too long, and I damn well won't land a boyfriend through supervillainy."

"There aren't any other gay supervillains?" Barry asked, feeling some surprise. He'd always kind of wondered about the Trickster.

"None that I know of, anyway," Piper answered.

"Do the others know you are?" Barry had been kind of curious about that since the first night he'd talked to Piper. He'd come to the conclusion that Piper must be closeted to the other Rogues, because he couldn't imagine it would be safe to be an openly gay supervillain.

"They know, yeah. Most of them don't care, but they pretty much all make digs. Especially when they're drinking." His eyes turned downcast, and Barry regretted bringing it up. Generally, Piper had been amiable, amused, or defiant around him. He'd yet to see him look so wounded. And his face was so damn expressive.

It was really uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry, Piper. That must be difficult."

Piper glanced up, smirking. "Yet another argument in favor of quitting, right?"

"I wasn't going to say anything, but now that you mention it…"

Piper laughed. "What's your goal, Barry? You want to make me a cop, like you?"

Barry was thinking superhero, actually.

Piper rested his elbows on the table and leaned forward a little. "Would you date me then?" he asked, a playful smile on his face.

He was probably just teasing, but Barry still looked away, feeling conflicted. "You just pointed out what a lousy boyfriend I'd make."

"I said you'd be a risky boyfriend. Probably a pain in the ass to boot, but…once all the work was done? I think you'd be quite the catch. Anyway, I'm interested, if you are. But I'm also fine with the friend zone, so it's your call."

Barry turned to look at Piper again and considered the quirky young man in some seriousness. Barry did like him, there was no denying that, and they had a certain chemistry. He was well spoken, intelligent, and even though it was misdirected, he had a passion for helping others to rival Barry's own. Plus he was good looking.

But it could never happen.

"Tell you what Piper, I'll go on a date with you the day you give up being a supervillain." He was teasing when he said it, but Piper considered his words anyway.

"Give me some time to think about it. It's a pretty substantial life change, after all. I've been doing this since I was nineteen."

That was only three years. Though he supposed the years between nineteen and twenty two were pretty important ones. "Sure. Take your time."

"Great. Can we still be friends in the meantime?"

"Of course. You know, with the same conditions as before."

"Right, right." Piper waved a hand dismissively. "I'll try not to get you fired."

"Much obliged."

"So I'll see you at the club on Friday then?" Piper asked.

"I…I guess."

"Great." Piper finished off his drink and then stood to leave. "See you later Barry."

"Bye." Barry still had a few sips of his coffee left, so he stayed behind to finish it. He watched Piper leave the café, and as he was sitting by a window, he saw him cross the street and head towards a nearby convenience store.

Then Barry noticed a familiar looking man heading towards Piper. It took him a second to place the energetic blond without a domino mask on his face, but that was most definitely the Trickster. He walked up to Piper, the two traded a few quick words, and then they went their separate ways.

Barry frowned, wondering what the hell that had been about.

He questioned the wisdom of befriending one of his Rogues in his civilian identity. He hadn't given it as much thought as he should have, but there were thousands of ways for this to spectacularly backfire on him beyond getting him fired from his day job.


	3. Chapter 3

Despite his misgivings, Barry still headed over to the club on Friday night. He resolved to simply be more cautious around Piper, and maybe not share so many personal details from now on. It would probably be a difficult resolution to keep though. Piper was so open himself; reciprocating not only felt natural, but polite.

He spent a little more time dressing before he left his apartment. Usually he showed up in the same clothes he wore to work, but this time Barry dressed casually. He'd bought a pair of black jeans and a button down shirt, and he made sure to brush his hair and even put on some cologne before he left.

Piper found him almost immediately. This time he was wearing a tight pair of jeans with artful rips and a baggy green sweater. He seemed to favor shirts that were loose around the collar, displaying a bit of his chest and drawing attention to his long, graceful neck.

"Wow, club clothes and everything. Is this a first for you?"

Barry felt his face color at the gentle teasing, but it was a little embarrassing. "Not exactly. It just felt silly, wearing my work clothes here week after week. You look nice."

"Thanks. Remember, it's my turn to buy us drinks this time."

"Right."

Piper grabbed Barry's arm and dragged him over to one of the tables. It was vacant, which was good because Barry certainly wasn't feeling brave enough to mingle with any of Piper's acquaintances, supervillain or otherwise. He was decidedly outside his comfort zone as is.

"Stay right here. I'll be right back with our drinks," Piper ordered. Barry sat down, and Piper excitedly took off in the direction of the bar. Barry lost sight of him for a moment as a group passed by, but then he saw Piper, chatting with the bartender and swaying his hips a little to the music as he waited for the drinks.

Barry found his eyes drifting lower, and finally settling on Piper's ass. Those jeans really were tight…and Piper looked fantastic in them.

He gave himself a little shake. What had up to that point been a distant observation that Piper was a reasonably attractive man had shifted. Barry frowned thoughtfully. He looked at Piper again, watching him tuck a long strand of his red gold hair behind his ear, laughing at something the bartender had said. Barry imagined being the one to stroke back that errant strand of hair, smoothing his fingers down Piper's cheek in the process, feeling how soft and warm his skin was…

Yep, the distant acknowledgment of attractiveness had turned into desire. And as per Barry's own observations about himself, he only desired people he felt some kind of mental intimacy with. He'd only been spending any kind of quality time with Piper for the past few weeks, but already they were there.

It had taken him almost a year to get to that point with Iris, which included three months of dates. That was when she'd started calling him the slowest man alive. "Honestly Barry," he remembered her saying. "I've never dated a man as respectful as you. It took you two months to try to get my bra off. Are you sure you're a real college boy?"

God he missed her.

Piper returned with their drinks, a frown marring his pretty face. "You look melancholy."

"Sorry. Thoughts drifted to a dark place for a moment. I'm better now." He accepted his beer and forced a smile onto his face. "So how's your week been?"

"Dull. Thanks to you I've been avoiding Rogue festivities. I sat at home reading while the rest of the guys got shitfaced and TP'd the Flash Museum."

He'd assumed a rowdy group of teenagers had been behind the vandalism. It wasn't exactly surprising to hear that it was the grown men in the Rogues though.

"What do you mean thanks to me?" Barry asked. "I didn't tell you to avoid anybody."

"No, but you did tell me you'd go on a date with me if I dropped the supervillainy. Right now the only reason I still do it is because I don't have any other friends. And let's face it, the Rogues are pretty sucky friends. They rip on me for my sexuality, for my wealthy background, for my moral convictions…some of them rip on me for 'using big words' and the ones who don't are the ones who go after me for being pretentious. I'm checking to see what my quality of life is like without them."

"Learning anything?" Barry asked, sure that the change could only be positive.

Piper tilted his head to the side and pretended to consider. "Well…I'm thinking about getting a cat. So apparently if I quit robbing banks I'm going to turn into a caricature of a desperate single woman. How's your week been?"

Barry shrugged. "Okay."

Piper quirked an eyebrow. "Just okay?" Barry only nodded, determined not to divulge anything more personal than that, and Piper made another attempt at conversation. "How's work?"

"Fine."

"Alright…um…I got a few new CDs the other day. One of my favorite bands is actually on tour right now, and they're going to be in the area in a couple of weeks. Would you want to see them with me?"

"Maybe. I'm, um, I'm not that into music, really."

Piper frowned. "All of it? How can you not be into _any_ music?"

"I'm just too busy to keep up with anything."

"That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. Don't you have a favorite song? Anything?" Piper asked, looking genuinely concerned. Apparently music was much more than a method of attack to him.

"I've never really thought about it. I have a favorite singer. I like Elvis." A memory came back to him: sitting in the kitchen on a sunny day when he was little, his mother singing along with the radio while she baked cookies. "I guess Love Me Tender would be my favorite song."

"That's a pretty one," Piper said with a nod. "Good choice."

From there Piper ranted about music for a little while. Barry didn't really listen to him, but he smiled and nodded as he watched Piper speak, surprised at the passion he displayed. There were so many more productive ways he could have channeled his interest in music than into supervillainy. Maybe all he needed was one good influence in his life to turn it around. Barry was really starting to believe he could be that positive influence, and then who knows where things could go from there…

Piper was interrupted in his ranting and Barry in his thoughts by a third person joining their table. Barry assumed it would have to be an acquaintance of Piper's, and was surprised to recognize one of his friends sitting down across from him. "Hal? What are you doing here?"

"…hey there," Piper said, initially looking uneasy but warming up a bit at Barry's obvious recognition of the stranger.

"Looking for you, obviously," Hal said to Barry, then he turned towards Piper and flashed his charmer's smile. "And hey there yourself."

Barry frowned, wishing he'd gotten an actual answer to his question. Though the answer probably boiled down to something along the lines of 'I felt bad about ditching you the other week, I had a free night, and I found you with my ring.'

"Friend of yours Barry?" Piper asked.

"Yes. Um, Hal this is…this is Piper, and Piper, this is my friend Hal. He's…uh…exploring too."

Hal held out his hand and Piper shook it. Barry was kind of hoping the name Piper would ring a bell for Hal, and he'd realize that this was one of Barry's Rogues. Nope. Or, if he had made the connection he certainly wasn't showing it.

"I'm not as repressed as Mr. Clean-Cut here though, so I'm a little further along. I almost died of shock when I walked in here and saw the guy chatting you up."

Piper laughed. "Believe me, that wasn't the case the first time he came in here. He mentioned having a friend who'd ditched out on him and I was starting to think he'd made you up."

"Nope. As you can see, I'm very real."

Piper's eyes raked him over, and then settled back on Hal's face. "Mm hm. So how do you guys know each other?"

"We work together," Hal started to say, but broke off at the look Barry gave him.

"Kind of. We used to work together sometimes. He's not a police scientist though."

Hal threw Barry a significant look, and Barry narrowed his eyes at him. He needed to get Hal alone so he could tell him that Piper was a supervillain (but hopefully Barry could get him to reform) and that they needed to be careful what kind of information they gave him.

The glare didn't get his message across though, and Hal struck up a conversation with Piper that shared all manner of amusing anecdotes about Barry's personal life. Barry kept shooting him glares whenever Piper wasn't looking at him (which was pretty frequent, as he was smiling dazedly at Hal and laughing an awful lot), and he even went so far as to kick him under the table.

He figured Hal must have gotten the message then, because he switched gears. Instead of talking about Barry, he ignored his friend's presence entirely as he shamelessly flirted with Piper, who was definitely reciprocating.

That hadn't been what Barry was going for either. He watched in helpless bitterness as his suave friend openly hit on a young man who was for all intents and purposes a perfect stranger to him. They both seemed to forget Barry was even present, culminating in Hal asking Piper to dance.

Surprisingly, Piper, his friggin' _Rogue_ , was the one to turn to Barry and ask if he minded. Not Hal Jordan, his longtime best friend, but the Maestro of Malevolence. "Would you mind if we danced for a bit Barry? You'll be okay by yourself for a little while, right?"

Barry started to tell them it was fine (even though it wasn't), when Hal cut him off. "C'mon Piper, Barry's a grown man. He'll be okay." And then he grabbed Piper's arm and dragged him away.

Barry slumped over in his seat and sourly watched them go. After a few minutes a man approached his table and started to talk to him, but he left when Barry scowled at him.

* * *

 

Over an hour later, Barry was still very much by himself. He'd migrated over to the bar where he kept checking his watch, wondering if he should just leave. He'd lost sight of his friends (who were clearly immersed in each other), and it was a logical enough guess that they'd forgotten about him.

He'd finally settled on leaving, and was heading for the exit when he saw Hal across the room at one of the tables, chatting up a kid who looked to be about Piper's age. Barry was still staring at him in some confusion when Hal chanced to look up and noticed him. He made some sort of excuse to the kid, then strolled over to Barry. "Hey. I didn't expect you to still be here."

"Where would I go?" Barry asked.

Hal frowned. "I figured you and Piper would have headed out by now. Er…he didn't go and find you after he ditched me, did he?"

Barry shook his head. "Why would he though? I figured the two of you were having a grand old time together."

Hal scowled at him. "Look, when I tried to help you out with him you were giving me a death glare, so I figured that meant it was okay for me to go for it. You need to work on your signals."

"I don't know if there's a good signal for 'he's a supervillain so don't say too much,'" Barry snapped.

Hal blinked at him. "Seriously? That skinny gay kid's a supervillain?" Barry nodded. "One of yours?" He nodded again. "Don't your guys like hang out though?"

"Yes Hal, they do."

"…you're telling me that skinny little gay kid hangs out with other supervillains on a regular basis. Do they know he's gay?"

Barry nodded.

"Wow. And he's not dead yet?"

"Clearly not."

"Kid's got a pair."

"That he does."

Hal shook his head, sporting an amused smile. "So what is going on with you two then? You like him, don't you?"

"I do," Barry admitted. "But…obviously I can't date a supervillain. Least of all a male one."

"I don't know about that. I think almost everyone in the League's at least thought about one of their adversaries like that, so no one could blame you. And so what if he's male? Isn't that why you started coming to this place?"

Barry frowned. "Just because I think I might…enjoy a romantic encounter with a man doesn't mean…I mean…I don't think I can really be like one of these guys Hal. I'm not…"

Hal squeezed his shoulder. "Sure you are. You just need to find the right guy. And apparently it might be Piper. He seems nice enough, other than this alleged supervillainy. Maybe you can woo him into reforming."

He really hoped so.

"So what happened when you two wandered off?" Barry asked. "I haven't seen him since."

"Oh. Yeah, um…" Hal rubbed at the back of his neck, looking a bit uncomfortable. "Well we did dance for a bit, and I bought him a couple of drinks and we talked some more…and, um…well I figured he'd go looking for you."

Barry wrinkled his brow. "What did you do Hal?"

"I…found out that Piper's morality regarding sex is a bit more like yours than mine."

This was why most of the other members of the Justice League mercilessly teased him for being repressed and conservative, but he just didn't understand casual sex. And maybe Hal and Ollie liked to give him shit, but at least he didn't have to have regular STD tests the way they did. "You tried to have sex with him? _Tonight_? You guys just met!" Barry exploded.

Hal smirked at him. "I know."

"You know nothing about him!"

"I know he's cute."

"You didn't know he was a supervillain!"

"Hey, you want to sleep with him and you know about that, so don't pretend his supervillainy is relevant."

Barry gaped at him. He knew Hal was a tad promiscuous, but he didn't realize his habits extended to complete strangers as long as they were above average looking.

"Anyway, we made out for a little and then I pushed things too far for his comfort. I asked him if he'd be interested in going on a couple dates and getting to know each other, and he really looked like he was going to go for it, but then…"

"What?" Barry asked.

"He said he was too hung up on you to try dating one of your friends," Hal said. "Which was a little weird, come to think of it. I mean, we were making out for kind of awhile before he broke it off. Poor guy must be feeling conflicted. I take it you're not going out with him because of the him being one of your villains thing?"

Barry nodded. "I did tell him I'd consider going on a date if he switched sides though."

Hal looked more confused than ever. "So does he know you're the Flash?"

Barry shook his head. "He knows I'm a cop though, and cops are most definitely not allowed to date supervillains."

"Ah. Barry…you should tread carefully here."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Barry asked. After being abandoned for most of the night he was feeling irritable, and in no mood for such an uncomfortable conversation. He just wanted to go home and forget all about his issues, his damned confusion, and a skinny little supervillain with pretty blue eyes.

"Look, the kid obviously likes you. He's considering making some pretty substantial changes to his life just to suit you. Don't play with his head too much. You've got a lot of power over him already. Just be careful."

Barry frowned, thoroughly unsettled by everything Hal had said. He nodded distantly, then left the club.

* * *

 

The next few days passed in a blur. A dozen cases dropped on Barry's desk first thing Monday morning, and if that hadn't been enough to keep him busy, Gorilla Grodd made another bid for rule that devastated five blocks in downtown Central, Mirror Master pulled a series of heists, and Rainbow Raider tried to rob a traveling exhibit of Impressionist pieces.

By the time Friday rolled around Barry was too exhausted and crabby to even think of heading out to the club. He stayed in and watched TV for as much of the night as he could get away with (he was called out twice, first on Captain Boomerang, then on the Trickster), and he fell asleep on the couch with the remote in his hand.

Saturday morning he was awoken by a ringing phone. Barry rubbed at his eyes, turned the TV off, then raced through his apartment and grabbed the cordless from his nightstand. "Hello?"

"Hey Barry. It's Piper. I, um…I hadn't heard from you in kind of awhile, so I thought I'd, um…check in? Is that okay?"

Barry fell back against his mattress and rubbed at his neck, regretting falling asleep on the couch. "Of course it's okay. Sorry I haven't seen you. I've just been really busy."

"Mm. Looks like my old…we'll call them friends for lack of a better term, I suppose. Well anyway, it looks like the Rogues have been keeping you police officers pretty busy this week."

"That's an understatement."

"At least Flash did all the heavy lifting for you."

Barry smiled. "There is that, at least. So what's going on? Did you want to meet for coffee again?"

"Well, that'll definitely be a start. I need to talk to you."

"That sounds ominous," Barry said, sitting up straight. His mind jumped to dozens of ridiculous conclusions as he did so, and the first one was that Piper really had slept with Hal.

"It's nothing ominous." So why did he sound so terrified? "I just...alright, here goes nothing. I want to take you up on your offer."

"You...huh?"

"I'll do it, Barry. I'll quit supervillainy. I don't really like it anyway, and I'm sick of the way the Rogues treat me. I want to try to help people from within the system, so consider me a law abiding citizen from now on."

Barry's jaw dropped, and for half a second he gazed into his darkened bedroom in shock. Then he recovered himself, and a wide smile broke out on his face. "Well then let's not get coffee. Let's get dinner instead."

He just barely heard Piper let out a relieved breath. "I'm free all weekend."

"I'll pick you up at your place tonight at eight."

"Okay...see you then, I guess."

Still smiling like an idiot, Barry said goodbye and hung up the phone. He'd probably panic later, but at the moment he was incredibly excited about his first date since he was in college.


	4. Chapter 4

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"Absolutely not. Look, step aside and let me help you because oh fucking hell do you need it."

Barry had been in the process of getting ready for his date when there'd been a knock on the door. He'd opened it up to find Hal standing on his doorstep, apparently halfway through a conversation with him that he didn't remember starting.

But he did as instructed, and stepped aside to let his friend in. "What exactly do I need help with?"

"Everything. First you're going to take off that bow tie. No, don't just take it off, burn it. Then I want you to wash that gel out of your hair. You're taking this kid out to dinner, not back in time to a sock hop or whatever the hell our grandparents used to do." Hal paused as something occurred to him. "You're not, right?"

"Not what?"

"Time travelling?" He looked almost hopeful when he said it.

Barry's answering scowl cleared that right up. "Of course I'm not taking him back in time! That would be an inexcusably irresponsible use of the cosmic treadmill, and besides that, I'm going out with Piper as a civilian!"

"Right, right. So then you're definitely gonna ditch the bow tie."

Barry frowned thoughtfully, then went into the bathroom to reconsider his outfit choices. Maybe Hal had a point. He'd always been old fashioned about wardrobe (because he _liked_ the aesthetics of a bygone era), but Piper was young and, well…kind of hip. In that artsy cultural fringe kind of way. He'd probably only like bowties if he thought they were ironic.

And Barry didn't pull off ironic very well. Hal was definitely better at this stuff than him. Barry took the bowtie off (but didn't light it on fire or otherwise dispose of it), washed his hair, and then went back into the main room to look for Hal and ask for advice.

Hal wasn't in the living room anymore though. Barry found him in his bedroom, using his power ring to float Barry's clothes past him one outfit at a time. "No…no…no…is that a sweater vest? Dear God Barry…aren't you my age?"

"You're eight months younger than me," Barry reminded him.

"Yeah, eight months, not eight decades. Well the way I see it we've got two options. Either you're borrowing clothes from me or we're going clothes shopping."

"Now?" Barry looked at his watch. "I'm supposed to pick Piper up in twenty minutes."

"Then I guess it's a good thing we've got super powers."

"Super powers or not, I don't think taking a run to your apartment in Coast City is a good idea right now, and I'm not going shopping."

"I figured something like this was going to happen." Hal floated Barry's clothes back into the closet and then went into the living room. He returned with a backpack and upended it over Barry's bed. Several shirts and pairs of pants fell out.

Barry felt more than a little insulted. "I can dress myself."

"Like a senior citizen. We established that already. I thought you liked this kid, Barry."

"I do."

"Then you don't want to show up for your date reminding him of his grandfather."

Barry looked at his friend's clothes and frowned. "I don't know that I want to show up looking like you either though."

"Yeah, well a decent outfit and a good hair style will only take you so far on the path to perfection," Hal teased. "The shirt you're wearing isn't too bad, but those pants are pretty awful. C'mon Barry, you're a better looking guy than that."

Barry felt a sting of bitterness at those words. Hal had said nothing of the kind when he'd insisted their friendship was completely platonic on his end.

"What do you suggest?" Barry asked, taking pains to keep his tone civil.

Hal tossed him a pair of dark blue jeans. "Here. These are a great fit on me, so they shouldn't be too bad on you. And casual pants will make your dress shirt look less ridiculous."

Barry decided to take his word for it. He changed into the pants in the blink of an eye, then did a little turn for approval.

Hal slapped a hand to his face and let out a frustrated groan. "Will you untuck the damn shirt?"

"Huh? Why? Won't I look sloppy?"

"Trust me. Just untuck the shirt."

"Okay…" Barry did as instructed.

"And undo the top button. Jesus Christ. You're that kid from middle school who let his fussy mother dress him, aren't you?"

"Did you come here to help me or bully me?"

Hal grinned. "Little of both. C'mon, let's go fix your hair." He grabbed Barry's arm and yanked him back into the bathroom.

* * *

 

Barry was ten minutes late getting to Piper's, which was actually pretty good time for him. Despite the superspeed, he usually ran late. He'd say that the superspeed lulled him into thinking he had more time than he did, but he'd been that way before the accident too.

Piper was sitting on his front stoop with a pair of headphones on and reading a book when Barry pulled up. He was suddenly grateful for Hal's intervention. Piper was dressed flatteringly, but also casually, and Barry would have felt stupid greeting him in a suit and tie (even a bow tie).

Piper looked up, smiled, and slipped his little book into his jacket pocket. He stowed the headphones in another pocket and then got into the car.

"I was beginning to fear you'd chickened out," Piper said.

"Not at all. I guess I should have warned you. I'm habitually late." Even without a naggy Justice League alum picking apart his clothes.

Piper laughed self-consciously. "A warning would have been nice. Well, it doesn't matter now. You're here and we're really doing this."

"Yes, we really are," Barry said, willing down a sudden burst of panic. He turned to give his date one more look (and was treated to an attractive but nervous smile), and then pulled out into the street.

* * *

 

"What is that?"

"Food."

"It really doesn't look like it. Or, if it is food, it looks like someone's already eaten it for you and regurgitated it."

Piper lifted a forkful of curried vegetables to his mouth and took an indulgent bite. "Mmm…pre chewed deliciousness."

In an effort to keep Barry from getting fired, they'd opted to avoid places he frequented so that he'd be less likely to run into someone he knew. As such, they'd gone to one of Piper's favorite restaurants, a little organic café just outside the Central University campus. A lot of people seemed to recognize Piper, but they were all calling him Henry.

Barry took another bite of his veggie burger (which didn't taste anything like a real burger, but it was pretty good in its own way), and then decided that it had been a little while and Piper wasn't going to volunteer the information himself. He'd have to ask about it. "So how come everyone's calling you Henry?"

"Hm? Oh." Piper lowered his voice. "It's one of my aliases. I have quite a few. What? I do a lot of charity work and volunteering. I wouldn't be able to if everyone knew I was a supervillain."

"Are you going to be honest with these people now that you're reforming?" Barry pressed. For a moment Piper looked annoyed, but his expression relaxed back to easy indifference.

"Probably not. It's not like I like my given name."

He said it in self-deprecating good humor, but Barry was starting to notice a pattern. Even though he feigned self-assurance particularly well, Barry rarely (if ever) heard Piper say anything complimentary about himself. It seemed that everything about Piper bothered him, from his name to his job to his life in general. It was a little worrying. More than a little, actually.

Perhaps a compliment was in order. "Now that I have more to connect it to than the Maestro of Malevolence, I like calling you Piper. It's cute."

Piper scrunched up his nose in that adorable manner Barry had already seen a few times. "I'm not cute."

Barry smirked. "We'll have to agree to disagree."

Piper tried to look annoyed, but there was a small smile quirking his lips.

When the bill came they both reached for it. Piper calmly returned Barry's stare without moving his hand from the slip of paper.

"You bought the last round of drinks," Barry said.

"You bought two before that and I only bought one."

"I asked you out. Doesn't that mean I should pay?"

"You asked me out and that was the hard part. You should let me pay."

"Asking you out wasn't nearly as difficult as it might have been. You made it pretty clear you wanted to be asked out, which I think was the hard part. Piper, please let me pay?"

Piper took his hand away and rolled his eyes. "Fine. But only because you said please."

Barry took out his wallet and glanced down at the bill. It wasn't a particularly expensive date, but it was important to him to pay. It was comforting, familiar. He'd never been on a date where he hadn't paid for the meal.

They left the café together, but instead of going right for Barry's car they started walking around the campus. It was a nice night, and it was still pretty early.

"Just out of curiosity…how were you going to pay the bill anyway? Aren't you unemployed now?" Barry asked.

"Not exactly," Piper said, sounding a bit defensive and irritable. He answered the question anyway, even though the inquiry clearly annoyed him. "I've got enough savings to live off of if I need it, but I've been making some legitimate money here and there selling my instruments. It's what I wanted to do before I fell into supervillainy."

"Oh. So you're going to be okay then?" Which was what Barry had really wanted to know when he asked the question. He didn't like the idea of having guilt tripped Piper into reforming if he couldn't safely accomplish such a dramatic life change.

Something in Piper's face softened. "Yes Barry, I'm going to be fine."

"Good. When I was trying to talk you out of supervillainy, it's because I think it's good for you. I don't want you to…well, I mean, you already live in a bad neighborhood."

"Are you worried about me?"

Maybe. He certainly had a hard time not thinking about Piper, so it must have been worry. There was something tragic in the other young man, something that made it seem like he needed saving. Which was a good way to appeal to a superhero, whether he knew it or not.

Piper fixed him with an expectant stare, clearly waiting for an answer.

"I've…been thinking about you a lot lately," Barry admitted.

Piper's face lit up. "I've been thinking about you too. Almost all the time, actually."

Barry hadn't meant the comment quite as romantically as Piper was taking it, but it didn't seem like a good idea to correct the mistake. Barry shoved his hands in his pockets and started walking faster, even though they didn't have a destination.

Piper matched pace with him, and when he touched Barry's shoulder Barry turned around and faced him. "Barry…are you okay?"

"No." Barry scrubbed a hand through his hair. "Look, I have no idea what I'm doing here."

"Neither do I. If you'll recall, you're not the only one reevaluating your life choices for the sake of this date," Piper reminded him. "But you like me, don't you?"

Barry nodded.

"Well I like you too. That's enough for now, okay? Don't overthink this. We can worry about everything else after a few more dates. I mean…assuming you want to go out again after this?" Piper's voice had grown incredibly small by that point, losing all his typical assertiveness. He broke eye contact, suddenly looking nervous again.

Barry ran his fingers across Piper's jaw and gently tilted his face up so that they were making eye contact. "I'm not sure it's the best idea in the world, for either of us, but I _want_ to. I definitely want to see you again."

Piper leaned forward that extra little bit and captured Barry's lips in a soft kiss. For a moment he gave in to the sensation, allowing his eyes to drift shut as he reached up to cup Piper's face, stroking along his jawline with his hands and coaxing the captivating young man's mouth open so he could deepen the kiss. It was incredible. Piper's lips were so soft and warm, and the quick strokes of his clever tongue had Barry groaning into the contact.

Then he remembered that they were standing in the open in a public place. Indeed, when Barry pulled away from Piper more than a few people were staring at them judgmentally and whispering .

" _Faggots_!" A passing car sped by them, the kids shouting and laughing out an open window. One of them threw a soda cup that would have hit Piper if Barry hadn't used his speed to deflect it.

Thankfully, Piper didn't notice. He'd rushed over to grab a decoratively painted white rock from the walkway of an eclectic boutique. Barry was glancing around nervously, checking to see that no one had noticed how fast he'd moved to knock away that soda, when Piper ran past him and hurled the rock at the car.

He had pretty good aim.

Barry probably could have stopped him if he'd really wanted to.

The rock smacked into the trunk of the car, leaving a solid dent. Grinning in triumph, Piper grabbed Barry's arm and tugged him towards one of the campus' greens, away from the street. It was a good move; the car had stopped suddenly and the kids climbing out of it were yelling about the rock.

"You just picked a fight with a bunch of teenagers," Barry pointed out as they ran for it.

"Yep. And I damn well don't want to get arrested for beating the shit out of them now that I'm trying to reform, so let's not let them catch up to us, alright Sunshine?"

Barry glanced at his slight companion, then threw a look over his shoulder at the teenagers that were in fact following them. He decided it was impolite to tell Piper that he probably couldn't take the group of them. Barry had been fighting Piper on and off for a few years now; the guy really wasn't that impressive without his tech.

"Get back here! You faggots have gotta pay for what you did to my car!"

Piper stopped running. "That word again!"

"Piper? What about not going to jail?" Barry tugged at his arm, but Piper dug his heels in. His face was contorted with disgust.

"I really hate that word."

"Piper, let's go! Hartley!" He was sorely tempted to throw the skinny pest over his shoulder and take off, identity be damned.

The teenagers were catching up to them. There were five of them, and they were all rather large and thuggish. In fact, they looked about one year and a few bad choices away from becoming henchmen.

"You pussy ass fucking faggot!" The ostensible owner of the car ran forward and aimed a punch at Piper. He grabbed the guy's arm and used his momentum to throw him into the grass.

"I want to get one thing straight," Piper snarled at the kid, who was gaping at him in surprise. Barry was a little surprised too.

Apparently he was a better fighter than Barry'd thought. At least, as long as his opponent moved with human speed.

"I may be gay, but I'm not weak. I'm certainly strong enough to kick your uncultured ass, you ignorant thug. And I want you to think twice before you shout disgusting vitriol like that at perfect strangers who are minding their own damn business ever again."

One of the other teens ran at Piper. While Barry was still trying to figure out how to help without giving his identity away, Piper ducked under the kid's swinging arm, avoided another poorly aimed hit, and then kicked him in the stomach. The kid collapsed to his knees, curled over and holding his abdomen.

Then the other four all ran at Piper at once. Barry grabbed him, threw him over his shoulder, and ran for it, taking great pains to both keep his feet moving at a plausible pace for an athletic guy and not drop his squirming captive. Superheroics had given him a lot of practice at this sort of thing, so he accomplished both.

He was tempted to chuck Piper in the bushes though.

Eventually he outstripped the kids, who must have decided a dented car wasn't worth this much physical exertion. They'd drawn a few odd stares from kids walking between the campus buildings, but that was all.

By the time Barry stopped running they were on a strip of grass near the river. He set Piper down and then dropped to his knees, pretending to be winded.

Piper sat in a graceless heap on the grass, glaring angrily at Barry. "You're an asshole."

"Piper, those _kids_ ," he was careful to emphasize the word, "were seventeen at the oldest. Even if they were repugnant little beasts, it's still irresponsible for grown men to wail on them."

"I suppose so. I…you're right, Barry. That emotion back there, that really wasn't meant for those little assholes." Piper scrubbed a thin hand through his hair and looked away.

'The Rogues,' Barry realized. Piper had already said his ex-coworkers had made digs at him over his sexuality. Even accounting for the fact that Piper was an emotional person, he'd still flipped out to a ridiculous extent over one derogatory word.

Though Barry had to admit, he hadn't enjoyed having the slur aimed his way either.

He shifted closer to Piper and rested a comforting hand on his back. "I don't think you're weak."

"Really. Well you're just about the only one."

"To be fair Hartley, you've been spending the brunt of your time with some pretty awful judges of character."

Piper smirked. "You've got a point. So…um, did my little hissy fit make you want to run screaming or…or are we still on for a second date?"

Honestly, Barry had seen that side of Piper before. If anything, it was refreshing to see that level of anger and indignation aimed at someone other than the Flash. "I'm still down for the second date. When are you free again?"

Piper grinned. "Hey, my schedule's wide open now. Just let me know when you're free."

"I can handle that." Barry held out his hand, and they climbed to their feet together.

Piper chewed at his lower lip, looking uncertain. Barry watched the action, feeling a sudden urge to take that glistening pink lip between his own and soothe it with his tongue.

'Whoa, just…just whoa.' He needed to get a grip on this, or his damned lust was going to make him do something…unbecoming a gentleman. And Piper wanted to date a nice guy. He'd never dated one before, and he really deserved it. Barry wanted to do that for him.

However, he was starting to really look forward to when he no longer had to be such a nice guy.

"Barry, um, I'm-I'm sorry. I'm really sorry I'm the one who came over to talk to you at the bar, because you've been so good, and you're looking after me and being patient even though I'm such a pain in the ass. I'm really sorry I grabbed your attention instead of letting a nice, well-adjusted guy help you find your way into the community. You really don't deserve me."

"That's quite a speech from the man who just tried to take on five burly teens by himself."

"You would have helped."

Barry grinned. "I certainly wouldn't have let you get hurt. Now Hartley…where'd all your confidence go?"

"It's…a bit wobbly lately. Maybe it'll clear up when I'm settled into the new civilian life."

"I hope it does. Because I, for one, am very glad you decided to talk to me that night." Barry brushed his lips over Piper's temple, then took his hand and started walking him back towards the campus, and the street where his car was parked.

They didn't say much during the drive back to Piper's apartment. Piper kept shooting covert looks at Barry, and whenever he caught him at it Piper broke out into a wide, beautiful smile.

They shared one more heated kiss before Piper finally climbed out of the car. He almost fell onto the curb, taking a moment to get suddenly weak legs under him.

Barry felt inordinately pleased with himself when he drove away from the flushed young man.

* * *

 

Piper still felt a bit ditzy and short of breath as he walked up the three flights of stairs to his apartment building. He unlocked his door, tossed his keys into the bowl on the table, walked into the main room without removing his shoes or redoing the locks, and flopped onto the couch.

"So…I'm dating the Flash."


	5. Chapter 5

The first night Piper had seen Barry at the bar he hadn't had any suspicions about the man. He'd found him vaguely familiar, and had seemed to answer that nagging feeling when he realized the man was a police scientist. Satisfied for the moment, he kept chatting him up while quietly checking him out (he didn't want to frighten the guy who was only putting a toe out of the closet, after all).

The second time he hung out with Barry at the bar he _knew_ he knew him from elsewhere, and it wasn't from casual contact at the police station. Piper was damn sure he'd never spoken to a police scientist at any great length, but there was something really familiar about Barry's voice. Maybe he'd never heard that exact intonation before, but he'd heard the voice. It took him half the night to form his vague suspicion, but once it was formed he couldn't find anything to dispute it.

The man was the proper height and build. He had the voice. Was he really…

Had he been flirting with his arch-nemesis?

It was possible, but Piper decided not terribly likely. He still felt safe flirting with Barry (who really was way too nice to be the self-righteous douche in red spandex Piper was more familiar with), and when Barry offered to give him a ride home he even started swooning a little. So when Barry asked Piper what he thought of the Flash, he felt perfectly safe giving an honest answer. The look on Barry's face shook him a little.

Barry looked honestly surprised, and even uncomfortable with what Piper had to say. Which, when he thought it over later, was just odd. Piper was one of the Flash's Rogues; it was pretty much a forgone conclusion that he wouldn't like his arch-nemesis. But Barry had looked genuinely surprised, and even a little hurt at Piper's words. It was…unsettling.

When he'd next fought Flash in a Rogues' team up, and the scarlet speedster had behaved respectfully regarding James' fear of heights and then hauled Piper to jail without hitting him once, he'd all but confirmed it for himself. Barry Allen was the Flash, and the Flash was a lot more complicated than Piper had initially thought when he'd dismissed the man as an egotistical tool bag.

He still wanted a second opinion though.

After he broke out of jail he called James up and asked him to spy on him when he met Barry for coffee. After leaving the café he crossed the street and met James outside of the convenience store he'd been waiting at. "So did you see him?"

"That blond guy you were talking to?"

Piper nodded. "Did you get a good look at him?"

"Yeah…Piper, what's going on?"

"I'll talk to you about it later. Not here."

James nodded and took off. Piper went back to his apartment and opened his living room window. Twenty minutes later James crawled in, shut off his air walkers, and sat down on the couch. "Alright dude, what was that about? Who was that dork you were meeting up with?"

Piper's brow furrowed. "Barry's not a dork."

"He dresses like his mom still picks his clothes out for him. And yes, I'm saying this while wearing vertically striped pants and a bright purple t-shirt, but just because I choose to ignore fashionable clothing doesn't mean I don't know what it looks like. Your new boyfriend's a dork."

Piper's face colored. "He's not my boyfriend."

James smirked. "That sounded like a 'he's not my boyfriend yet' to me. You like this guy, don't you?"

"Was it that obvious?"

"Your body language in the café was a wee bit 'take me now'. Now why'd you want me to spy on him?"

Piper chewed his lip. If he was wrong (and he still couldn't quite believe there was a possibility he was right), James would never let him hear the end of it. He'd tell all the Rogues, and they'd never stop giving him shit. There wouldn't be a work conflict involved with dating Barry anymore, because he'd never be able to show his face to the Rogues again.

"Um…I think he might be the Flash."

James regarded him with an expression that looked almost painful in its intensity. His eyes narrowed, his mouth dropped open, and he titled his head to the side as he puzzled it out. "You think…the Flash is gay?" He broke out into a wide grin.

Piper glared at him. "Would it be funny if he was?" he asked in a deadly tone of voice.

James snapped his mouth shut and quickly schooled his features into an expression devoid of mirth. "Not at all…sorry Hart. You know my default mode is homophobic bullshit without you to knock some sense into me."

'And that knocking sense into you doesn't work when we're in front of other homophobes' Piper thought bitterly. James was a pretty good friend as long as they hung out by themselves, but when they were around the other Rouges he couldn't be counted on.

Piper quickly related his two previous encounters with Barry, and then pointed out how some of the Flash's odd behavior during their team up could have been in reaction to Piper's conversation with Barry. "Plus…they look alike."

"Hard to tell around that cowl. But yeah, same height, and this Barry guy looks all muscle-y underneath his nerd suit."

Piper smiled dreamily, thinking back on how it had felt to dance with the guy. "He's got a great body…"

"Can you try to look a little less gay right now?"

"Can you try to be less of a jack ass?"

"No, so we should probably just keep the conversation going. I'm not sure if the guy's the Flash…but I suppose I can't rule it out just yet. I dunno dude. Maybe. But if he was the Flash…do you really think he'd flirt with _you_?"

Piper frowned. "I wouldn't have thought so but…I mean, he was really uncomfortable when I first started talking to him. And he's been pressuring me to reform-"

"Whoa, whoa, _whoa_! Time out! You said nothing about this douchebag trying to seduce you into quitting the Rogues!" James shot to his feet, a look of outrage on his expressive face.

"Um…seducing me is pretty strong for what he's actually been doing. He's quite shy. It's charming." Earl's idea of flirting had been goosing Piper while suggestively offering him a flute to play. Piper much preferred Barry's tentative, gentlemanly advances.

"Uh huh. Well that friggin' tool is not allowed to make you quit. Seriously Piper, I won't have it. You're my buddy. I'm not giving you up without a fight."

Piper could only stare at James wordlessly, so the Trickster went on a five minute rant in which he heavily verbally abused Barry while talking about how much of a kick ass supervillain Piper was, and how much he would be missed if he quit (which Piper doubted was strictly true, but then again, James seemed to care about him more than he'd expected). Finally, Piper regained the power of speech.

"I…didn't think any of you would really notice if I quit."

"Course we would." James sat down next to him on the couch wearing an expression of concern. "You've been pretty down on yourself lately, huh?"

Piper laughed bitterly under his breath. "And here I thought you were perceptive. I've _always_ been down on myself."

"Yeah, well I mean it's kind of amping up lately. And quit it. You're a cool guy."

"Well thank you."

"Um…if you do reform, which I still think would be a big hairy mistake, but if you did want to ruin your life like that…could we still be friends?" James asked in a small voice.

"Absolutely," Piper answered, feeling a warmth spread through him at the genuine smile on his face. Apparently he and James were better friends than he'd thought. "I'm really thinking about it. I'm not…I'm not exactly happy with the supervillainy."

"I think supervillainy's a hoot. But yeah, you usually look pretty miserable when we team up with the other guys. They all pick on you."

And James did too, as long as everyone else was listening. "Yep. They pick on me, and it's because I don't fit in. I have different goals from you guys."

"My only goal is to make the Flash sweat. And, y'know, to steal enough to get by."

"Mm. Well I actually want to do some good in the world-"

"And you picked supervillain for a profession?"

Piper rolled his eyes. "I decided to work outside the system. But Barry's made me reconsider my beliefs. Maybe I could get more done if I played by the rules. It's just so frustrating. I mean look at the system the Flash and all his cronies prop up. As a gay man, it's not like I have equal protection under the law anyway. An employer could fire me at any time and I couldn't call them on their discrimination. I can't get married-"

"Would you want to?" James asked, pulling a face.

"Maybe someday. I'd certainly like the option."

"Kay, I can see that. Come to think of it, I'd damn well want to get married if someone told me I couldn't. But still…reforming's a pretty big change."

"Yes it is."

"Is this guy worth it?" James pressed.

Piper shook his head. "He's still mostly a stranger to me. I like him, yeah, but I wouldn't reform for _him_. I'm thinking about it because I really want to. And if I happen to get a date with a hot blond out of the equation then that's all the better for me."

"Yeah, we blonds are pretty awesome. If it makes you happier then go for it. Just, y'know, stay in touch."

Piper nodded, and returned James' bright smile with a wobbly one of his own. His obnoxious friend put his airwalkers back on and was starting for the window when he suddenly turned around and fixed Piper with an uncharacteristically serious gaze. "What are you going to do if he is the Flash?"

Piper frowned. "I have absolutely no idea."

"Yeah, me neither." Then James took off out the open window and left Piper alone in peace to brood over his impending decision.

* * *

 

Piper decided to give reforming a test run by avoiding the Rogues (excluding James, as long as he wasn't in the Trickster costume) for a week. It was a really sucky week.

The first night was okay. Piper hung in and worked on some projects he'd been putting off. He reorganized his CDs, a task that always needed to be redone as his music collection grew, then he finished off a few new pipes he'd been working on for over a month, watched a documentary he'd taped but never got around to, and read a few chapters in his latest book. He fell asleep on the couch, and woke up the next day to his lack of day job and no real chores.

He read a little more, then went grocery shopping even though he didn't really need to yet.

That night he started calling his acquaintances, but the only people interested in hanging out on a Tuesday thought "Henry" was calling for a hookup. He wasn't, so he stayed in and read some more.

By Wednesday he was bored out of his mind and sick of reading. Thursday he managed to finally teach himself that Rachmaninoff piece he'd tried to learn back in high school, and by Friday morning he was coming up with clever cat names.

That night, when he went to the club to meet Barry he went with the intention of telling him that he'd decided to reform and they could turn this meet up into a date if he was ready. He was a little thrown by Barry's coldness though (and surprised it was coldness and not shyness, which had been the case with the man's reticence up until then). He was still wondering what he'd done wrong when Barry's friend swooped over and started flirting with him.

Barry's friend was a refreshing change. He was talkative, for one, and incredibly charming. And there was no hesitation with him. He was very clear about what he wanted. Even though Piper thought it was probably a bad idea, after dancing with Hal for a little while he followed the guy to the backseat of his car.

Piper hadn't lied when he'd corrected Barry's impression about him being a slut. Casual sex really wasn't his thing. But Hal was saying all the rights things, and Piper's confidence had been shot to hell lately. He hadn't had a decent date since Earl went to prison, and the rebound relationship he'd tried just after it had flamed out horribly. It was nice to have someone tell him he was hot, and then kiss him like he believed it.

He tried to tell himself that making out with Hal in a parked car wasn't necessarily an invitation for casual sex. He told himself that while Hal was leaving a trail of wet kisses on his neck and whispering in his ear about how fucking sexy he was. Piper started realizing what a liar he was when Hal got a hand down the back of his jeans, down his underpants, and started groping his bare ass.

Piper let out a small whine, then he awkwardly tried to pull away from Hal, which didn't work very well as the man's hand was still down his pants and his jeans were pretty tight. They were just barely loose enough for Hal's hand to fit, so when Piper moved he ended up pressing Hal's hand closer to him, which sent a couple of the gorgeous man's fingers between his cheeks.

If Piper's face hadn't already been flushed from the makeout session _that_ would have turned it magenta.

"Everything okay gorgeous?" Hal asked, voice a bit husky and breathless. He had the greenest eyes Piper could ever remember seeing, and besides that he was just hot. Movie star good looks, thick brown hair, a body to die for, and if that erection digging into him was any indication the man was hung. Men like Hal didn't normally spend more than ten minutes in the club before they left with whoever they wanted. If Piper had designed his ideal casual sex partner he couldn't have done a better job.

And yet…

"I'm sorry Hal, but I don't think I can do this."

"Hey, that's okay. Piper, don't worry about it. I'm not going to pressure you or anything. I just thought, well, I mean…you _seemed_ pretty willing." Hal managed to squeeze his hand out of Piper's pants and they were able to sit up. Piper was still between Hal's legs, but he wasn't pressed against his chest anymore. "You okay?"

Piper was breathing pretty hard, but it was nerves. He really wasn't okay. "I'm fine, I'm just…" Just considering tearing apart his life and rebuilding it from the ground up for the second time in a few short years, and all because of a shy smile and sincere blue eyes. "I can't do this with you."

Hal gently tilted his chin up so that they were looking eye to eye. That was a mistake.

Freakishly green eyes. Oh they were beautiful. Piper momentarily forgot what he was so upset about.

"Is it Barry?" Hal asked. "Is something actually going on between you two?"

"…I think I'm just realizing now how much I want there to be. And if I sleep with his friend…I'm sorry. I'm really sorry Hal."

"Hey, it's okay. Piper, don't worry about it. I just didn't realize you were hung up on him. It's fine. Believe me, I'm not offended." If anything, he seemed terrified that Piper was going to start crying or something. "Just calm down, and when you're feeling presentable we'll go back inside. You can find Barry, and I'll find my own company for the night. No harm, no foul."

"O-okay." Piper pushed himself further away and Hal reluctantly sat up, curling his legs closer and giving Piper some space to breathe. After a minute or so his face started to feel cooler. He finger combed his hair into some semblance of order, taking pains not to look at the gorgeous man (who was well out of his league) that he was rejecting.

"So…do you mind if I ask what your intentions are with Barry?" Hal asked.

Piper stared at his feet. "I don't know. Whatever he'll have of me, I suppose."

"That's not a great answer, kid. Are you looking for a commitment or a night?"

"I…I don't know. I don't even know if he wants any of it. Why are you asking me anyway? You're his friend, ask him. Then maybe one of you can clue me in." Piper climbed out of the car and all but ran into the club, leaving the striking older man looking horribly confused.

While he was getting his coat he glanced at the bar and saw Barry. Piper walked a bit closer, careful to keep out of Barry's line of sight. He looked miserable, and he was muttering dejectedly under his breath.

It was hard to hear him around all the other noise in the club, but Piper strained his superhearing to its limits until he could make out the disgruntled little mumbles, such was his curiosity. "Green effing Lantern…course he picked Hal…why wouldn't he pick Hal…No one picks Flash over Green slutbag Lantern."

Piper turned on his heel and walked home without another word to anyone.

* * *

 

Piper spent another week teetering on the verge of adopting a menagerie of pets (he'd finally decided against cats; he liked rodents too much to adopt a predator, so he was looking up info on rats, guinea pigs, and ferrets) while also trying to process that his current crush was definitely his arch-nemesis. Even though he'd suspected it, it was quite another thing to have it verified.

It was just so difficult to reconcile. Barry Allen quietly listened to what he had to say, wearing a distant smile and replying with thoughtful comments of his own. Barry did thoughtful things, like paying for Piper's drinks and making sure he had a safe way home.

The Flash beat the snot out of him, mocked his pain, and dragged him to jail. The Flash indiscriminately stopped his thefts without bothering to look into just what Piper was doing, what he usually spent weeks meticulously planning. More than once he'd kept Piper from robbing a corrupt, corporate pig who exploited their workers just shy of nineteenth century work conditions, thus destroying his plans to Robin Hood the goods to a needy shelter or soup kitchen that would then have to shut its doors for good. The Flash didn't care why people did what they did; he just cared about his own image.

It was impossible for Piper to reconcile the two (though he didn't have as hard a time believing a shameless flirt like Hal Jordan was the Green Lantern, but that was something else entirely).

Eventually he decided that he couldn't, and that it didn't matter if he ever did. If he gave up crime then he'd be dating Barry Allen, and if that were the case then he'd never need to see him in his Flash persona again because the Flash was never going to run into the Pied Piper. Acting like that made sense, Piper called Barry and made arrangements for their date.

When he got home, still short of breath from the best goodnight kiss of his life, he wasn't so sure ignoring Barry's dual identity was going to work for him anymore.

"So…I'm dating the Flash."

He felt lost. The more he saw of Barry, the harder he fell. But it had been a cherished goal of his for the last three years to punch the Flash in the face, and while seeing the guy without his cowl dulled that desire, it hadn't gotten rid of it entirely. It would just be so satisfying to land a hit just once…

"This is never going to work."


	6. Chapter 6

Barry stared at his phone, trying to puzzle out if it was too soon to call Piper.

He'd never been very good at timing these things. Luckily for him, Iris hadn't cared much for gender roles, and she'd been more than happy to call him herself whenever she felt it was time for another date. She'd always been incredibly accommodating of his shortcomings (except tardiness; she drew the line at tardiness).

He was still trying to figure out if two days was too soon when the phone rang. Startled (even though he'd been staring at it), Barry picked up. "Hello?"

"Hey Barry. What's up?"

Of course it was just Hal. "Not a whole lot. Well, I mean a lot's going on at work, day job and the other one, but at the moment it's pretty quiet. What are you up to?"

"Trying to get an obtuse friend of mine to clue me in about his date. How'd it go with the cute red head?"

Barry felt his face flush. He sat down on his couch as he thought about how to answer that one. "It was…overall it was pretty nice."

"Overall? What happened? You didn't put that bow tie back on, did you?"

Barry scowled. "No, I didn't put the bow tie back on. It was just kind of awkward at a few points."

"Oh. Well that's normal."

Barry was pretty sure throwing rocks at moving cars, brawling with teenagers, and then running from them wasn't normal first date awkwardness, but he didn't really want to talk about it so he let it go.

"Are you seeing him again?" Hal asked.

"Yep. Not sure when though. Um…how's it going on your end? Have you met a fella you liked yet?"

Hal took a moment answering, and Barry frowned. "I've met…one or two fellas I've liked."

"Oh jeeze Hal…how many guys have you slept with?"

"Since we last talked or overall?"

Barry scowled. "You and Ollie are still getting regular blood tests, right?"

"Of course we are. And I promise; I'm using protection like a good little boy."

"Okay then."

"So have you slept with your guy yet?"

" _Hal_ ," Barry yelped. "We've been on one date! Why would you even ask that?"

"Because I'm curious," Hal answered with a healthy dose of facetiousness in his tone. "Well when you're ready, I bet it's going to be fantastic."

"…really?" Barry wasn't so sure himself. He'd thought about it often enough since he'd admitted to himself that he was attracted to Piper, but only about half of his fantasies of seduction and sex ended well. He'd never been terribly adventurous when it came to sex, and there was a lot he didn't know even about heterosexual activities. He wasn't sure he'd be very good at pleasing his partner, and maybe it was a carryover from the antagonistic and competitive relationship he'd had with Piper so far, but he _really_ wanted to impress the guy. The thought of disappointing a former Rogue in bed was just mortifying.

And from what he understood, fellas couldn't fake it to make you feel better.

"Yeah, I'm sure it'll be great," Hal continued obliviously. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I haven't sworn off the ladies or anything, but sleeping with guys is fucking fantastic. Seriously, the way these men touch you, the way they gauge your responses…I mean, it's wonderful. I've been having some of the best sex of my life."

"Uh huh…" Barry muttered, wishing Hal would talk about something else. He turned on the TV and switched to the news, just in case someone started a rampage downtown that gave him an excuse to end the call early. Grodd going nuts in downtown Central would be convenient (of course the stupid gorilla never timed these things in Barry's favor).

"Plus that Piper kid's an amazing kisser. And he's really responsive too."

'Oh great,' Barry thought bitterly. 'Remind me again how you made out with him after ditching me, because that was fabulous, is what that was.'

"And since you're being a gentleman about this…I just bet it'll be better when there are feelings involved. I haven't found anyone for that yet."

Barry muted the TV, suddenly invested in the conversation again. He didn't like talking to Hal about his promiscuity (at this point it was almost more a matter of boredom than their contrary morality; Barry simply had nothing to add to a conversation about sleeping around), but he could certainly discuss relationships and unrequited loves. "Are you looking for a boyfriend?"

"Of course I am. Or a girlfriend; I don't intend to be picky. I'm not going to brood over Carol forever."

"I hadn't realized…" It was definitely a positive step. Hal was capable of monogamy, but he'd shied away from it after some terrible experiences. And it didn't seem like a matter of changing preferences, as Hal had claimed. It really seemed like he was shying away from deeper connections because he was damaged.

Barry had tried bringing that up once, and Hal and Ollie _still_ gave him hell for it.

"You've been treating this like you were just messing around," Barry said.

"Well sure, when I'm hanging out with you in Central. Not real practical to start a relationship with a guy who lives in a different state and doesn't realize I can cheat and travel the distance with my superpowers."

Barry hadn't thought of that. "But when you're in Coast you're looking for a commitment?"

"I dunno…some of the time. At any rate, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and the kid. Glad the date went well…or well enough for a second date. Any thoughts on when that's going to be?"

"Um…"

"You still need to call him, don't you?"

"I've been busy this week!" Barry snapped. At least that answered his question about whether or not it was too soon though (and he hadn't even had to ask).

"Can I trust you to pick out your own clothes this time?" Hal teased.

"I should hang up on you for that."

"And yet here you are. I should get going anyway though. Tom and Jim are coming by, and if the ring doesn't drag me out of the man cave we're going to establish, we might be able to watch the game."

Barry had been so busy with work and superheroics that he wasn't even sure what season it was anymore. "What are you guys watching? Basketball? Football?"

"…I have no idea, actually. But I'm looking forward to watching athleticism and violence surrounding whatever ball happens to be in play, and I'll be rooting for the home team. Oh Jesus, I probably should have asked. Knowing Tom, there's a chance we're watching soccer. I hope it's not soccer."

Barry laughed under his breath, said goodbye, and then resumed his staring match with the phone. After a bit more silent contemplation, Barry finally picked it up and gave Piper a call.

* * *

 

Barry hoped to God Piper wasn't punctual.

As he frantically dressed while attempting to simultaneously tidy up his apartment, he thought back on every interaction he'd had with the man, and decided that his death traps and master plans were usually timed incredibly well. He probably _was_ punctual.

Dammit.

Rather than try to find another dinner venue that would keep them away from familiar faces (Piper pointed out that it probably wasn't a great idea to frequent his hang outs either; some of the Rogues wanted to remain friends with him even though he was quitting, and they weren't overly fond of cops), they'd decided to just order a pizza and watch a movie at Barry's place for their second date. It had sounded harmless enough when he'd made the arrangements, but now that they were within five minutes of date-time Barry was starting to rethink the plan.

He managed to hide his dirty laundry, get his dishes in the dishwasher, and do a light dusting and sweeping, but he couldn't do much else in regards to cleaning in under five minutes, even with superspeed. Left on his own for clothing, he'd opted for a sweater and those black jeans he'd purchased to be his club clothes.

He placed a few pizza menus on the coffee table, pulled out a few videos he thought Piper might like, then he ran through the apartment one last time to make sure he hadn't accidentally left anything suspicious lying around (there were some Flash rings on an end table, but that would only be a problem if Piper noticed the lightning insignia on them; he still stuffed them in a drawer just in case). Satisfied that he wasn't going to accidentally blow his secret identity, Barry sat down to wait for his guest.

After a few minutes (that felt like hours to a tense speedster), there was a hesitant knock on the door. Barry went to open it, and found Piper waiting for him with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his baggy coat, a warm smile on his face. "Hey. I tried to run a little late for you. How'd I do?"

Barry glanced at his watch. "Two minutes."

"Oh. Well I actually got here early, so I was sitting on the sidewalk for a bit." He kicked his boots off by the doorway, shrugged out of his coat, and took off the green knitted scarf he was wearing. He still had a satchel with him, but he held on to it as he stepped into the apartment.

"You didn't have to do that."

Piper smirked at him. "I figured you'd be getting ready up until the last second, considering what you said about always being late."

"Well yes, that is true. But you still didn't have to wait outside in the cold." Barry took the coat and draped it over an armchair. He waved Piper over to the couch and indicated the menus. "What kind of pizza do you like?"

Piper shrugged. "Anything meat free, really."

"You…don't eat meat?"

"I can give you a humanitarian lecture about preventable deaths from hunger and cattle feed grain redistribution if you like, but most people prefer to just skip it and accept that I don't eat meat." He sat down on the couch and smiled cheekily.

"I…think I'll take your advice." Barry glanced at the menus with a frown. He usually only ever got cheese or peperoni. "Um..."

"This one looks good. Spinach and feta?"

"Sure. I'll call it in." While Barry was in the kitchen ordering their pizza, Piper unpacked some of his own movies from his satchel.

They were all musicals. Really, Barry guessed he should have expected that.

Barry put his own movies away, more intrigued by what Piper had brought, and they ended up settling on a bizarre (and somewhat cruel) parody of Fantasia called Allegro Non Troppo. The movie didn't really hold Barry's attention (and neither did the food when it arrived; he didn't trust that white crunchy stuff Piper insisted was a kind of cheese), but that was fine because his companion certainly did.

Barry liked looking at Piper's face under normal conditions (well, since meeting him at the bar anyway; the sadistic supervillain cackling expression hadn't done a thing for him), but seeing his lovely blue eyes light up as he watched a movie he clearly enjoyed, and listening to him rant about the music and the jokes Barry wasn't getting, well, he just looked radiant. It was almost intoxicating.

He had so much passion. It was a comforting thought to realize that Barry never had to worry about all that creativity and energy going into a convoluted plan to ransom the city ever again.

About halfway through the movie, Piper set his pizza on the coffee table and regarded Barry with a wry smirk. "You haven't been listening to a thing I've said all movie, have you?"

"I…caught some of it," Barry said, with a self-conscious smile. "I was a bit distracted."

"By what?"

"You."

Piper frowned. "Me? The guy who picked out food you don't like for the second time in a row and is now forcing you to sit through a movie that's boring you? Are you distracted by how much I'm fucking up this date?"

Barry sat up, startled at the outburst as he'd actually been having a good time. "I liked the veggie burger-"

"You were freaked out by the corn kernels."

"I just didn't expect them to be in a burger patty. They still tasted fine. And I'm not bored, I promise. I'm enjoying myself." He gave Piper's hand a reassuring squeeze, and finally got a small smile out of him. "Aren't you?"

"This is really nice. Unless you're not actually having fun, because if you're not we can watch something else. I won't care, I prom-"

Barry stopped him with a kiss. Piper made a startled noise, then switched to a throaty purr as his eyes slid closed. Barry wound his fingers through the sleek red-gold hair he'd been dying to caress since the man had walked through his door and nudged him closer.

"Mm…so movie night still really means making out even when you're dating a nice guy?" Piper asked playfully.

Barry frowned. "I'm sorry, did you want to watch the-" And then suddenly the skinny musician was straddling him, and there was a tongue in his mouth, and Barry figured that meant that no, Piper did not want to watch the rest of the movie.

It provided unusual background noise while they kissed and groped each other though.

* * *

 

Hal had definitely been right about Piper being a good kisser. Barry had experienced that particular joy on his own a few times before the second date, but the make-out session confirmed him in his belief. The chemistry and attraction they'd both been feeling manifested wonderfully in kisses and caresses. Maybe having sex with Piper wouldn't end in horrifying embarrassment.

Barry wasn't really sure how many dates counted as a gentlemanly amount before sex in the homosexual community (and he wasn't quite sure he was ready for it either), but if the third date went well he was considering bringing it up. And he was starting to really care about Piper.

Unfortunately, try as he might, they couldn't seem to get a third date to work. Barry wound up accidentally vibrating himself into an alternate universe on Wednesday, and it took him until Friday to get back to Earth. Then there was a hostage crisis and two bank robberies Friday night, and Saturday Gorilla Grodd made one of his untimely rampages through town (because the blood thirsty monster had the _worst_ timing imaginable). When Barry called to apologize for out and out missing the date that night he got the feeling Piper thought he was intentionally blowing him off. The guy sounded angry, at any rate.

Feeling a bit desperate, Barry did something that he usually considered a last resort, and called his sidekick.

The boy sounded a bit groggy when he answered the phone, which was odd because it was only eleven thirty and usually Wally stayed up much later than that. He tried to sound alert when he realized who it was.

"Is everything okay?" Barry asked.

"Fine, yeah. Mostly. Just been having these weird dreams lately about some strange mystical chick. She's asking me to reform the Titans. Crazy, huh?"

Barry frowned. In their line of work, that might not just be a dream. "Are any of your former teammates having dreams like that, Wally? It might be worth looking into."

"I guess. Well what's up with you?"

"I was hoping to ask you for a favor."

"Oh, sure. What do you need?"

He needed Wally's blind hero-worship of the Flash to keep the kid from asking too many questions. "Can you come by Central City and keep an eye on it tomorrow? I need to take some time off for personal reasons, but every time I try the city winds up in peril."

"Yeah, supervillains always seem to know when you need downtime. I swear, they do it on purpose. But yeah, I'll cover you no problem. I'm really glad you picked me."

Barry wondered if he should tell Wally that he'd also talked to Ralph, and that the Elongated Man was also going to be keeping an eye on things. He decided against it. Clearly this gesture meant a lot to Wally. He exchanged a few more pleasantries with the kid, then hung up and called Piper. Piper still sounded surly about being blown off for so long, but he agreed to come over again for another pizza and movie night.

Barry hung up the phone, and tried to feel hopeful.

* * *

 

"He thinks I'm an idiot," Piper informed his empty apartment.

He'd just hung up with his pseudo-boyfriend, who'd just made another set of plans that he was probably going to break, because he was the fucking Flash and he thought Piper hadn't noticed. Even though they'd only had two successful dates, things were getting pretty serious between them pretty quickly.

Piper would really appreciate it if his former nemesis would tell him that he _was_ Piper's former nemesis. As far as he was concerned, the relationship couldn't really progress if Barry tried to keep that from him. It was a pretty obvious sign of a lack of trust.

He still showed up at Barry's the next day though, carefully dressed and armed with a selection of movies he didn't need to pay attention to. And he tried to keep his guard up; he tried to stay just a little bit icy. This was a man that had humiliated him for the better part of three years, and was currently keeping a significant secret from him.

This was an absolutely fucking gorgeous man who was tenderly brushing hair out of his eyes while he asked him how his week had been.

God dammit. Piper still hated the Flash, but Barry was so sweet...

And he'd bought a vegetarian cookbook (he hadn't been able to actually make anything in it yet, but he showed it off anyway and proudly proclaimed that he was reasonably confident he knew what went wrong during his practice veggie stew, and that a second effort would be edible). The sweetness was really throwing Piper off balance.

Piper put a movie in while Barry ordered them another pizza, and then he flopped onto the couch and waited. After a couple minutes Barry sat down next to him and squeezed his hand. "I got a spinach and mushroom this time. I'm sorry, but I really didn't like the feta."

"That's okay. You could have gotten half-meat. I'm not trying to convert you or anything." He'd chosen not to hear the rant, after all.

"It's fine. I don't mind being veggie for a night. So what are we watching?"

"I thought Fantasia was a pretty obvious follow up for Allegro Non Troppo."

Piper curled up next to Barry and let the man wrap an arm around him. Eventually he was going to have to have a talk with the guy about gender roles, and remind him that Piper was a man and liked to be treated like one every now and then. For the moment though, he'd be the small spoon for cuddles, and let Barry buy the pizzas and set up the dates. There was no ill-intention behind any of the feminizing behavior; the guy was just flustered.

"I'm sorry I couldn't see you all week," Barry said. "I did try."

He was tempted to make a glib comment about how taxing inter-dimensional travel could be (Piper had read about the Flash's temporary disappearance and ensuing adventures in the paper), but he wasn't supposed to know about that. He settled for nuzzling against Barry's neck with a contented sigh. "It's okay. We're here now, and this is nice."

It really was. So far this was turning out to be the best, most healthy relationship of Piper's life, and they were hiding so much from each other. It was really pretty sad.

But that could all be fixed later. Piper did his best to enjoy the pizza, enjoy the movie, enjoy the cuddles, and when the movie was over and Barry still hadn't been called away for Flash business, he _really_ enjoyed a night in Barry's bed.

* * *

 

Later that night, Barry crept out of the room wearing only his robe and retrieved his phone from an end table in the living room. He dialed a number, and as soon as Hal picked up he whispered, "You were right about Piper. It was _fantastic_." Then, before his friend could answer, he hung up and went back to his bedroom.

Piper had used the two minutes of absence to sprawl in the center of the bed. His soft red hair was beautifully fanned around his head, and the low light of the moon and a few nearby streetlamps was playing marvelously well on his smooth, pale skin. Barry slipped his robe back off and crawled into bed next to him, then threw the blanket back over them. Piper instantly curled around him and tucked his head under Barry's chin. "Where'd you go?" he murmured sleepily.

"I just had to make a quick phone call. Go back to sleep, beautiful."

"Okay, sunshine."


	7. Chapter 7

Dating Piper was, as Barry rightfully expected, nothing like what he’d experienced when dating Iris. And it wasn’t just obvious things, like that the sex was more satisfying now that Barry was dating a member of the sex he was honestly attracted to (though that was probably his favorite part), or its corollary, that Barry was more confident and active about their sex life now that he enjoyed it.

He and Iris had had a very set dynamic. Though he had loved her (and always would, regardless of her gender), they’d fought a lot. Iris had been a very sarcastic person, and sometimes her teasing just got under his skin. She was usually irritated with him over something; she most often bothered him about his tardiness, but it was usually a convenient trait to pick at when something more important was bothering her. Maybe she’d just realized Barry wasn’t entirely happy with her and understood why before he did. It wouldn’t have been out of character. Iris was perceptive and Barry usually avoided self-reflection.

At any rate, though Piper liked to tease, his banter was much lighter in tone (not when he was in costume, obviously, but that wasn’t an issue anymore). So far they hadn’t had an honest to God fight over anything yet.

Back when Iris was alive, meeting her for a date usually meant sitting through some kind of lecture on lateness and rudeness before they could relax and enjoy each other’s company. When Barry met Piper for a date he was usually greeted with some show of affection (subtle if they met in public but very enthusiastic and accompanied by gropes once they were in private) and told that he’d been missed.

It was a nice change.

True to form, when Barry showed up at Piper’s apartment for yet another movie night he was all but tackled by his enthusiastic young boyfriend. Piper wound himself around Barry and kissed him breathless, slamming him back against the front door and closing it with a loud bang.

Barry returned the kiss just as enthusiastically. Not being able to date publicly had a lot of downsides to it, especially where Barry was incredibly busy with his double life. Making plans to see Piper was a juggling act to begin with, and he had to cancel them about half the time (and woe to the Rogue that made him cancel when the Flash got to sucker punch them). However, when he did get the chance to see Piper again they made the most of every second they spent together, and that was nice in its own way.

“I missed you, Sunshine,” Piper murmured. Barry kissed his smile, coaxing his lips apart and teasing his tongue against Piper’s. Piper moaned, and it was a beautiful sound, like every sound Barry wrested from his musician. Piper leaned back with a chuckle, brushing his warm cheek against Barry’s. “We’re never going to make it to the couch like this.”

“Sure we can,” Barry answered. He grabbed the backs of Piper’s thighs and hefted him up. Piper obligingly wrapped his legs around Barry’s waist and allowed himself to be carried backwards.

Barry pressed him down into the couch cushions and leaned over his body. The sensible young man kept his legs wound around Barry, but his hands were moving, one of them playing with Barry’s hair. “It’s getting long,” he whispered, while Barry kissed a trail down his neck.

“Not as long as yours,” he answered, before dipping lower to suck a spot on Piper’s collar bone that made him gasp.

“Mmm…I can cut it if you’d rather…been kinda meaning to…”

“Don’t.” Barry grazed his teeth over the sensitive skin he’d just worked on, tenderly kissed the hickey, and then looked into Piper’s half lidded eyes. “You look good like this.”

“Not too womanly?” Piper asked.

Barry shifted his weight a little, and his thigh pressed against the growing bulge in Piper’s jeans. “I’m well aware you’re not a woman, and somehow I think I’ll be able to keep that in mind even if you grow your hair down to that fantastic ass of yours.” He rubbed his leg along Piper’s crotch, watching his eyes fall shut and his face flush as he rocked his hips against the movement.

Piper buried his face against Barry’s neck, panting wetly as he ground harder and harder. “Love hearing you swear,” he moaned. “Wouldn’t…nnm, wouldn’t even say proper words for ass when I first met you.”

Barry grabbed Piper’s ass and squeezed hard, then used his grip to roll Piper against his leg more forcefully. “Your ass is a work of art,” he whispered, careful to annunciate every syllable perfectly. Piper’s breath hitched at that, skinny fingers scrabbling wildly at Barry’s back as he tried to bring them closer together, even though Barry was essentially crushing him into the couch cushions, and his hand was clenching so tightly over Piper’s rear that he was probably going to have a bruise in the shape of Barry’s hand on his beautiful white cheek.

It was situations like this where Barry really wished he’d shared everything with Piper, because superspeed would be good here. Barry wanted them both naked as instantaneously as possible, but as instantaneous was suspicious, he settled for leaning far enough from Piper to yank his shirt over his head. He pulled Piper into a sitting position and started clawing at the button and zipper on his jeans. Laughing, Piper wriggled his slender hips and slid out of the offending fabric once Barry actually did manage to get the pants open.

Barry made short work of his own clothes, and as he did so he watched Piper dig around on the floor for something. When he sat up straight again he was holding lubricant.

“I had a feeling we wouldn’t make it to a bed,” Piper said, and Barry couldn’t tell if he was blushing, or just red in the face from what they’d been doing so far.

“I haven’t seen you since Tuesday,” Barry said defensively.

Piper uncapped the lube and coated his fingers. “I know, an entire two and a half days. I figured you’d been climbing the walls. How do you want to do this, love?”

Again, superspeed would have been fantastic. Barry was going to bite his lip bloody holding back.

Instead, he took the time to push Piper forward onto his knees at human speed. Piper’s upper body was braced against the arm of the couch, and he looked back at Barry over his shoulder with amusement sparkling in his pretty blue eyes. “Alright then.” He reached backwards and passed the lube off.

Barry coated his fingers and greedily shoved one into Piper down to the knuckle. He used his other hand to take Piper’s lubed hand and wrapped them both around the younger man’s already dripping cock. They both pumped together while Barry worked him open with his other hand. Barry added a second finger, meeting very little resistance. Piper was good and distracted but not quite overwhelmed with sensation.

Barry vibrated his fingers a little, and Piper actually screamed.

Barry hurriedly pulled his fingers out and replaced them with his cock, hoping against hope that Piper hadn’t noticed anything suspicious. Then he was too distracted by sensation to even care as he drove into his lover. Piper met his thrusts, driving his hips back against Barry and slamming himself forward into their wet, sticky hands. He always had a way of calling the shots, of setting the pace, even though he rarely topped.

Barry let go of Piper’s hand so he could grab his hips, and then he changed the angle and he set the pace. He wasn’t blushing and inexperienced anymore. They’d done this together more than enough times for him to know what they both needed.

“Oh fuck…Barry, Barry keep…uhn…” Piper gave up on saying anything intelligible after that. With his hands braced around Piper he was able to force himself deeper, thrust more urgently as he got closer and closer…

He came with violent suddenness, shooting deeply into Piper’s warm, wonderful body. He fell against Piper and landed on his back, all sweaty, trembling dead weight.

It took him more than a few breaths to notice that the kid was still sporting an erection, and panting so hard it sounded like sobbing. Of course, his hand was trapped against the arm of the couch while still clamped around his cock, and that couldn’t have been pleasant.

Barry slid out of Piper and then pulled his lover backwards into his arms. Piper basically fell against him, pliant and breathtakingly beautiful in Barry’s arms. He pushed damp orange hair away from Piper’s neck so he could kiss that delightful column of throat while he wrapped his hand around Piper’s cock to finish jerking him off. It didn’t take long for Piper to come undone, and it was a wonderful new sensation to get to watch him like this, while Barry was still coherent and relaxed from his own pleasure.

Yeah, it had never been like this with his wife.

Barry licked his fingers clean while Piper recovered his breath.

“Let’s not move again ever,” Piper said in a breathy voice.

Barry rested his hand on Piper’s belly and trailed his fingers a bit to tug at the ginger happy trail. “Well, we’ll move when we’re ready to do that again, right? Otherwise it’s an excellent plan.”

“Ssh…cuddles. How can you have energy to be snarky after that?”

“Do you have any idea how incredibly beautiful you are?” Barry asked in a sudden fit of sentimentality.

Piper responded with a wobbly smile. “You…give me some semblance of an idea. I do seriously never want to get up…everything seems so perfect when I’m naked with your arms around me.” He closed his eyes and let out a leisurely sigh.

Barry kissed his temple, and then just blurted out the thing he’d meant to ask when they got around to an actual conversation. “Hey Piper…would it be okay if I introduced you to somebody?”

Piper turned a little in Barry’s arms, and the hand that had been stroking his belly fell on his hip instead as Piper’s cheek rested on Barry’s chest. His breath was hitting the hollow of Barry’s throat, and his long copper colored hair was tickling his nipple.

“Who is it? Somebody important, I assume?”

“Pretty important, yeah.”

He could just barely see Piper’s grin, despite the awkward angle. “I would love to meet whoever it is. I’d be looking to do the same, but…you know, circumstances. I don’t really have anyone to show you off to.”

Barry gently tilted Piper’s face up and kissed his forehead. “I’m sure you’ll find a way to fix that eventually, and in the meantime I think you’ll really get along with my nephew.”

Barry had been thinking for some time now that it would be nice to let some of the important people in his life know that he was in love again, and he couldn’t think of a better person to start with than Wally. He’d become incredibly close to the boy, to the point where even before he’d married Wally’s aunt they’d started feeling like family. And besides that, Piper wasn’t that much older than Wally. He could see them becoming friends.

“You have a nephew?” Piper asked. “I didn’t know you had any siblings.”

“I don’t,” Barry answered. “He’s…technically he was my wife’s nephew, not mine, but we’re very close.”

“Oh. Well if he’s important to you then yes, I’d love to meet him. Um…what are we going to be telling him?”

Barry took Piper’s hands in his and gave them a squeeze. “The truth. But I’ll talk to him first and make sure he’s…receptive. I’m really sorry to keep doing this to you Piper, but I think it’s best if this stays a secret for now.”

“That’s fine,” Piper assured him. “Believe it or not, I’m still not ready to tell the world I’m dating a cop either. I…still haven’t quite figured out what I’m doing with my life, but as I haven’t made a complete break with all of my old supervillain buddies it’s probably best to keep that tidbit to myself. I wouldn’t want my former coworkers giving you a hard time.”

Barry kissed the top of his head. “I think I could handle myself around them, but I do appreciate your concern.”

Piper’s lips quirked up into a wry grin. “Look, the Rogues probably seem like a joke to you guys thanks to the way the Flash always seems to pants us, but they’re not all as ridiculous as Rainbow Raider. And even the ones who play the fool, like Trickster, can be dangerous.”

“I know, Piper.”

“Well alright then.” Piper sat up and stretched out his back. “So my pretense for inviting you over was to watch a movie. Do you actually want to do that, or…?”

Barry pretended to think, then he lifted Piper into his arms and carried him towards the bedroom. Laughing, Piper slung his arms around Barry’s neck, kicking his legs in excitement.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

Wally was sitting on a park bench with a bag of junk food when Barry found him. The boy had just guzzled a huge sip of soda from a two liter when he noticed his uncle, and it looked like his sudden swallow might have been painful. “Uncle Barry! Hi.”

“Hello Wally.” Barry sat down next to him, smiling with fondness. “You’re looking well. Settling into the new team okay?”

Wally made an iffy motion with his hand. “Truth be told, we’re having some drama. But I think that’s gonna be the case whenever people like us get together.”

“Mm. Especially teenagers,” Barry said with a nod. “Not to say that the League doesn’t have drama, but I imagine it would be worse if those personalities were still in development.”

Wally smirked. “Now I’m trying to imagine Batman as a teenager.”

Barry laughed. “That is hard to picture.” Most of the time it seemed like Bruce had just sprung forth from the shadows one day, fully formed and complete as an emotionally damaged but brilliant protector.

“Do you think it’d be okay if we talked for a little while after I’ve met whoever it is you want me to meet? I want another ear for this situation I’m having with one of my new teammates.”

“Of course.”

Wally smiled, looking relieved, and then he tore into a bag of pretzels. “So the way you were talking on the phone…this isn’t a new girlfriend, is it?”

“Kind of,” Barry admitted. He took a deep breath, and tried to remember all of the encouraging stories Piper had told him about coming out of the closet. Of course, none of the encouraging stories had come from Piper personally, but acquaintances of his. It was hard to forget that when he’d done it, it had ended with him living out of his car until he turned to supervillainy in an act of desperation and rebellion.

“Hey, you don’t need to look so scared. It’s been almost a year since Aunt Iris died. I mean, it still sucks, but…you’re allowed to be happy again. I’m glad that you’re getting ready to, y’know, move on. Kind of. Whatever this phase in your grieving is, I’m happy for you.”

Well that was a good start. Barry took a deep breath, trying to find encouragement in Wally’s open and trusting young face.

“Okay, well that’s a relief, actually. Because I did meet someone and…they’ve become really important to me very quickly. But there’s something you need to know about them first, Wally. I can’t, um, other people aren’t to know about this.”

“A secret affair? She’s not married, is she?” Wally teased.

“No, nothing like that. But I do need you to promise not to tell anyone. I’ll tell people when I’m ready, and you’re the first person to know.”

“Wow. Really? You picked me?” The boy looked dumbfounded.

“Well yes. Wally, you’re exceptionally important to me.” Barry was surprised he needed to say it.

Wally was grinning from ear to ear. “You are to me too, but I dunno, sometimes I just feel like a stupid tag-a-long. Or, y’know, an obligation.”

“Don’t be silly. You’re _family_ , Wally.”

“Alright, well yeah, of course I’ll keep your secret. Now what’s up with this girl and where is she?”

As Wally spoke, Barry caught sight of Piper ambling towards them. He looked hesitant, but relieved when Barry made eye contact with him. Barry held up his hand and Piper nodded. He put his hands in his pockets and pretended to be considering the flower boxes at the entrance of the park.

“Wally, um…part of the reason I’m not telling everyone about this, um, person right away is because…he’s a he.”

Wally’s eyebrows shot up his head. “You’re dating a dude?”

“…yes.” Barry’s kneejerk reaction was to apologize, for some awful reason. He wanted to justify his feelings, but nothing came out. For a long couple of minutes (and they both had speed, so it was a _long_ few minutes) they both just sat there so Wally could process that his beloved uncle was gay.

Finally, Wally croaked something out. “Is he here yet?”

Barry nodded, and waved Piper over. “Wally, this is Piper.”

Piper stood in front of them as it wasn’t a terribly roomy park bench. Also, Wally’s bag of snacks was taking up a fair bit of space and the kid made no effort to move anything to accommodate Piper. Piper kept his hands in his jacket pockets and shifted nervously from foot to foot. “Hello Wally. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Hi…you look familiar,” Wally said in an accusative tone. “Your name’s Piper?”

Piper’s face colored a bit, but he maintained eye contact. “Not my given name, but yes. My real name is Hartley.”

Wally turned towards Barry. “Isn’t he a supervillain?”

“Not actively,” Barry said, surprised Wally recognized Piper as a Rogue. The boy rarely encountered his Rogues with him…

Then again, he had been president of the Flash fan club before he’d gotten his powers, and he had obsessively followed Barry’s costumed exploits for years before they’d even met. Right. This was going to be harder than Barry had expected.

“I’m in the process of reforming. Your uncle’s been quite the positive impact in my life,” Piper explained.

Wally still wouldn’t make eye contact with him. “Uh huh. Barry, is this supposed to be some kind of joke?”

“No, I’m certainly not joking. But I think you can see why it’s so important for you to keep our secret. As a police scientist, I’m not supposed to be involved with someone with a record.”

“Yeah, maybe there’s a reason for that.”

Barry’s face fell. Piper stepped to his side and gave his arm a bracing squeeze. “Would you like me to give the two of you a minute?”

“That…might be a good idea.”

Piper squeezed his arm again and then walked off. Barry watched him go, envying his lover’s outward calm, and then turned to face his brooding nephew. “Wally…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to let you down.”

“How could you fall for a supervillain? You’re supposed to be a hero,” Wally snapped.

“I…I didn’t get to know him that way.”

“Are you sure he’s not hypnotizing you? I mean really, since when have you been gay?”

Barry frowned. “Possibly for my entire life. I only started examining that part of myself a couple of months ago. He’s not hypnotizing me, I promise.”

“But you loved my aunt.” Wally’s voice was small and weak, pleading. “You guys were perfect together. I just can’t believe it was a lie.”

Drat. How could Barry have forgotten about that? Wally’s parents’ relationship had been dysfunctional and even damaging for the poor kid to witness growing up. Barry and Iris had provided the only model he’d even seen of a well-functioning relationship. This was a bigger blow to him than Barry had even realized.

“It wasn’t a lie. I love Iris dearly…but I can’t mourn forever. You were right before, Wally; I need to move on. And this is what I need right now.” Piper fulfilled him in a way he’d never felt before. Sometimes it scared him a little, but the last thing he wanted to do was give it up.

Wally crossed his arms over his chest, radiating insolence. “So he’s not hypnotizing you, _maybe_ , but he’s still taking advantage of you. You’re obviously still not over what happened to Aunt Iris, and he’s preying on-”

“Wally, stop it! This is hard enough without you jumping to all these ridiculous conclusions!”

Wally looked like he’d been hit. “How could you have loved Aunt Iris if you’re like that?”

“She’s the love of my life. But I’m not…” How had Piper put it the last time they discussed sexuality? “I’m not exclusively heterosexual.” After a few helpful discussions with Piper, Barry had concluded that his sexuality was a continuum leaning more towards gay (as sex with Piper excited him way more than the three women he’d ever been with), but that he was still attracted to women to some extent.

Frankly, if Iris miraculously sprang back to life he’d be in quite the pickle.

“Can you try to get to know him before you condemn us too harshly?” Barry asked.

Wally was staring sightlessly across the park. “I don’t know. I already know a little about him. Can you tell me more? How’d you guys meet?”

Barry told him about running into Piper at the bar. “It was incredibly uncomfortable, and almost turned me off my exploration entirely. I didn’t expect the first man to ever hit on me to be a supervillain.”

“Does he know you’re the Flash?”

Barry shook his head. “I need to tell him eventually, I suppose, but-”

“Suppose? If you’re serious about him then he should know. So you don’t love him then?”

Barry frowned. “I care about him.”

“How does he feel about the Flash?” Wally pressed.

Barry felt his stomach drop. “He’s…not a fan.” To put it mildly.

“Somehow I didn’t think he would be. Yeah, I’ll talk to him a little.”

“Wally…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disappoint you.”

Wally gazed into the distance, looking incredibly conflicted himself. “I don’t know what I think yet, so it’s a little early for an apology. This is frickin’ weird. I thought it was easy to tell if a guy was gay. You don’t act gay.”

“Piper’s been helping me understand the community better. Apparently there are plenty of gay men who don’t conform to the stereotypes. Most seem to be like Piper, though. He’s got a couple, but he’s not exactly flaming.”

“Ah. If he’s such a decent guy, why’d he become a supervillain?”

Barry was still piecing that story together, as it was a long one, and much more complicated than he’d expected it to be. He knew it was part financial desperation, but it was also anger, rebellion, and a way to affirm his identity by putting himself outside of conventional behavior. Basically, he’d turned to supervillainy because he’d been in pain and now he wasn’t.

“It’s…a long story, and quite personal. You should probably get it from him.”

“Fair enough. I’m gonna go talk to him then.” Wally stood up and started putting his snacks back in the shopping bag. Something of Barry’s feelings must have been showing on his face, because Wally gave him a small smile. “Hey, this doesn’t change anything between _us_ , okay?”

Barry tried to nod, but his breath caught in his throat and he felt himself biting back on nervous laughter. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. At least let me try to see what you see in the guy first.” Wally walked off in search of Piper, and Barry tried to remember to breathe as he watched his retreating back.

* * *

Barry ended up sitting on the park bench with Wally’s snacks for over an hour. He took a quick run back to his apartment to grab a book after the first twenty minutes.

Eventually Wally and Piper found their way back to the bench, deep in conversation and periodically bursting into laughter as they walked. It took Barry a minute to realize that Piper was telling a self-deprecating anecdote from his supervillain career.

Piper locked eyes with him for a moment, and Barry returned his smile before he even realized it. All his worries vanished on the spot.

The three of them got dinner together (Piper and Wally doing the brunt of the talking throughout), and by the time they left Wally at his car he and Piper had traded phone numbers.

“You know, I thought you’d get along, but the two of you really hit it off,” Barry observed while he and Piper walked to his own car.

Piper slid into the passenger seat and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. “He’s a good kid. A little abrasive, but it’s because of his openness and honesty. I can appreciate that.”

Barry got into the driver seat and pointedly buckled his seatbelt, then stared at Piper until he did his own. “Wally’s a great kid,” he said, picking up conversation again. “His aunt was…” he trailed off, unable to finish that sentence. He started the car and pulled onto the street.

“You know, I did actually meet your wife a handful of times. She’s well known to the Flash’s Rogues, and also very well regarded. I always liked her, anyway.”

“How did you get to know her?” Barry asked, surprised.

Piper’s face colored a little. “Um…don’t hate me, but I held her hostage once. I never hurt my hostages, ever, but it could be a handy practice and, well, anyway, she said to take her and let everyone else go, so I did.”

“She never told me about that,” Barry said, startled. It must have happened while he’d been away from the Cities in another dimension or something. “I can see that happening though, Iris bossing around the supervillain.”

“I think she could tell how scared I was. I was still a rookie at the time. We played cards until the police met my demands about a getaway car. I didn’t think to check the car over, of course, so they would have captured me anyway, but Captain Cold and Trickster showed up and gave me a hand. That was a terrible day. I didn’t live that disastrous botched heist down for months.”

“Was that the story I heard you telling Wally?”

Piper laughed. “No, I was telling him the one with the ostriches. Did you hear about that one?”

Barry had been there for it, but he was certainly interested in hearing the story from the villain’s perspective. “What happened?”

“Well, I’d just figured out how to put animals into trance, so I started setting them on the city, and then I sent them away again for a ransom. The first couple of times it worked beautifully, but I tried it one time too many. That’s the thing about battling with the Flash. The guy’s not as dumb as his macho posturing suggests, and once he learns your methods you’re fucked.” Barry bristled a little at that, but he kept his expression mildly curious. “So anyway, he figured out what I was doing and he busted me.”

“Well, if you keep doing the exact same thing…” Barry teased, hoping it sounded light and not defensive.

Piper slumped down in his seat with his arms folded over his chest. “The thing is, the asshole didn’t just bust me and turn me in. He let me get halfway through my plan _then_ he switched out my pipes. I was able to work a herd of ostriches up into a rage, but then I couldn’t calm them down again. When they came charging at me…” Piper shuddered. “It makes a good story, of course. I made it sound funny for Wally, but the experience of it was terrifying. I got into a real panic. Those birds are vicious when they’re ticked off, and their beaks are strong. I jumped up on a statue to try to get away from them and then there was the Flash, laughing at me and making me beg him for help…”

Barry frowned and thought back on the incident. He’d thought it was hilarious at the time; smug supervillain extorts money from the city, smug kid tries once again and winds up running from ridiculous flightless birds. He’d laughed his ass off telling the League about it.

Of course…it was probably very different if you didn’t realize you were completely safe the entire time. Because Barry knew he’d never let anything truly bad happen to the Rogues, but they probably didn’t realize that.

“I’m sorry, Piper. That sounds like quite the ordeal.”

Piper’s brow lifted slightly, his mouth forming an ‘o’ of surprise, but the expression was there barely long enough to register. His easy smile slid back into place and he snorted. “I’m just being self-indulgent. It actually was pretty stupid. I mean, a bunch of angry birds bit my butt while I sobbed at my nemesis. All fear the Pied Piper because he is _bad ass_.”

“Wait, they actually bit you?” Barry yelped. He’d thought the birds couldn’t reach Piper while he’d been clinging to the statue.

Piper looked at him blankly. “That’s why I was crying. Yeah, they bit me. Left some scars too. I’d, er, thought you’d have noticed the little marks on the backs of my thighs and my ass by now.”

Barry parked the car in front of his apartment and just sat there for a moment facing front with his hands on the wheel. He had noticed those scars. Of course he’d noticed them: Piper’s backside was one of the most captivating parts of his boy (well, along with his gorgeous legs, his tummy, his slender hips, his beautiful eyes…) But he’d always figured the scars had come from, well, something that didn’t have anything to do with the Flash.

He could have prevented those ugly marks.

“Barry, are you okay?” Piper asked.

Barry hollowly shook his head. “Sorry. I just…didn’t realize how you’d gotten those scars. That’s awful.” He felt sick from guilt.

Piper leaned over and kissed his jaw. “They’re all better now,” he murmured. “But you can kiss them if it’ll make you feel better.” He gave Barry a brief, affectionate nuzzle, and then he hopped out of the car. Still feeling a bit dazed, Barry followed him upstairs.

***

Piper let out a content sigh and snuggled against Barry. The young man was a wonderful weight against him; warm, relaxed, and utterly blissed out after an incredible orgasm. Barry reached down and gently kneaded Piper’s spectacular ass, which he’d paid special attention to during their love-making.

Piper shifted away from Barry enough to lean on his elbow and look him in the eye. Barry’s hand fell away from his body, but he placed it on Piper’s hip to renew physical contact.

“You know, Barry…if there’s anything you’ve been avoiding telling me, now would be an excellent time to say something.”

“Anything I’ve…”

Piper’s eyes hardened, which was not something Barry was used to seeing in the afterglow.

“Like, if there’s a particular reason you’ve been kissing and caressing certain scars of mine now that you know how I got them. If there’s any reason you have for feeling particularly guilty about that…now is the time.”

Barry returned his penetrating blue stare, initially thrown and unsure how to respond, but it only lasted for a few seconds. “How long have you known?”

“I might embarrass you if I told you. I was waiting for you to tell me.”

Barry frowned. “You can understand why I didn’t, right?”

Piper shrugged, and ended up leaning back even further. “Kind of. I mean, at first you probably didn’t trust me. But we know each other pretty well by now. Or, you know me, anyway. I have to wonder how much you’re holding back from me though.”

“It’s not like that!” Barry insisted. “Piper, you hate the Flash. You’ve made that pretty damn clear on a few different occasions. How could I tell you that I’m secretly the man you blame for so much of your misfortune?”

Piper bit his lip, then sat up and pulled the sheet over his waist. “I don’t hate the Flash. But I do resent the way you treated me when we were in costume.”

“I never meant to hurt you.”

“Oh please,” Piper snapped. “You never cared enough to notice. At least, not until we started sleeping together. Lucky for you, I happen to be ridiculously happy with Barry Allen. You should try to let some of his empathy and warmth into the Flash sometimes.”

Barry frowned and looked away, transparently hurt. “Once we got to know each other I did change my behavior towards you and some of your friends. But that’s because I knew you weren’t actually going to hurt anyone. I didn’t know that before.”

“I’ve never put innocent bystanders in harm’s way!”

“But you’ve bluffed. I didn’t know those were bluffs, Piper.”

Piper didn’t appear to have anything to say to that. He pulled the sheet tighter around his waist and stood up.

“Piper, are you...Hartley?”

Piper dazedly walked over to the window and leaned his forehead against it. It took Barry a second to notice he was crying, but as soon as he did he ran to Piper’s side and pulled him into an embrace he hoped was comforting and not abhorrent. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Piper asked with an incredulous laugh. He gave a small sniff and buried his face in Barry’s shoulder.

Barry wasn’t quite sure what to say, but after a moment’s thought he cobbled something together. “For making you cry, I suppose. And…for not being the man I pretended to be when we met. Hartley, please don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry. Just, just give me a minute.” Piper pulled away and wiped at his face with his hand. “I don’t even know why I’m crying. I’m the one who brought it up. I shouldn’t have…”

“No, I’m glad you did. I should have told you myself. I…” Barry stopped and licked suddenly dry lips.

Piper looked up at him, eyes wide and so watery blue, lips slightly parted, and breathtakingly beautiful. He looked really young, and frighteningly fragile. “What is it, Barry?”

“I just…I don’t want you to hate me. Any part of me. You’ve become so important to me. I just don’t want to lose you. I’m so happy with you, Hartley, and I’ve never felt anything like this before.”

“I’m happy with you too,” Piper said, but there was something off in his voice. His eyes weren’t quite focused, and even though he wasn’t crying, it looked to be a near thing. “I…I…I need to go. I need to go think. I’m sorry, I just can’t talk to you like this right now. M’too worked up. I’m not doing it right.”

Barry felt his insides go cold. “You’re doing fine. You can talk to me. It’s okay.”

“No it’s not. I just, just not right now.” Piper tried to turn away, but Barry grabbed his shoulder.

He needed to know what was wrong. Did Piper not want to be with him anymore? That hadn’t seemed the case. He’d agreed to meet Wally and he said he’d known Barry was the Flash for a long time, so it wasn’t just that.

“Let me go. Barry, please let me go.” Piper flinched out of Barry’s grip and started for his discarded clothes. Barry used his speed to put on his own pants, then he stood in front of Piper.

Piper jumped, obviously startled, and fell over with the sheet tangled through his legs. “Now, really? Now seemed like a good time for superspeed?”

“Well you know I have it so I don’t need to hide it anymore.”

“Superspeed is what you use to hurt and humiliate me. But go on and tell me that it’s okay to antagonize me with it when I’m telling you I need a little space.”

“Look, Piper, you’re scaring the heck out of me right now. It’s hard to give you space when we’ve just talked about such big things and you look like…like you’re not going to come back.”

“Oh.” Piper climbed unsteadily to his feet, still clutching the sheet to his waist. “No, that’s not it. I need time to think because I’m screwed up. I can’t process things at superspeed, you know. I don’t want to do anything that’ll scare you off.”

“You won’t.”

Piper smirked. “I’ve heard that before. Barry, I love you. Just give me a little time to put my head together, and then I’ll talk about whatever you want.”

It was the first time Piper had said those words to him. Barry wanted to take him in his arms, kiss him breathless, and make him say it over and over and over again.

Clearly that wasn’t an option though.

“Take as much time as you need. I’ll be around.”

“Unless you’re off in space or something,” Piper teased.

“Yeah, unless that happens.”

Piper kissed his cheek, got dressed, and left.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wally and Piper bond. Some issues are resolved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rushed this out before leaving for a gathering with my friends, so only half of it is proofread. Apologies in advance for any typos or choppy sentences. I'll give it a tweak when I get home tonight.

Piper desperately wanted someone to talk to.

After leaving Barry’s he’d walked aimlessly around Central with headphones on, which was usually enough to sort himself out when he got lost in his head. Musical introspection failed him, however, and after doing a few laps around his block he headed home in defeat, feeling just as wound up and anxious as when he’d left his boyfriend’s place.

When he got in he put on the most eclectic jumble of music he could come up with from his collection, then began pacing laps, this time around his living room instead of the neighborhood. It kept him from anxiously picking up his phone and putting it down again, at least.

He really needed to open up to someone, but he couldn’t without betraying Barry’s secret. But he needed to get his thoughts in order before he tried talking to his lover again.

Piper collapsed backwards onto his couch and glared at the ceiling. “God, I’ve made such a fucking mess of my life. I can’t even unload about my love life because I don’t have a fucking best friend.” The closest he had was James Jesse, and there was no way in hell he was handing him the Flash’s secret identity on a silver platter. As is, he’d done enough damage by exciting the colorful rogue’s curiosity on the subject.

And, dangerous secrets aside, James had an annoying tendency to stick his fingers in his ears and yell “no yucky gay stuff” in a sing-song voice whenever Piper tried to talk about his relationships.

Piper absently stuck his hand in his pocket and found the crumpled piece of paper Wally had jotted his phone number on earlier that afternoon.

Hm. There were all kinds of issues with talking to the man’s nephew about their relationship…but Wally definitely knew Barry Allen was the Flash, and it’s not like Piper really had another option.

He rolled off the couch, crossed the room, and snagged his cordless.

* * *

Wally was a bit surprised to hear from Piper so quickly, but he’d enjoyed the guy’s company and he was too curious about his uncle’s new boyfriend to say no to an opportunity to get to know him a little better. The fact that Piper promised to buy him a pizza only made the hangout even more appealing.

He ran to the address Piper had told him, surprised to find himself in such a dumpy looking neighborhood. Somehow, he’d always had it in his head that supervillains lived the high life. Then again, so far the Pied Piper was hitting zero of his expectations for how supervillains were supposed to behave. He was on the young side, he was really interesting and friendly, Barry really liked him (though that part was still a little weird), he told funny stories…

He answered the front door in music-note-print pajama pants and fluffy green slippers…

Yeah, it was probably for the best that this guy decided to reform. He didn’t seem like supervillain material _at all_.

“Hello, Wally.” Piper was trying to smile, but he looked a bit strained when he stepped aside to let Wally in.

The scent of gooey processed cheese was wafting from the living room. That was a good start. Wally followed his nose to the pizza, leaving his new friend to do up the locks that were probably depressingly necessary given where he lived.

“Are you going to have any?” Wally asked.

Piper shook his head. “I’m not hungry. Help yourself.”

“Sweet.” His instinct was to wolf the thing down, but then Wally caught himself and made an effort to eat at a normal pace. “So what’s up?”

Piper was certainly a lot more fidgety than he’d been earlier in the afternoon. Wally almost didn’t recognize the chill, seemingly confident young man his uncle had introduced him to. This guy looked like an absolute wreck.

“Before I get into anything…you’re Kid Flash, right?”

Wally choked on an overly ambitious bite of greasy cheese. He had to spit the barely chewed pizza back onto the paper plate and take a sip from a two liter of soda Piper had thoughtfully provided him.

“Are you okay? I’m sorry. I should have waited until you’d swallowed.” Piper jogged over to him and rubbed his back until he stopped coughing and spluttering.

“I’m okay,” Wally wheezed. “Shit. Barry said he hadn’t told you anything.”

“He didn’t. We’re kind of fighting about that right now, actually, because apparently he thinks I’m stupid. I had to tell him I figured it out ages ago and now…well, now that it’s out in the open things got a little…tense.”

Wally nodded. “I can see that. I am Kid Flash, by the way. Good call. How’d you figure that out?”

Piper flicked a ginger curl out of Wally’s face and rolled his eyes. “You people really don’t think much of your nemeses, do you?”

“Uh…sorry. Well, anyway, at least I can dispense with the charade of eating this pizza in a normal fashion. Last chance to grab a slice.”

“I bought it for you. Have at it.”

Wally devoured what remained, cleaned up the mess he’d made, and ran the box out to the dumpster and back in the time it took Piper to sit down on the arm of the couch.

“Impressive. That’s not how your uncle’s going to behave on dinner dates now that he knows he’s not fooling me, is it?”

“Nah, we can control ourselves and follow social norms. Besides, Uncle Barry’s _way_ better mannered than me.” Wally flopped back against the couch, crossed his feet at the ankle and stared up at Piper. “So why’d you call me over here? Considering you just got the big reveal, I’m kind of surprised I’m the speedster you’re talking to.”

“But I didn’t just get the big reveal. I gave it.” Piper started irritably tapping his hands against his knees. “He didn’t tell me, and I don’t think he was ever going to. It’s bothering the crap out of me and I…I called you because I have no one else to talk to about it. Well, I could be talking to Barry, obviously, but I like him too much to bite his head off over this. I want to scream at him and shake him by the shoulders and tell him what an inconsiderate asshole he is, but I also don’t want to scare him off.”

Wally couldn’t help it. He wanted to help it, because Piper looked really upset and he was a surprisingly cool guy so really, Wally didn’t want to offend him. But he burst into loud, obnoxious laughter anyway.

Then Piper hit him with a throw pillow. “That’s not funny, Wally!”

“Sorry!” He really wasn’t sorry. “It’s just…you sound kind of like Aunt Iris.”

Piper dropped the pillow, his face adorably scrunched up in confusion. “What?”

“Barry didn’t tell her either.” Wally sat up straight, ready to defend himself from further pillow attacks but it proved unnecessary. Piper was too flabbergasted by what he’d said to hit him again.

“But…but he married her.”

“Yep.” Wally shrugged. “Barry made her beloved, charming, and absolutely adorable little nephew his sidekick too. I mean, eventually he came clean, but Aunt Iris already knew. Kinda like you, actually. She was ticked off, but, I mean…that’s just how Barry is. He didn’t think she needed to know so he kept quiet until he changed his mind.”

“But…but how can he, I mean…did he not trust her? I mean, I just don’t see sitting on something like that. They were sharing their lives. That alone is grounds to let her in on the secret, but even more than that it’s just the decent thing to do. The Flash has some serious enemies. Most of us don’t take personal shots, but Kadabra, Grodd…that creepy reverse guy? They’d love to hurt the Flash through someone else. He should have told your aunt.”

“Piper, that’s part of the reason he didn’t,” Wally said, frowning. “The point of a secret identity is that it’s secret. The more people know, the more risk there is of the wrong people finding out. Barry doesn’t tell anybody, really. They have to get close enough to him to figure it out. So, y’know, don’t take it personally.”

“I’m trying not to.” Piper frowned. “I suppose this is the only thing about being a villain that was better. Everything was out in the open, because as soon as you get arrested the first time you’re automatically public.”

“You know, I never really gave that much thought before.” Wally frowned as he considered that. “Would you have kept your identity secret?”

“Most definitely,” Piper said, without hesitation. “Villains go after other villains sometimes too, you know. And I’ve got a younger sister…” He gave himself a little shake. “Anyway, as far as anyone knows I’ve made a full break with my family. My parents disowned me when they found out I was gay and I ran away from them. I haven’t seen my baby sister since she was in kindergarten. There’s no reason for anyone to take the trouble of going after them to get at me.”

“Wait, your family disowned you?” Wally repeated, horrified. He didn’t exactly have a great relationship with his parents, but at the end of the day there was still some connection there. In their own self-absorbed, erratic and irrational manners, he knew they cared about him. He couldn’t imagine losing even that little shred of affection. “That sucks! How old were you when they found out?”

“Eighteen. I was in my freshman year of college. That ended really quickly when I lost all financial support.” Piper quirked an eyebrow, regarding Wally with some surprise. “It’s…not an uncommon experience for a gay kid, actually. LGBT youth are statistically more likely to wind up homeless because of all the parents that give up on their gay kids.”

“Shit. No wonder Barry was so scared to tell me. I don’t think his parents would freak if they knew though. They’re way better than my folks. But if that’s, like, the norm for gay people, that their families turn on them and stuff, then that might be one reason why Barry’s kinda struggling and taking things slowly, y’know?”

“Mm. Plus I made it rather clear that I hate his costumed identity with a burning hot passion,” Piper said, flashing a self-deprecating smirk. “At first it was funny to drop in a bitter comment and watch him try to hide how uncomfortable or insulted he was but…yeah, I was probably shooting myself in the foot there.”

“Do you hate the Flash?” Wally asked, curious.

Piper shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know anymore.” He slid off the arm of the couch and landed in a graceless, petulant heap on the cushion next to Wally, crossing his arms over his chest. “I definitely used to, but falling sappily in love with his secret identity is kind of complicating that. All of the things I used to find so irritating or malicious in him have turned out to be naïve, simplistic, and charmingly goofy. I used to think that he was going out of his way to torture me in fights, but he really had no idea what he did to me.” Piper scowled. “I guess I was never as important to my arch-nemesis as I thought I was.”

“Piper, Uncle Barry has like twenty arch-nemeses. I don’t think you were even in the top five.” Wally realized he might have misspoken at the look Piper gave him, so he quickly backpedaled. “Which is a good thing! Y’know, because he’s dating you now. The top five are all unholy assholes. You don’t fall in love with guys like that.”

“Well he was the only superhero for me.” Piper gave a melodramatic affectation and clasped his hands together. Wally snorted, and the mood lightened considerably. “Actually, it’s nice to know that the Flash is a genuinely good human being. Receptive too. I could definitely work on explaining all the issues I have with his superheroics as they stand.”

“What are you even talking about, dude? Barry’s one of the greats.”

Piper’s answering scowl was one of the best expressions Wally had ever seen in his life. Unfortunately for him, it was followed up by a lengthy diatribe on grey areas, due process, civil liberties violations, and how the Flash only seemed to go after glory cases while ignoring all the good he could do on a smaller, community level. “The prick has actually hampered my progress in keeping a food pantry open in this neighborhood, and we damn well need it,” Piper complained, winding down from the looks of it.

Wally narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Hampered your progress how? Uncle Barry would never knowingly block an organization designed to help people.”

Piper was practically pouting. “The scores from my last few heists were supposed to go towards renovations and supplies. But again, he blocked me. So the evil corporations and corrupt banks kept their massive profits won from exploitation and misery, and the good people trying to help the needy couldn’t make rent and had to close their doors.”

“Piper, stealing is wrong.” Wally gave him a patronizing pat on the head. Piper ducked away from him and lightly whacked his arm.

“The people I used to steal from steal on a scale you can’t even imagine, kiddo.”

“Two wrongs don’t make a right. You need to find some other way to get at them. Maybe a way that’ll let normal people trust what you’re saying?” Wally grinned. “Y’know, when Uncle Barry said he was going out with a dude, not gonna lie, I wasn’t exactly thrilled. But the more I get to know you the more convinced I am that you two are going to be really good for each other.” Wally gave Piper’s arm a pat then stood up and cracked his back.

“What does that mean?” Piper asked.

“It means you’ll rub off on him a little and he’ll rub off on you a little and you’ll both be better people for it. I should get going though. Things have been kinda crazy with the Titans and I don’t want to stay away from the Tower for too long in case they need me. Plus you should definitely be talking to Barry instead of me. You think you’re ready for it?”

Piper gave a slow nod, then stood up to walk him to the door. “Wally, thanks for putting up with me. I know that can’t have been easy, but I really didn’t have anyone else.”

Wally made a dismissive motion with his hand. “Don’t worry about it. But thanks for getting Barry to come out of his shell again. He had a really hard time when my aunt died, and then he did this rebound thing with this Fiona chick that I just had a catastrophically awful feeling about. Thank God that didn’t go anywhere. But anyway, yeah. Aside from the nerves about the whole coming out thing…he seemed happier. Like, way happier than I’ve seen him in a really long time. So yeah, just try to keep that up.” Wally could feel his face heating up the longer he rambled. He scrubbed a hand through his hair and smiled nervously, feeling flustered.

Piper, on the other hand, looked ecstatic. He gave Wally a hug, taking him completely by surprise. “Oh wow, thank you for having so much faith in me. I promise, after I whap him upside the head for being an idiot about the identity business I will definitely put as much energy as I can into making him happy. Thank you so much, Wally. The fact that you’re being so supportive…I mean, it’s just…you’re a great kid. Thank you.”

Wally was sure his face must have been about as bright as his hair. He mumbled a goodbye, then before Piper could hug him again he took off for New York.

Well, the guy definitely had some _quirks_ , but overall Wally decided that he liked his uncle’s new significant other. It was going to be a completely different friendship from the one he’d had with his aunt, of course, but he really hoped he got to see as much of the new boyfriend as he had of his uncle's last love.

* * *

As bad as he’d always been with typical dating conventions, Barry was apparently infinitely worse at blow ups. He had no idea how long he was supposed to wait before he contacted Piper or how much space the guy needed. He went to bed without talking to Piper, and somehow managed to fall asleep despite the gnawing, empty feeling consistently reminding him that he’d screwed up.

The next morning he felt marginally better, but only because he’d concocted a million reasons why everything was Piper’s fault and not his.

“I mean really, he’s the supervillain, not me. I automatically have the moral high ground.”

God, if anything close to that came out of his mouth while they were actually talking Piper would have every right to murder him on the spot. Barry gave himself a little shake and tried to talk some sense to himself, though he was a lot more bitter and hurt than he had been the night before.

Unfortunately, his free time was interrupted before he got his head together. First he was called into work-work, which was then interrupted by superhero-work, and by the time he got home it was two in the morning and the message light was flashing on his machine.

“Darn it,” Barry snapped. He changed out of his costume and landed on the armchair next to his answering machine wearing sweatpants and an old t-shirt, with a box of dry cereal to serve as his supper. He hit the button and expected to be castigated by Piper for missing him. Instead, the familiar voice sounded sullen and apologetic.

“Hey, um…it looks like you’re busy. Sorry I took so long to…well, anyway, I should have expected something else to come up and take your attention. I’m free whenever. Like, whenever, whatever hour you’re free so…so you can call me or just come by. Shit, that’s desperate. I want to talk and I’m sorry and I’m ending this now before I-” Whatever he was going to say was cut off by the machine, possibly mercifully so.

He could just picture Piper leaving the message, starting off morose, and then irritated with himself, and then flustered and rambling. There was probably some pink tinging his pale skin, first in frustration and then embarrassment. Barry wanted to wrap a comforting arm around his shoulders and tell him it was okay. On his end, anyway, they were okay, and if Piper was invested enough to leave a message like that…

Feeling hopeful, Barry returned the Cheerios to his pantry, changed into more flattering casual clothes, and left for Piper’s.

* * *

It was late, and he was exhausted, but Piper couldn’t sleep because Barry had gone out to fight one of the supervillains who actually would kill him if he got the chance and the fight hadn’t wrapped up in time for the local news to give him the comforting confirmation that his boyfriend was still alive and well, and that a crazy psychic gorilla hadn’t severed his jugular and feasted on his warm, gooey innards.

Piper took a few deep breaths, and clenched and unclenched his hands a few times. He tried to think back to just a few weeks ago, when hearing that the Flash was fighting a dangerous opponent would have been met with a bored “meh.” Because the Flash didn’t lose. Barry always came home safe, generally not even badly roughed up, and ready to go out and foil someone else’s carefully crafted plans at the next available opportunity.

Sitting on the sidelines sucked ass. Piper wondered how Iris Allen had dealt with it.

He’d been expecting (well, maybe not expecting but certainly hoping for) a phone call in response to his horribly worded, embarrassingly mumbled message, and was therefore surprised to hear a knock on his front door. Piper ran to the front hall, undid the locks as quickly as he could, and flung the door open.

The next few moments were a blur of movement as Barry grabbed him, kissed him breathless, and then the next thing Piper knew his back was against his bed with Barry’s comforting weight on top of him. “You didn’t…leave the door open, did you?” Piper asked.

Barry laughed, then went back to dropping sporadic kisses on his throat and collarbone. Piper had lost his shirt to superspeed at some point too. “Closed and locked. Though really, a deadbolt isn’t all that secure considering where you live and your former profession.”

Piper sank his fingers into Barry’s hair and tugged so that he looked up. “And who I’m dating.” He couldn’t help but smirk. “I could count as your damsel in distress now, couldn’t I?”

That was the wrong thing to say. Shit, the last damsel had actually been killed. Shit-shit-shit.

“Barry, I’m sorry-”

“No, it’s…it’s not going to happen to you,” Barry said, and the conviction there did _things_ to him. No one had ever looked at Piper with that kind of intensity, that kind of…regard, he supposed. Like they’d care if something happened to him. It had been a long time since someone had gotten close enough that there was a chance they’d mourn over him.

Piper placed a hand on Barry’s chest and gently pushed. Taking the hint, Barry sat up and then helped him into a sitting position. Barry kept an arm braced around him though, mainting contact, and Piper dropped his head on his shoulder.

“I’m not going to let anything happen to you, to be clear,” Barry whispered, thinking Piper was still stuck on that. “As you’ve pointed out, I’m possibly too careful with my secret identity, so even if people realize you’re dating Barry Allen-”

“For which you’d get sacked.”

“They won’t realize that the Pied Piper is dating the Flash. No one’s going to hurt you to get at me.”

Piper leaned up and kissed the side of his mouth. “That’s wonderful, but actually Sunshine, I’m not all that worried. I’m actually pretty good at looking out for myself. You of all people know that I’m tougher than I look.”

“I know.” Barry stroked back his hair, a soft smile on his face. It was oddly exciting to have the Flash admit he’d been a formidable opponent. Then the smile faltered, some hesitance creeping in. “I’m sorry, Piper. For putting off the uncomfortable discussions, for hurting you…for everything. If I’d known everything I know now back when we first started doing battle, things would have been different. I promise. I would have helped you.”

“I know,” Piper said, and was surprised how strongly he believed it. He hadn’t even hesitated. “I’m going to try to let that go. The anger and resentment’s not helping me, so it seems stupid to cling to it. Besides…I’m kind of enjoying being wrong about the Flash.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. As it turns out, he’s actually a really fabulous hero, and a good man to boot. Even if he can be simple-minded, stubborn, and prone to oversimplifications sometimes.” He tightened his embrace on Barry, nuzzling against his neck and dropping kisses along his jaw. “And if he’s still mine, I guess that makes me pretty lucky, huh?”

Barry’s relieved smile looked almost painful. “Yeah, I think we both are.”

* * *

Barry was twenty minutes late for work the next day, since he hadn’t bothered leaving Piper’s bed and Piper didn’t have an alarm to set. He couldn’t regret the morning spent lounging with his lover though, and considering how long he’d carried the burden of grief and loneliness he even felt he’d earned the reprieve.

Piper spent the day in a pleasant daze, wandering through his apartment singing sappy love songs under his breath and making unlikely plans for the future. He knew full well that this was just another phase of the relationship, and that it would pass and they’d be confronted with more problems and issues, but at the moment he was content to smile, and daydream. He wanted this phase to last as long as possible.

Unfortunately, the Crisis had other ideas for the lovers.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crisis on Infinite Earths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh holy Jesus do I loathe Crisis on Infinite Earths. I like Infinite Crisis, I like the Crisis on Multiple Earths compilations, but nyargh! Marv Wolfman is just not my cup of storytelling. Love George Perez's art though. Anywho, the rest of the story should be written at a brisker pace from here, as I will no longer be rereading comics I hate for inspiration. Hope you enjoy it, and if you do please consider leaving me a comment :)

Barry disappeared a month before the Crisis hit.

It was the longest Piper ever remembered him being gone for. Of course he was nervous, but then, the guy _was_ prone to temporal displacement. It was in the nature of his powers. In fact, they’d already discussed it more than once. Piper pleasantly recalled sitting across the table from Barry in the man’s apartment, eating breakfast and chatting about alternate earths and timelines between bites of toast.

Piper didn’t actually know if a month was long or not, though it seemed it to him (he couldn’t remember ever being rid of his nemesis for this long a period back when he’d been a villain, at any rate). He damn well knew he was going to ask his boyfriend as soon as he returned. Well, after he jumped him, stuck his tongue down his throat, and then slapped him soundly across the face.

Piper was a little jumpy that month, and eventually someone noticed.

“You okay, dude?” James Jesse asked. They were meeting up for coffee at a place down the street from one of the Trickster’s hideouts. The garish criminal had thankfully had the sense to put on proper civilian attire before meeting up with Piper, for which he was grateful. He’d had to explain more than once that a fake mustache that didn’t match his roots just wasn’t enough, especially when you wore the same color scheme as your costume.

The whole thing was awkward as ass though. James had no idea how to talk to Piper now that he was trying to be a reasonably productive member of society, and Piper worried that their flimsy almost-friendship would disappear entirely if James ever realized he was dating the Scarlet Speedster.

Though Piper had to wonder if he was still dating the guy when no one had seen him in a god damned month.

“Piper,” James repeated, this time snapping his fingers next to his ear. Piper twitched and had to quell the urge to smack him. That would have been annoying even without super-science enhanced hearing. Not that he’d told James about the robot ears, but still.

“I’m fine,” Piper snapped.

James gave him a _look_ and he relented.

“I’m…having issues with my boyfriend. I didn’t think you’d want me talking about my ‘icky gay stuff.’”

James took a slow sip of his coffee before answering. “Just don’t talk about anal sex and I’ll behave. I didn’t realize you were seeing anyone. So who is it? That dorky cop?”

“Forensic scientist,” Piper said defensively. “And yes. It’s not a big deal. He’s just been kind of distant lately.” Which seemed to be a safe enough substitute for the truth.

“Ah. Sorry, that kind of sucks. But you know Piper, not everyone’s as insta-intimacy as you.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

James shrugged. “It means you’re an open book, but not everyone’s like you. Seriously, within the first five minutes of talking to you I knew you were gay, that you hated your parents, that you fantasized about overthrowing the government, and that you wished you’d lived during the age of revolution so you could commit regicide and free the masses from tyrants.”

Piper could feel his face flushing. He irritably tapped his fingers against the tabletop. “I was also nineteen and fucking stupid.”

James quirked an eyebrow, perfect smirk in place. “You’re twenty two and you haven’t changed _that_ much in three years. Well, okay, Len smacked you into having some semblance of a poker face, but my point’s the same. Once you feel safe opening up to someone, you _open_ up. And not everyone else is like that. Some people guard their issues. Most people do when they’re starting a new relationship, actually. Y’know, so they don’t scare their alluring and frisky young redhead away by talking about their dysfunctional family, or embarrassing taste in music, or whatever the fuck else normal people are ashamed of. If the guy’s being a little distant you should probably be patient with him.”

That was unexpectedly good advice, and something he could have used during his actual fight with Barry. James was right. Piper had been silent for so long that he never bit his tongue unless he absolutely had to. Not since finding his voice, anyway. He did expect the same kind of brutal honesty from others, and it had gotten him in trouble not only with Barry but with his previous boyfriends and the Rogues.

God damn he wished he could talk to James about his real problem. It seemed there was a chance the man would actually have something comforting to say.

Wally sure as hell hadn’t. He’d given a shrug, an apathetic “yeah, but he always comes back,” and then launched into a lengthy recitation of his own problems. Apparently the kid was a bit self-centered. Piper liked hanging out with him, but whenever he did he inevitably had to listen to the kid bitch, and then try to mentor him a little.

As much as Barry seemed to genuinely care about Wally, he seemed to leave him on his own about a lot of things the poor kid was practically screaming for guidance over. He was having a terrible time trying to balance superheroics with any kind of satisfying civilian life. Not only that, but his powers had started hurting him. He’d decided to take some time off, but now he was being plagued with guilt. If Kid Flash wasn’t out helping people, then was it his fault when people he could have saved got hurt? Piper didn’t have any answers for him, but he was pretty sure Barry would have known just what to say. Hell, he’d at least have an idea of how to fix the weird problem Wally was having with his superspeed.

Piper couldn’t wait for him to come back from wherever the hell he’d gone.

James tried to make some more small talk, but Piper’s attention kept drifting. There wasn’t a lot he could really chat about, and his mind seemed determined to nag him over his boyfriend, rather than take the out of being distracted by a colorful and interesting friend. Eventually they gave up and parted ways. James sweetly wished Piper luck working things out with his dork, which he appreciated. The guy was a much better friend when they weren’t wearing costumes.

Once he got to the privacy of his bedroom, Piper took out his wallet and fished out the one picture he’d wheedled Barry into taking with him. Still wary of being outed before he was ready, and being fired as a consequence, Barry didn’t want to leave behind photographic evidence of their relationship. Piper was nothing if not persistent though, and he’d begged and pleaded and teased and nagged until finally Barry had given in and let him snap one.

And damn was he thankful he hadn’t given up on that, because the small snapshot was a ridiculous comfort while he was so nervous over his lover’s unknown fate.

Piper had taken it himself with a disposable camera, and he suspected that Barry had either developed it himself or run the camera to some remote convenience store in a foreign country, such was his twitchy paranoia over being found out. Piper had finally gotten the okay on one of those blessedly rare Saturday mornings they sometimes spent together, when Barry Allen didn’t have work and the Rogues were too hung over to have any grandiose plans for the Flash to need to go out and spoil. Immediately after getting Barry to murmur a reluctant yes, their lips still pressed together in a lazy kiss, Piper had bounded out of bed, ran to his dresser, and snagged the camera. He’d then draped himself over Barry’s chest, held the camera out at an angle he hoped captured them both without chopping off their heads, and taken the picture.

Piper had ridiculous bedhead in the shot, and Barry looked a bit dazed, but his arms were wrapped around Piper and they were both smiling. Piper was beaming for the camera, actually, while Barry’s fond expression was fixed on him and him alone.

He let out a wistful sigh and returned the picture to his wallet. “He’ll come home soon,” he whispered. Not because he believed it, or even had any way of knowing, but because the house was just too damn quiet.

* * *

Barry still hadn’t returned once the Crisis began, leaving Central City noticeably fucked. Piper tried to pick up some of the slack, but he had to use and abuse his hypnotic abilities in a way he wasn’t really comfortable with to quell the rioting that the panic of red skies, time anomalies, and unpredictable weather brought out in the populace.

Thinking that Mardon could at least help out with the weather, Piper tried tracking down his old friends in the Rogues. But when he got to their last known hideout he only found Rainbow Raider dejectedly grumbling to himself.

Roy was slouched in a chair by the abandoned poker table, his arms crossed over his chest. The guy looked surly. Piper hoped to god the man didn’t have a buzz on. Rainbow Raider was nearly impossible to deal with when he was drunk.

“Where is everyone?”

“Off on a space mission with Lex Luthor and Brainiac. I see they didn’t invite you either. _Typical_.”

Piper blinked a few times. “The guys are working with Luthor and Brainiac? That doesn’t seem…well, at all wise, actually. Those manipulative bastards will throw the Rogues under the bus at the first chance of being overwhelmed by the self-righteous in spandex. Was Len thinking this through?”

Roy glanced out a hole in the wall that had formerly been a window and shrugged. “Doubt it. Everyone thinks the world’s about to end, so I don’t know that clear thinking’s even an option. I mean, if they were they probably wouldn’t have left us behind, right? I mean, being left behind doesn’t necessarily mean everyone thinks you’re worthless. There was probably just too much confusion for them to, to realize they needed to go and get me. That must have been it.”

“Er…right. I’m sure that’s it.” Piper let out a weary sigh, accepting that he wasn’t going to get the help he needed, and left Roy stewing in bitterness, and possibly a touch of delusion, in the abandoned hideout.

* * *

The next couple of days passed in an exhausting blur of nearly constant battles, fears for loved ones that were impossible to allay, and more than a little fear for his own wellbeing. Piper was reasonably helpful in calming and dispersing panicking crowds, but when the Anti-Monitor’s minions started preying on the populace he was completely out of his league. Nothing seemed to work on those shadowy fuckers.

He was crouching in the rubble of a second hand bookstore he’d been rather fond of, trying to get his breath back and figure out what to do next, when, as suddenly as they’d appeared the demons were sucked away by a glowing green light. Piper struggled through the debris and climbed on top of a car to watch as the dark figures disappeared into the sky, letting out a wretched noise as they went.

Piper had legitimately lost track of time running from battle to battle. He wasn’t sure how many times the sun had set in the alternatingly red, blank, or blackened sky, but he’d known he’d slept and ate far too little for however many days it had been. He hadn’t seen a single speedster in that time. To the best of his knowledge, he’d fought for the citizens of Central and Keystone without any costumed assistance.

His exhaustion caught up with him, and Piper passed out.

* * *

“Hmm…?” Piper let out a groan and tried to sit up, but there was a hand holding him back against an army cot. He forced his eyes open, and for a delusional moment he thought it was Barry hovering over him. In that moment he was flooded with warmth and relief, but then he realized the concerned blue eyes and messy blond hair belonged to James Jesse, not his lover.

“Hey. Sit back, Hart. Let me get someone to take a look at you.”

“James, wait. What happened? Where’m…where am I?” He was still trying to sit up, but James kept his hand firmly in place until Piper gave up on his weak little flails.

Sighing, James returned to the crouch he’d been taking at Piper’s side. He was wearing street clothes, and it appeared he may have dressed in a hurry as his jeans and t-shirt didn’t clash. Piper had never seen him look so somber or, well, _normal_. It seemed even his immature and exuberant friend responded to the Crisis with grief and fatigue. Which was just unsettling, come to think of it. The world had gotten really fucked up if it rendered James Jesse bland and serious.

“Oh man, Piper. Why the fuck were you out there playing hero? You could have gotten yourself killed. The Anti-Monitor’s fucking grunts grabbed you more than once, you know.”

“Never enough to kill me.” Piper licked his dry lips, trying not to think of those he’d been unable to help. He’d seen far too many civilians dissolved in front of his eyes by the Anti-Monitor’s shadow creatures before he could get to them.

James pulled back the blanket that had been covering Piper, and he finally noticed that the majority of his torso and at least half his left arm were covered in bandages and medical tape. “Huh.” He hadn’t felt any of that until he’d seen the bandages. Of course, now that he was aware of how soundly he’d had his ass handed to him, every ache and pain was singing for him.

“Scudder’s dead.” James’ voice was nearly toneless, aside from a slight tremble hinting at the grief and pain hiding under the surface. “Half the guys are banged up like you would not believe, and…and, well, you subbing in for your boyfriend nearly took you out. I suppose it’s a romantic enough gesture, but _really_ Piper-”

“Wait, what?” Piper yelped. He tried to sit up on his elbows but fell weakly back against the cot.

“Shit. Shit, I’m getting someone. I’m-”

Piper used his last reserves of strength to snatch James’ wrist. “How did you know that? James, what happened to him? Where’s the Flash?”

James peeled Piper’s hand off of him, actions rough but expression surprisingly gentle. “Hart…I’m sorry. I’m going to go tell the nurse that you woke up, and then I’ve got to give Kid Flash a call. He told me to call him as soon as you woke up.”

“James, where’s my boyfriend? H-he’s not…”

James didn’t answer, but then, he really didn’t have to. Piper was too exhausted to move, so he had to cover his face with his hands to get even the illusion of privacy for his tears. James gave his shoulder a gentle pat, then left to find a doctor.

* * *

It took Piper a little while to piece together what had happened between him passing out and him waking to learn his boyfriend was dead.

After he’d passed out on top of the car, a family he’d saved from the shadow creatures had found him and carried him to an emergency shelter that had been set up in an elementary school. His injuries had been tended to like any of the other myriad wounded from the Crisis, and at some point while he’d been unconscious, Wally West had gone to the Anti-Matter Universe and found Barry’s ring and costume. Piper still had no idea when the man had actually died.

The authorities were doing the best they could to rebuild the city and restore order. Piper suspected that somewhere, Rathaway Publishing was donating a sizeable monetary contribution to the rebuilding, but he’d eat his polka dotted tunic if Osgood or Rachel Rathaway ever rolled up their sleeves and gave a personal contribution.

Apparently rounding up criminals and making arrests were a part of restoring order. Piper learned this when a couple of cops reluctantly walked into the shelter to arrest him. He was still doing rather poorly, having suffered more near misses from the Anti-matter creatures than anyone else in the Cities, and was in no shape to give the cops any kind of fight. Wondering if he could count on his parents to help him out of just one last legal scrape, Piper heaved a sigh and resigned himself to finishing his recovery in a jail cell.

Then he was ringed by at least twenty of the civilians he’d nearly killed himself protecting.

 “The heroes forgot us,” a college student snapped, eyes blazing with anger. “They were out in space, or other universes, or God knows where, and Kid Flash was in New York or something, and I don’t even know where the fuck Elongated Man was. But the Pied Piper stayed, and he saved more lives than any of _you_ , and now you want to throw him in jail? That’s not going to happen.”

A low murmur passed around the gymnasium. The cops traded a disgruntled look and made a renewed effort to approach Piper’s cot, but no one moved an inch.

“ Wasn’t there a law passed about reformed supervillains?” a woman in a tattered skirt-suit asked.

“Well, yes, but there’s a burden on the villains to demonstrate a sincere change towards upholding the laws of society,” one of the police officers said, looking incredibly reluctant to admit it. The Reform Act was highly convenient for the authorities during an emergency, but they all tried to pretend it didn’t exist the rest of the time.

The woman narrowed her eyes. “Everyone present who had their life saved by the Pied Piper during the Crisis raise their hand.”

At least half the ragged looking civilians crowding the elementary school’s gymnasium did so. The cop looked flabbergasted.

“He’ll get his day in court, people. We’re doing our end of the job!”

“Plus a hero’s got to vouch for him,” the other officer said. “Otherwise every villain would claim a sudden change of heart when they got caught, and they’d get away with it. I knew the Reform Act was going to be a pain in my ass.”

“I’ll vouch for him.”

The arguing ceased so suddenly and thoroughly that even those without superhearing could have heard a pin drop. Every head turned towards the doorway, where the Flash had suddenly appeared.

Piper let out a gasp and tried to run towards him, but he promptly fell over. He didn’t hit the ground though, supported by a yellow glove under his elbow that carefully guided onto a nearby cot. But that grip on his arm…it didn’t feel right. The voice hadn’t been quite right either…

Piper’s eyes welled with tears, obscuring the familiar yet wrong green eyes gazing at him with concern and sympathy from behind the distinctive red cowl. Piper dropped his head, and Wally rubbed his back while he struggled to regain his composure. The kid might as well have torn out his heart and done a merry jig on it.

“Officers, I think you’ve done your duty here,” a woman snapped. “Can you leave the hero in peace?”

The first cop shrugged. “To tell you the truth, I wasn’t all that crazy about bringing the guy in to begin with.”

“Yeah. If Kid Flash has him, that’s good enough for me.” The police officers warily nodded at the intimidatingly stoic crowd of civilians, then left the emergency shelter as quick as they were able to while still maintaining their dignity.

Meanwhile, Piper was struggling for each shaky breath he got and feeling like he was going to suffocate under the weight of his grief. Wally pulled his cowl down, ran a nervous hand through his hair, and smirked when he saw Piper’s shocked expression.

“Oh, yeah, cat’s out of the bag. I don’t have a secret identity anymore, and everyone knows about Uncle Barry. Um…how are your injuries? If I run you out of here, will you be okay? You look like you could use some privacy.”

“I’ll be fine,” Piper whispered. He squeezed his eyes shut, and next thing he knew he was resting on a couch in the living room of an unfamiliar apartment. Wally propped him up with pillows, threw a blanket over him, and procured a to-go cup of tea from somewhere. Then he sat down opposite with a fast food bag and started eating a greasy burger.

“Don’t mind me. Gotta take in some replacement calories.”

“Did your superspeed stop hurting you then?” Piper asked.

“I’m a little slower than before, and I’m having nutritional issues, but it’s not killing me. So that’s an improvement.”

Piper’s eyes widened. “It was killing you? You never said that.”

Wally let out some nervous laughter. “I didn’t want to think about it. So…yeah. I, um, I decided to take on the mantle and keep Barry’s legacy going. I’m, um, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get your hopes up.”

Piper set the tea aside. It was a cute gesture, but he wasn’t really sick. The tea wasn’t going to help him recover from his injuries any faster. “I’d been told already. But…a part of me keeps hoping he’ll come back. He’s cheated death so many times before, and he always came back then. I still can’t believe he’s gone.”

“Me neither.”

They fell into a silence, finding unexpected comfort in their shared pain. But stillness suited Wally about as well as silence suited Piper, and after a few minutes the kid started fidgeting. He finished his fast food, tossed out the trash, and then downed Piper’s tea for good measure.

“So, um, I heard you were defending Central during the Crisis. Last time we talked you said you were going to sell instruments or something. You really thinking of suiting up?”

“Yes and no. Barry wanted me to, but I didn’t think the heroic community would ever accept me as one of their own. I don’t think I have much chance without him to vouch for me. I suppose I don’t _need_ the Justice League’s approval, though I’m sure it would make things easier.”

“Dude, don’t worry about it.” Wally was smiling, and the expression looked almost completely sincere. You had to get to his eyes to see how heavy his heart was. “The people you’re looking to protect trust you already, right? I mean, it’s not like you’re talking about setting up shop in Gotham or something. You don’t need the Justice League’s permission to help people.”

Piper looked down at his wringing hands, feeling heavy hearted and so very tired. He needed a break from the wearing few weeks he’d had. “I don’t know, Wally. I think I’d be a spectacular disappointment of a hero. Barry’s legacy is in your hands.”

“And that is scaring the ever loving shit out of me.”

He looked up at that, surprised by the vulnerability Wally was showing, coupled with more nervous laughter.

“Look at me, Piper. I’m a kid. I _think_ my heart’s in the right place, but I don’t really know. I’m kind of dumb sometimes, and I panic, and I make mistakes and some of them are pretty serious. That innate sense of justice, that way he just knew what was right and how to act on it and how heroics were just intrinsic to Barry’s being? I don’t have that. I _needed_ my mentor, but he just started being a hero as soon as he got his powers. I’m still learning, Piper, and I can’t do it alone. You were helping Barry broaden his mind and look at aspects of crime he’d never considered. I’ll teach you what I know about the epic scale battles, and you can help me learn about poverty and homelessness and how that feeds into the big stuff. We’ll help each other. And…and we’ll keep his memory alive.”

He looked so hopeful, with a tinge of desperation underneath it. Piper felt that Wally was selling himself a bit short, but he was certainly right about one thing: the boy wasn’t ready for the burdens that came with being the Flash. He did have a lot to learn, but frankly, so did Piper.

Wally held out his hand, and Piper shook it.

“Alright. I’ll work with you, Wally.”

Wally grinned. “Cool. The Flash and Pied Piper are going to be partners. Uh, but not in the gay way you were with my uncle.”

Piper laughed, but groaned inwardly. The kid meant well, but that mild homophobia was going to get grating really quickly. “Y’know, somehow I figured out for myself what you meant. I do appreciate the fact that you’re not making me your sidekick though.”

Wally sat down on the arm of his couch, turning fidgety once more. “Yeah, because I’m totally the type of guy who should have a sidekick,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Besides, you’re older than me. If anything, you’d be my tech-guy.”

“I could do that, I suppose.”

“But I’d rather you not be subordinate in any way. Thus, partners. Again, I don’t know what I’m doing here. Need help. All that jazz.”

Piper smirked. “I’m not sure this is the most propitious beginning for a partnership, but all the same…I have to confess myself touched. Thank you, Wally.”

“For what?” he asked, looking adorably puzzled.

Piper reached over and patted his arm. “For thinking of me. I’m used to being forgotten.”

“Oh. Well yeah, no problem. I mean, not only are you a cool guy that I love hanging with, but…you’re like the only person I could think of who has a chance of understanding what it means to lose Barry. Um…you really don’t think it’s weird or presumptuous that I’m taking over for him?”

“On the contrary, Wally. I find it incredibly appropriate.”

Wally grinned. “Cool.”

Piper settled himself more comfortably on the couch and took what felt like his first relaxed breath in weeks. “So…have you made any plans for yourself in your new role?”

“Actually, yeah. I might have a mission already and everything.”

“Oh.” Well that was quick. Piper perked up a little to listen. “Do you need help? What’s the mission?”

Then Wally told him about how he was charging a hospital to run a human heart to a transplant patient on the opposite coast that desperately needed it. The kid was lucky Piper was still weak as hell, otherwise he’d have slapped the shit out of him.

Right, so he was still going to be mentoring his puppy then.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, friends! It's been awhile. Um...I got a new comment on the fic the other day, and what with watching the Flash TV show (I'm not caught up, but I have enjoyed what I've seen) and rereading some old comics, well...rereading the fic made me want to work on it again.
> 
> So...this chapter is pretty much just a bridge to the stuff I actually want to be writing. I'd originally intended to write some of Wally and Piper's adventures through my favorite moments of 90s Flash, but I ultimately decided against it. It wouldn't really have added much to the story. If I get any really good ideas, I'll just post them as one-shots.
> 
> I realize that a lot of the people reading Flash fic now are here for the show and probably haven't read many, if any, of the comics. I'm summarizing the comics from the late 80s through the mid 2000s pretty heavily in this chapter. If you get confused, please take comfort in the fact that it's pretty confusing even if you HAVE read all the comics I've referenced. Also, there are plentiful spoilers for the Mark Waid and Geoff Johns runs in this chapter, as well as Countdown and Blackest Night.
> 
> Also, Piper and Barry was actually an obscure crack pairing when I started writing this thing. It tickles me that the show has made it not only plausible but somewhat popular.
> 
> Enjoy!

Time passed and eventually the loss of Barry Allen became just another scar on Piper's heart. Granted, this one had a tendency to unexpectedly reopen on him, like when Eobard Thawne took his disorienting trip through the time stream and impersonated Barry for a few months (a Barry that suspiciously had no memory whatsoever of his romantic involvement with Piper, something that had tipped Wally off that things were not as they seemed with this resurrection). Anytime a superhero died and came back, Piper discovered once again that he still hadn't entirely given up hope that his lover might one day return to him.

The most uncomfortable experience by far was when Iris Allen returned from the supposed grave (Piper was still a little fuzzy on the exact circumstances of that story – apparently she'd never died but had merely time traveled? He shrugged it off as a side effect of hanging with speedsters; convoluted time travel and parallel earths just came with the territory). Iris came back with tales of her life in the future with Barry, the children they'd had, and a speedster grandchild in tow that certainly validated her claims. Not that Piper _needed_ to see Bart to believe her. Why wouldn't Barry make a family with his wife in the future if he'd found himself stuck there? Even after accepting his sexual orientation, he'd always maintained that he loved his wife.

Piper had just thought that if Barry got stuck somewhere, he'd make every effort to come back. He'd managed to get back long enough to die fighting the Anti-Monitor in the Crisis, hadn't he? But he'd never tracked Piper down, even for a second, even just long enough to say goodbye.

Wally, lost in the joy of having his beloved aunt back, and the annoyances that came with having a protege (a responsibility he'd happily dumped onto Max Mercury at the first available opportunity, and later Jay and Joan Garrick), hadn't registered the intense discomfort Piper experienced being in Iris' presence. Thankfully, the boy had somehow managed to attract a brilliant and beautiful partner for himself in the person of Linda Park, and she bullied Piper into going out for coffee to discuss his feelings.

“Wally told me how you two became friends, you know,” Linda said bluntly.

Piper sighed, eyes fixed on his untouched coffee, and tapped the side of the mug with his fingers. “Honestly, I'm surprised he hasn't told more people. There doesn't seem much point to keeping Barry in the closet anymore.”

“How come you haven't told anyone?”

“Oh come now, Linda. Think of how much work that'd make for poor Dexter at the Flash Museum. He'd have to pull my mannequin out of the Rogues' gallery, work me into the love interest exhibit, deal with all the conservative Christian protestors and street preachers, hold press conferences with GLAAD-”

“Does Iris know?” Linda gave him a pointed look, and Piper dispensed with the bullshit deflection. Considering she was dating Wally West, Linda was pretty good at out-sassing far better would-be comedians than Piper, a necessary skill Wally's previous love interests had lacked.

“I honestly don't know,” Piper admitted. “She's not acting like it. But every now and then she just gives me these looks...it's hard to explain, really. I...I think she might. Anyway, she was a lot nicer to me back when I was just a novice supervillain. Now that we're ostensibly on the same side, she's been pretty cold.”

“Mm. Not to mention you're besties with her beloved nephew. She was a little wary of me until I somehow earned her approval,” Linda said. “But once she decided I was good for Wally she warmed right up. You are by far one of the best influences on my idiot boy and quite possibly the only reason he survived his first year of being the Flash. You'd think she'd be overjoyed at your friendship.”

“That's a bit much.”

“Maybe, but you also habitually sell yourself short. Piper, you and Wally helped each other transition into being independent superheroes. And don't think I don't know that you talked to your old supervillain buddies on Wally's behalf. I know how much you've done to keep my boyfriend alive, and I greatly appreciate it. Iris should too.”

“But as she doesn't...”

Linda sighed, and ran a well manicured hand through her hair. “I mean, as much as I don't like it, I can't say I blame her. It's got to be uncomfortable enough, knowing the love of your life fell in love again after your apparent death. But she also firmly believed her husband was straight.”

“Yes, she's been very vocal about that.” Which was another reason Piper was pretty sure Iris knew about his relationship with Barry. Iris had made a few offhand comments about Barry being a good ally to the LGBT community, which was just bizarre. Barry wasn't an activist, he hadn't made any friends or connections in the wider community as he'd remained in the closet, and he'd harbored all the mild prejudices one might expect of a somewhat right leaning middle class cop from Missouri until Piper had helped him examine those prejudices. Iris would only be defensively referring to her husband as an ally to distinguish him as straight, which made Piper think she was perfectly aware that Barry had been bisexual.

“It's...I'm not saying it's right,” Linda said carefully, no doubt taking note of the scowl on her friend's face and hedging her statement accordingly. “But I do have some sympathy for her. I mean, finding out your husband was actually gay, it's the kind of thing that messes with you. Iris certainly wouldn't be the first woman to handle it less than spectacularly.”

“Barry wasn't gay,” Piper said. “He was bisexual.”

“Wally said he was gay, but he didn't accept it until he started seeing you.”

“And are we really surprised Wally has simplified something as extraordinarily confusing as human sexuality into an either-or binary?” Piper returned. Linda smirked in response. “We talked about it a lot. I was sort of counseling Barry for a good chunk of our relationship. I don't want to get into the details as they're no one's business except Barry's and arguably mine and Iris', but Barry identified himself as bisexual. He was more interested in men than women and said that even if he hadn't met me he probably never would have been with another woman besides Iris, but he definitely loved her. Their relationship was...well, everything Iris makes it out to be. I'm pretty convinced that were the three of us all alive at the same time...” Piper broke off and stared at his coffee again.

Linda reached across the table and squeezed his hand. “Sweetie...there's no way to know for sure, of course, but don't think that way. Wally told me how much his uncle loved you, and as we've both acknowledged, if things are at all subtle he tends to miss them.”

“We only dated for a year. Not even quite a year, honestly. He was actually married to Iris-”

“Which isn't an option for same sex couples,” Linda reminded him.

“But he was barricaded into the closet. I don't think he would have...I don't know that we were heading there. If he'd lived, who knows if we'd still be together now? I think I'm best off accepting that even though he was the love of my life, I was never the love of his.”

“Hartley...”

“I've gotta get going. James Jesse had a, a thing. A favor he needed my help on. I'll see you later, Linda.” Before she could say anything else, he left the cafe and started heading home.

In reality, James had asked him for a favor, but Piper was no longer in the mood. His friendship with the Trickster was almost as high maintenance as the one with Wally. Even more so, since James hadn't committed completely to reforming and still dabbled in supervillainy from time to time. Piper got sick of explaining to him that no, he couldn't be an accessory to anything that even bent the law, and that James' definitions of right and wrong could use some work.

He went home, changed into sweatpants, and sat down in his living room with the Ken Burns jazz documentary series and a pint of ice cream. His thoughts kept straying from the show, however, and eventually Piper found himself staring at the little picture he still kept in his wallet.

Time and circumstances made him doubt what he'd shared with Barry. He knew his own feelings, of course, but it was easy to tell himself that he was mis-remembering his dead lover. Piper had been a nightmare in his early twenties, a damaged, emotional wreck always teetering on the edge of a full mental breakdown. He'd been decent looking enough, and in much better shape (Piper shot a look to the ice cream sitting on the table and thought about returning it to the freezer), and Barry himself said that he was more sexually attracted to men than women, so it was pretty easy to talk himself into believing that the relationship was just physical on Barry's end. Piper was remarkably good at convincing himself that Barry had only been invested in him as a means of physical gratification.

When he looked at the picture he knew better. How many times had he caught Barry looking at him like that...like he was the most precious thing in the world. He remembered lazy Saturday mornings, lying in bed in a tangle of limbs, Barry stroking his hair back and whispering endearments in his ear.

So the relationship had been short. So he'd gone to the future and fathered children with the other love of his life. So he'd sacrificed himself to save the world without saying goodbye.

Barry had loved him, and looking at the picture could convince even Piper's damaged mind that it was true.

* * *

“Wally, I appreciate what you're doing. I know that it comes from a good place. Please stop trying to set me up with your friends.”

Wally tried his best to look innocent around his mouthful of fried rice. Linda crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes. “I told you he was going to notice.”

Piper set his own carton of Chinese food on an end table. Inviting his friends over for dinner had mostly been a pretense to discuss Wally's attempt at meddling with his (non-existent) personal life.

“Oh come on! If you weren't so damn resistant to the idea of dating, it would have been perfectly serendipitous. Team ups with other superheroes can be like foreplay if you go into it with the right attitude.”

Piper rubbed at the bridge of his nose. “It's not serendipitous when it's been prearranged by a nosy busy-body friend who is willfully not hearing you when you say you're fine being single. Really, I don't want to date.”

“But Piper...it's been five years.” Wally set his food on the coffee table and moved across the room. He stood next to Piper's chair and carefully patted his shoulder. “You gotta move on, dude. I...I don't think he's coming back.”

Piper tensed and shrugged Wally's hand off. “Don't you think I know that? Besides, even if he did, he's got his wife and adorable grandson waiting for him. He...I'm sorry. I'm sorry, none of this anger has anything to do with you guys. And really, I'm very flattered that you thought I might hit it off with Nightwing. But I really don't want a blind date, even a crime fighting one. So please stop volunteering me for team ups with your gay and bi buddies, okay?”

“First of all,” Wally said, visibly annoyed, “you just referred to Bart as an adorable child. He's roughly thirteen years old, as best we can tell with the accelerated aging from the Speed Force, and he's a pain in the ass. Secondly, none of us know for sure whether Barry would pick Aunt Iris over you or not, so don't use that as a way to wallow in self-hatred, kay? One thing I am absolutely sure of is that Barry would not want you beating yourself up like this. And he'd want you to be happy. Piper...I'm starting to really worry about you. You can date again if you want to. It doesn't make what you had with my uncle any less real.”

“Agreed,” Linda said. “Closing yourself off from love at age twenty three because you've suffered a tragedy is martyrdom, Hartley. Completely unnecessary martyrdom.”

“The old lady from Titanic loved again after Jack, didn't she?” Wally added.

Piper couldn't help himself. He actually smiled at that. “Thank you, Wally, but it's more complicated than my shit self-esteem. I...really just don't want to date. At all. I almost had this thing with an architect at my old building. He was cute and we really got along, but I just...I don't know. My head wasn't there and it wasn't fair to him. Besides that, we've been pretty busy lately between Neron and Kobra and that other Flash from the future...I don't think it's a good time to try a new relationship.” He'd also had another fling with a lab tech named David, because apparently Piper had a thing for scientists, but that had fizzled out quicker than the fling with the architect.

“Fair enough.” Wally frowned thoughtfully. “You will let me know if you do feel ready though, right?”

“I mean, I appreciate the concern, but I'm actually not in need of my oblivious straight best friend to find me a date.”

“Well, you said you were flattered I thought you'd hit it off with Nightwing. Just so you know, he was the one who asked me to fix you up.”

“He...what?” Piper gaped at his friends, who both looked far too amused at his reaction. “But...but that tight black suit leaves nothing to the imagination. And he's your age. Are you sure? Wouldn't he have been asking about someone else?”

“He likes redheads,” Linda said. “And he liked that interview you had in the Advocate about workplace discrimination in the Gem Cities. But Nightwing tends not to stay single for very long, so try to get your head together sooner as opposed to later, okay hon?”

That turned out to be the most intriguing revelation of the night, that Nightwing, the most desired piece of ass in the superhero community, wanted to date him. Piper thought on that for some time, and found it a marvelous boost to his confidence.

* * *

Nightwing was not only a gorgeous young man, but very charismatic and intelligent. Piper was charmed by him almost immediately. However, attraction only took them so far. They spent a few nights together, but much to Wally's vocal disappointment, nothing deeper developed between them.

 “You can't be that surprised. We're both in love with other people,” Piper said. He smiled, amused rather than insulted by Wally's reaction.

 “But...but...the other relationships you guys want aren't going to happen! Why can't you just be happy together?”

"I'm very sorry, Wally. We're just inconsiderate people, I guess."

The thing with Nightwing was nice, though it didn't last very long. Piper never expected it to. Eventually Nightwing went back to seeing the vibrant young heroes in his circle, equally emotionally damaged but in far more interesting and outgoing ways than Piper, and he went back to spending his nights with books and documentaries and his instruments when he wasn't out being a superhero with Wally. And he was actually content with things as they were. If his friends had just stopped feeling so sorry for him all the time, he wouldn't even have been wasting that much time reflecting on what he'd had and what he'd lost.

* * *

More time passed, and something changed between the heroes and villains in Central and Keystone. Things got a bit darker, a bit more desperate than they'd been. Len's iron tight grip on the Rogues slackened, and Blacksmith made a bid for power. Not only that, but the heroes found themselves with a new Zoom on their hands.

Piper was collateral damage in the new Rogues' war against Wally. They destroyed his life, just to get him out of the way. Even after his name was cleared he found that public perception of him wasn't any better. Yes, he'd been working as a superhero longer than his criminal career at this point, but it seemed the public had always secretly suspected he'd revert to crime one day, and found that much more plausible than that he'd been framed. As bitter as he was over it, Piper wasn't entirely surprised. It seemed like he was the only reformed supervillain that actually did successfully switch sides. He really couldn't blame people for being suspicious of him.

Piper emerged from the Rogues War without his parents, with the fresh trauma of an implanted false memory of having killed them, and with suspicious stares everywhere he went. If it weren't for Wally and Linda's twins, he might have contemplated something drastic. He hadn't felt that low since the days after the Crisis. But he had babies to play with, and that certainly made things better.

Then even the babies were gone, along with their parents, and Piper found himself trying to figure out how to work with a new Flash, this one the aged up grandson of his dead lover. Bart was a nice enough guy, but they never quite gelled. Piper wanted to blame his own emotional baggage there, which was much easier than suspecting Iris Allen of prejudicing her grandson against him. At any rate, working closely with Bart wasn't an option, so Piper did his best to protect him from a distance. He lied his way back into the Rogues, thinking he could sabotage on Bart's behalf from within the group. It was tricky, and he never would have been able to bluff his way back in without Trickster, but he managed. Working with the people who had actually murdered his parents was wreaking havoc on Piper emotionally. He even thought about quitting. Bart and Iris could probably handle the Flash legacy on their own. It's not like the Rogues ever actually tried to kill the Flash, after all. That was Len's first and most important rule. You don't kill speedsters. You don't bring that kind of heat on the Rogues.

Except they did, and Piper found himself in the nightmarish position of having all the superheroes _thinking_ he was evil, and all the supervillains  _knowing_ he wasn't. His best and closest friends were gone. He had no family. He had no home.

And then after that run in with Deadshot, he didn't even have James anymore, inconsistent friend that he'd been.

He hadn't even begun to process what happened to him on Apokolips before the world started going to hell again. It seemed like the cosmic level crises weren't spacing themselves out as much as before. This time the world was overrun by zombie Lanterns, and in the midst of the chaos the supervillains were having a power battle. Piper tried to confront the Rogues, still hoping to get some justice for his parents and now for James Jesse as well, but he only wound up back in his parents' abandoned mansion with a life threatening injury.

He was tempted to just give up, die of blood loss or infection, whichever one got him first. What was there to live for? He made a shit superhero on his own, and his old friends all thought he was evil. Everyone he cared about was either literally dead or he was dead to them. Besides, maybe if he died he'd finally get to see Barry again...

With his luck, the Flash would finally get a resurrection after he shuffled the mortal coil.

That cynical thought wasn't much comfort. Piper's eyes slid shut, not quite voluntarily. Hm. Seemed like the blood loss was going to get him, then. Well, that was preferable. Dying of an infected stab wound sounded much worse. He really hoped he'd wind up at one of the afterlives the people who'd died and come back sometimes told stories about. Maybe his parents would be waiting for him. And James.

And Barry. 

Piper could have sworn he heard his dead lover yelling his name, but that must have just been delusion from the blood loss. Or maybe he was already dead, although he'd expected the pain to stop once he actually died. No, he could very much still feel the stab wound in his shoulder, the warm blood sticking his costume to his skin, and he thought he could hear the sound of Barry Allen desperately yelling his name...

Piper tried to open his eyes, and then everything went black and silent.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you may have noticed, this chapter covered a lot of space and moved quickly because I'm trying to get the story somewhere else. I decided to just skip over Final Crisis, and I don't expect anyone will be particularly upset over that ;) You guys are thinking of this as an AU already anyway, right?
> 
> Emotional trauma and impossible love triangle to follow in the next chapter. I'm hoping to have it done relatively quickly. At any rate, the next update shouldn't take me nearly as long as this one did...


	12. Chapter 12

“So I see bow ties are in fashion now.”

Wally snorted into is hand, badly attempting to conceal his laugh. “Kind of. Not really for everyone though. Come to think of it, I guess I could see you fitting in with the hipster subculture. You're a little old for it though.”

They were in Wally and Linda's living room and there was a large mirror placed just above the fireplace. Barry glanced at his reflection, something he'd been doing quite frequently since Professor Zoom had kicked him out of the speedster afterlife in the Speed Force. “I don't look old,” he said, because it was true. He looked like he was about Wally's age, possibly a little younger.

It was weird. He felt like he was waking up from a long sleep, with snatches of a horrible dream he couldn't quite remember nagging at his consciousness. He remembered finding himself stuck in the future with no way home, but with Iris. He'd made a new life with her, and aged all the while. Then he'd gotten stuck in the Speed Force again, and ejected into that strange place where he'd died fighting the Anti-Monitor. Yet now he was younger than he'd been before his death.

“Nah, you could probably pull off hipster, come to think of it.”

Barry glanced at his appearance again and shrugged. One of the quirks of the Speed Force, he supposed. Iris didn't look the right age either. She looked more like Bart's hip young aunt than his grandmother. It was a comfortable role for her, having been Wally's best friend and emergency exit from his dysfunctional family home during his youth. Wally had certainly given her practice in looking after hyper teenagers.

“So...I'm thinking you didn't come over here to talk to me about evolving fashion,” Wally said. He sat down on the arm of the couch and started fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “I'm sorry, Barry, but I honestly have no idea where Piper is.”

“It is really nice to hear someone else mention his name.” Barry turned away from his nephew and walked over to the window. Wally had been having a hard time meeting his eye, and it was making the conversation even more awkward than it had been already. “I've been resurrected for three days now, and no one's made a peep about him. It was starting to feel like he never existed. Like he was just some fantasy I'd had.”

“I just...I didn't want to say anything in front of Aunt Iris. It's so weird. I mean, when we find him...what are you going to do?”

Barry frowned, and glanced down to his left hand with its naked ring finger. “I'm honestly not sure. But I know I need to see him before I make any decisions. Now, what happened? What have I missed?”

“A lot,” Wally said. “Piper's had a really rough couple of years. He got framed a couple times. Reformed crooks are easy marks like that. First it was for killing his parents, but we cleared him for that-”

“The Rathaways were murdered?” Barry felt his stomach drop. Piper had always been defensively silent on the subject of his family, but Barry knew that his estrangement from them hurt him. He hoped Piper had gotten to make up first, that he'd gotten some closure.

“It was a Rogue conspiracy. The new Mirror Master actually did it, but they framed Piper for it and implanted a false memory so he actually thought he'd done it. Then once we settled from that heat, he got implicated in Bart's death. And for some reason I...” Wally's entire demeanor changed, guilt and confusion showing nakedly on his features. “I _saw_ him, Barry. I saw him and Trickster and they needed help and for some reason I just got so overwhelmingly angry. I didn't help them. I blamed them for killing Bart, and then they disappeared and Trickster got killed and we haven't seen Piper since. I don't know what happened to him, but there have been rumors that he was at some big showdown the Rogues just had. He might have been there when Inertia died.”

“Inertia…?”

“Bart's evil clone.”

“Ah.” Barry stared out the window for a moment, trying to piece together what Wally had told him. “Piper's not a killer. Even when he was a supervillain he didn't even hurt people, let alone kill them. His supervillainy was all misguided attempts to try to help people.”

“I know. I know that. I don't know why I got so angry at him.”

Barry turned around and regarded his nephew with some sympathy. He could see the guilt and pain clearly on Wally's face. “Wally...it's not your fault.”

“I should have helped him. He'd have helped me. He's always been there for me, ever since you died and I started running on my own. Piper's had my back and he taught me so much about being a hero. I don't know why I flipped my shit on him.”

“Beating yourself up over it won't help anything. Let's focus our energy on finding Piper, and then you can talk to him in person.”

Wally nodded. “Yeah. I, yeah, you're right. You know, he's actually Irey's godfather. Dick is Jai's, and he's not around that much but when he is he always makes sure he pays special attention to Jai. Irey's been asking for her godfather. I don't even know what to tell her right now.”

Barry squeezed Wally's shoulder. “Tell her her Uncle Barry is going to find her godfather for her.”

* * *

Tracking Piper down proved more difficult than Barry expected. Not that it was hard to find him. Once he sat down and thought about it, the Rathaway mansion was on his shortlist of places to search.

Emotionally, it was very difficult to come to grips with what had happened to his lover without him. In order to make that list of likely places to search, he had to do some reading up on what Piper had been doing for the last decade and change, and whereas there were some stories that made him smile (the pictures from West gatherings where Piper was ever-present as an honorary member of the family were Barry's favorites), mostly he found that Wally hadn't been kidding when he'd said Piper had had a hard couple of years. He didn't even look like the same person in his most recent photos. He was underweight, his face looked stretched and gaunt, and his hair was liberally streaked with premature grays.

It was really weird seeing him with short hair. Barry was sure anything he had to say on the subject would be met with, 'it's none of your business,' unless all the hardships he'd suffered had robbed Piper of his defiant sass, but he still wondered if he might be able to sway him to grow it out again. And also maybe rethink his facial hair…

“You need to stop picturing him as a twenty three year old,” Barry muttered under his breath. Physically, Piper was older than he was now, and based on the most recent pictures of him Barry could find, he looked older than his age. Which was fine, but when Barry closed his eyes he saw the bright, unguarded smile and laughing eyes of his lover the last time he'd seen him.

It was a Monday morning. They'd managed to spend a good chunk of the weekend together, Barry only being called away for a couple of small Flash duties, nothing that lasted more than an hour at a time. Piper hated mornings, and when Barry's alarm went off he'd curled around him like a vice and tried to whine him into calling out of work. When that plot failed (as it always did) he downed a couple of cups of coffee while Barry was in the shower and woke up enough to have breakfast with him.

When Barry kissed him goodbye his lips had tasted like maple syrup from the waffles he'd eaten.

“Come back to me safe, okay sunshine?”

“I always do, don't I?”

And there was the radiant smile. “Indeed. The Pied Piper has never managed to successfully rid himself of his arch-nemesis. I was thinking of making tacos tonight, so as long as you don't get sucked into an alternate universe or something...”

“I'll be over by eight. And thanks for understanding about the inter-dimensional travel.”

“It's not like you can help it.”

A shared laugh, one more quick kiss, and that was the last they saw of each other. At least it was a good memory, though tinged with some regrets. He wondered if Piper ended up making the tacos or not, if he started worrying right away when Barry disappeared or if he remained confident that he'd come back.

Well, he had. Eventually. It just took a lot longer than it ever had before.

After he finished his research, Barry met up with Wally again to go over the short list he'd made of likely spots Piper might be lying low at. Wally looked a bit skeptical about most of them. “I tried his old haunts in Keystone, and I dunno about the family home and vacation houses. He didn't really get along with his dad. I can't see him going to those places if he can help it.”

“He thinks he's being hunted. He probably think he can't help it. Besides that, he still owns all of the buildings so he's not even trespassing this way.” And there was also the small matter that when Piper wasn't in a good head space he had a tendency to try to make it worse, with this dark impulse to punish himself. Barry didn't really understand it, but he'd seen it in action enough times to find the thought of Piper surrounding himself with memories of his parents, whose deaths he felt responsible for, highly likely. “I'm going to start with the mansion. If you want to look through the Keystone spots again for me, I'd appreciate it.”

“Sure. I'll give you a buzz on the League comm if I find anything.”

“Thanks, Wally.”

* * *

“Piper!” Barry listened carefully but he didn't hear a response.

He supposed it was too much to hope that the very first place he looked happened to be the right one. He just had a gut feeling that this is where Piper would hide. The mix of comforting familiarity and emotional masochism seemed right up his alley…

Perhaps he should have searched the place before he started yelling, but he'd thought Piper would response to the sound of his voice. He tried shouting for him again as he walked through the decaying building.

Maybe he was wrong. There weren't any traps set up, and that was something Piper always made sure to do everywhere he lived. Barry could hear movement, but it sounded like it was just rats. “He always did like rats,” Barry mumbled, trying to find that encouraging. But really, the abandoned Rathaway house had fallen into such disrepair that it didn't really look like the rats needed to be brought in. They'd have been there with or without a master.

“Piper, are you here? God, this place is gigantic. Piper!” Maybe he would do a run through, just to get the search done quicker. With so many rooms, he could be shouting for Piper for hours without finding him. He took a quick run through all of the upstairs rooms, keeping his eyes peeled but finding no trace of his missing lover.

The basement level was more promising. The dust had been disturbed, and there were rats scurrying away from him as soon as he approached. “Piper! Hartley, are you here? Piper!” Barry listened, and thought he heard a shuffling sound and a groan. He followed the sound, and his heart plummeted.

Piper was collapsed on the floor in front of a table full of papers and sonic gear. A nearby piano had even more papers on it, including FBI files on the Rogues. Piper was wearing a tattered costume. Initially the dark fabric obscured just how blood soaked it was, but when Barry ran to his side he could see the hole through Piper's shoulder.

“Piper...” Barry carefully picked him up, trying to jostle the wound as little as possible. Piper was breathing, but it was uneven and labored. “Can you hear me? Hartley, please, hang on. I'm going to get you help. Just hang on.”

* * *

It was good to have the connections he did. Considering Piper's precarious status as a reformed crook suspected of wrongdoing, Barry didn't want to take him to a hospital unless it was absolutely necessary to save his life. He didn't want Piper to have to spend his recovery in a jail cell while they worked through red tape (he knew in his heart that Piper was innocent of any wrongdoing, but it would take more than Barry vouching for him to get his name cleared). So instead Barry brought him back to Wally's and had some friends from the League take a look at him.

A blood transfusion and some shared speed-healing later, Piper was sleeping in a healthy, restful manner while Barry, fatigued from the day's events, sat watch by his bedside.

Wally stopped in a couple of times to check on him, and Linda brought him a few mugs of tea, eventually returning to remove the cold ones. They didn't say much to him, but if he strained his hearing he could just make out their hushed conversations in the living room. The kids were sleeping over Roy and Lian Harper's, which made things quieter if not exactly easier.

Barry was starting to nod off when he thought he heard a soft whining noise. His eyes snapped open and he fixed his attention on the bed.

Piper's eyelids fluttered a few times, and he made another quiet groan. Softly, reverently, as though he might shatter apart under his hands, Barry carefully touched Piper's cheek. “H-hey there. Are you waking up?”

“Barry?” It looked like it took him a few seconds to get his eyes to focus. “How...you're back? Or did I die?”

“You came close.” Barry sat down on the mattress beside him and went to brush back Piper's hair, frowning at the sad effect of basically hitting his hand against the short, bristly strands. “You almost bled out in your parents' basement. If I'd taken any longer finding you...”

“You're...you're really back-ow.” He'd tried to sit up. Barry gently lowered him back to the bed. Thankfully, the mattress was just large enough that he could lie down beside Piper and still fit.

“Careful, Piper. You're not going to die, but you've still got a couple days of bed rest ahead of you. How are you feeling?”

“Weak. Achy. You don't look right.” Piper's eyes closed in a tight grimace. When he opened them again he brought his hand to Barry's face and traced over his cheekbones. “You look just like how I remember you...shouldn't you be older?”

“Speed Force.”

“Oh. I guess that's enough of an explanation. None of your family members are the right damn ages. Oh, have you...met all of your family?”

“Yeah. Bart's back too, by the way. I don't think that's really hit the news yet, so you might not have heard. Piper, if you need to rest some more, we can talk about this later.” It looked like he was struggling to keep his eyes open. Barry certainly was. It had been an exhausting day, in just about every way possible.

“I still feel like I've died. You're here, and no one's trying to send me back to Iron Heights, or shoot me, or torture my powers out of me. Where's Wally? Does he still think I killed Bart, because I swear, I was trying to help him. I tried, I really did, but I couldn't work _with_ him, and I wasn't close enough to save him. I c-couldn't...”

“Hartley, ssh. We can talk about this later.” Barry pulled Piper into his arms and felt him immediately slacken, the tension he'd been carrying loosening instantly. Piper rested his head on Barry's chest, no doubt listening to his heartbeat. The low, regular sound always soothed him when he got anxious. “I could at least use a nap, and I don't think you've slept enough yet either. You're on bed rest. Dr. Mid-Nite's orders.”

Piper was still for all of five minutes, which was not long enough for Barry to drift off. Tired though he was, it was like he could hear Piper's thoughts running nervous circles in his mind. He'd tensed up again too, which couldn't be good for his healing injury. “Hart...”

“Your wife is alive, you know. We should probably talk about that.”

Barry swallowed around a suddenly dry, constricted throat. He tried to say something, but he still didn't have words.

Piper started to pull away, slowly, haltingly, with lots of wincing every time he tugged too much at his shoulder. “Stupid of me,” he muttered. “I shouldn't even have...we were only together a year. Not even.”

“Hey, Piper, that's not...look, it was a really important year for me.”

Piper curled in on himself facing the wall. “Uh huh. It's okay, Barry. I appreciate you saving me, really. But you've been given a second shot at life. You should spend it with her. I know Iris can make you happy. I'm not sure I can.”

“You're forgetting something, Piper.” Barry leaned closer and hesitantly rested a hand on Piper's hip. He wasn't pushed away, which he found encouraging. “Iris and I spent some time together in the future-”

“Where you resumed your happy marriage and had twins and eventually a grandson, yes, I know. Believe me, it's been in my thoughts often enough.”

“Right, well...look, our marriage wasn't exactly as solid as it used to be.”

“Do you still love her?”

“Yes, but...she...she wasn't exactly supportive about me being bisexual. And it's different in the future, you'll be pleased to know. There was no reason at all to be in the closet. But she seemed to think that I was going to cheat on her, or that I didn't find her sexually attractive anymore, or something like that. We were having problems. If I hadn't been called back to fight the Anti-Monitor, I'm not sure we would have stayed married. As is, we were seeing a counselor.”

“That's...a pretty different story from what Iris has told everyone.”

“Her reputation is very important to her. From what I've gathered, she finds the prospect of having married a gay man incredibly embarrassing.”

Piper finally turned over and faced Barry. “If she was willing to see a counselor with you then that means she wanted to work on your problems and fix them. Look, I still love you and all I've wanted since you died was for you to come back, but I'm not remotely who I was when you left anymore. I'm-I wouldn't be good for you, at all. And Iris is still that beautiful, amazing woman she's always been, and she loves you and the two of you are good together. You shouldn't...I'm grateful that you saved my life, but I can't believe for a second that you'd pick me over her. We were only together a year that I've clearly romanticized far too much.” He tried and failed to blink back tears. “You really should just leave.”

“You don't get it at all, do you?” Barry swiped his thumb under Piper's eye, wiping away a tear. He flinched, but didn't pull away. Barry leaned closer so that their heads were sharing a pillow, faces close together. “I'm not leaving you, Piper. I have waited too damn long to find you again.”

“What about Iris? I know how much you love her. Counseling or not...you'd be happier with her.”

“Let's just sleep on it for now, okay Piper? I don't think these are decisions that need to be made while one of us is sleep deprived and the other one is recovering from a nearly fatal injury.”

Piper looked like he wanted to argue more, but he could also barely keep his eyes open. Having the conversation was taking a lot out of him. Barry kissed his temple, and watched until the rise and fall of his chest evened into a regular rhythm. Even once Piper was asleep again, he remained awake a bit longer, watching Piper sleep and feeling grateful that he'd found him, that they were together again.

Their problems could wait for morning. It wasn't exactly a comforting thought, but then, Barry wasn't feeling quite as conflicted about the whole mess as he'd been before tracking Piper down. Barry knew what he wanted. It was just a matter of getting everyone else on the same page.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me, dancing around the conflict I've slowly been building to all fic. In case you can't tell, Iris West-Allen intimidates the hell out of me ( the comic book version - I think she's rather rad on the show but I have a very hard time getting her Pre-Boot comic version down). But I've gotta actually use her soon, so we'll see how the next chapter goes...
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated!


	13. Chapter 13

Piper had the distinct feeling he was being watched. He rolled onto his side and tried to fall back asleep, but then his super-hearing confirmed what the skin-crawling sensation had suspected. He could hear a heartbeat and open-mouthed breathing.

He rolled onto his other side and opened his eyes, thinking it might be one of his “nurses” checking on him, but no, though familiar, those gold-green eyes were not a pair he'd seen before. Carefully, mindful not to put pressure on his shoulder, Piper sat up in bed and smiled at the child standing by his bedside. “Hello. You must be Irey.”

The little girl had Wally's flaming red hair and a faint smattering of freckles over her nose, but there were hints of Linda's distinctive beauty in the structure of her face and the shape of her eyes, which widened comically at being addressed. She took a cautious step back from the bed and eyed Piper with the kind of blatant curiosity one could only get away with when under the age of ten. She was wearing a cartoonish Star Wars t-shirt, which made Piper think of James. He would have approved.

“And you're Piper,” Irey said with a nod. “Which makes you my godfather. How long are you planning on sleeping for?”

“I'm not really sure. I've never had this particular battle wound before, so I'm not sure how long it's going to take to fully heal.”

“Uncle Barry _and_ Daddy gave you some Speed Force to heal it up. Plus Dr. Mid-Nite was over a couple of times, and he's really good with superhero boo-boos. Can you be ready soon? Jai's godfather plays with him all the time. At the very least, we should go get ice-cream.” There was a slight note of accusation in her tone. 

“I'd like that. We have a lot of catching up to do," Piper said, with a genuine desire to assuage her hurt feelings. It hadn't been his intention to neglect his godfatherly duties. When the twins had been born, he'd been all about that role. "The last time I saw you, you were still a baby, you know. I had to hold your head up because you couldn't do it yourself yet.”

“Really? So me and Jai must have been teeny tiny. That's why I don't remember you.” Irey frowned. “The Speed Force messed around with our ages. I was even bigger than this for a little bit, but then we got younger again. I kinda wanna stay this age for awhile if I can get away with it though. I didn't like being twelve.” Her face scrunched up in dislike, and Piper had to laugh.

“I didn't like being twelve either. If I could have, I probably would have fast-forwarded past middle school entirely. And high school, come to think of it.”

“Yeah, being eight is cool. I can watch cartoons with my dad and eat junk food and not have to worry about being fat or wearing the right clothes and stuff. And no one's telling me to be ladylike yet. Adults expect a lot more when you're twelve. Being a little kid is much better.”

Piper frowned. “Irey, has your mom talked to you about the word feminism yet?” Irey shook her head. “Was she one of the people telling you to be ladylike?”

“Nope. Mom's okay with me eating ice-cream and junk food no matter what age I am, just not for dinner. And she always has a meltdown when I use the word fat, no matter how old I am. But, you know, not everyone's like my mom. She thinks it's hard to be twelve too, and she said that I should just stay this way as long as I can. She says that she doesn't want the Speed Force to make me grow up too quickly. I already missed a lot because of the age jumps. Like...like I secretly still watch Sesame Street sometimes. I know I'm too old for it and that it's a baby show and I'm not a baby, but if Jai's not around I put it on. I watch all the PBS kiddie shows if no one's around to make fun of me for it.”

“I used to have a friend who watched cartoons even when he was an adult,” Piper said. “He was my age, and he knew more about animation than any child I've ever met. He once gave me a rundown of every single My Little Pony. Their names, their abilities, their personalities, how they were different in different versions of the cartoon. If you really like something, I don't think you should be embarrassed about it.”

“But what do I do when Jai and Lian start picking on me for liking baby stuff?” Irey's attention was riveted to Piper. Clearly, this was a big problem for her. Fortunately, Piper had some experience with bullying and counseling kids over it. 

“Ask them questions about why they're making fun of you." That struck him as the best strategy for dealing with family and close friends. "The quickest way to make a bully feel silly about what they're doing is to make them think about it. What's wrong with liking Sesame Street? Absolutely nothing. There's good music, clever writing, and lots of great puppets. Ask them why they don't like it. If it's just because they think it's baby stuff, then they're missing out. They should give it a chance.”

Irey visibly brightened at that. “Thanks, Piper! I'm so excited Daddy found you. You're going to be a really good godfather, aren't you? Because, because I was kind of fibbing a little before. Uncle Dick is Jai's godfather and when he's here he's really nice and fun to play with. But he's not actually around very much. He's always busy with the scary Bats in Gotham.”

“He's a nice guy, but he breaks plans a lot,” Piper said with a nod, thinking back on his own experiences with Nightwing. “I don't think it's his fault. The Bats have a lot more to deal with than other heroes, and we know how busy the speedsters get.”

“Yeah. And the Bats don't even have powers. They just have to be really smart all the time. Like Lian's daddy. He doesn't have powers, but I don't think he's as smart as the Bats. But he still has to be really smart because when you don't have superpowers it's easy to get killed on accident. Is that what happened to you? Is that why you were gone?”

“I...um. It's a long story, Irey. But no, I wasn't killed.”

“Oh, good. I know it happens if you have powers too, like with Uncle Barry, but I think it must be scarier to fight crime if you have no powers. That's why Mom and Dad don't want Jai to fight crime anymore, because all of our powers got sucked into me and now he doesn't have any anymore. Uncle Piper, do you have superpowers?”

“As it turns out, yes." And wasn't that a terrifying thing to grapple with. "I didn't realize that's what they were until a few months ago though. I'm still learning how to use them.” Piper had just found out that his hypnotism was a meta-ability with ties to the Anti-Life Equation. He'd never had much desire to manipulate people, so he'd never unlocked the full extent of his abilities. It was something he'd have to explore, albeit carefully.

Irey visibly brightened upon learning that her godfather had superpowers. She rushed forward and gave him a hug. “I'm so glad you've got powers! Now get better quickly so we can go get ice-cream, and when you fight crime don't get dead. I think you're going to be an even better godfather than Jai's, and I want to keep you. I gotta go now, though. Mom didn't want me to come in here and bug you because you're supposed to be sleeping. Good night, Uncle Piper.” She kissed his cheek, and then disappeared in a burst of superspeed before he could say anything.

Piper relaxed against the pillows, a smile on his face.

* * *

 “You know dude, you probably shouldn't poke that.”

“I see you still haven't learned how to knock.” Piper hurriedly pulled his shirt back on and tried to get a grip on his racing heart. He'd been standing in front of the full length mirror in the Wests' guest bedroom, his for-all-intents-and-purposes sick room, to check on his shoulder. The wound looked fine. Piper didn't know if the speedsters had been continuously hitting him with speed-healing, or if that one burst when he was unconscious was just working overtime, but he was pretty much recovered after two days of bed rest. What had been a gaping hole _through_ his shoulder now looked like a long-faded scar.

He should have had Wally do that every time he'd gotten injured.

Wally was leaning against the doorway, posture relaxed and habitual grin in place. But Piper knew him well enough to tell that he was still nervous, as Piper was himself. He turned to face his estranged best friend, and tried to bite back his nerves.

“How're you feeling, Hartley? You look like you're doing a lot better.”

“I feel better,” Piper said. “Better than I have in a long time, actually.”

“You look it. Like...when Barry carried you in here I almost didn't recognize you. I, uh...I'm really sorry for letting things go for so long. We were really slammed with the usual superhero stuff, but like, that _is_ the norm for Justice Leaguers, so it's not really an excuse. I should have tracked you and James down. I'm so, so sorry about that.” Wally was clearly babbling. Piper figured he was best just letting Wally get everything off his chest, and once he rambled to silence he'd deal with the raw hurt and guilt being expressed. He tried to be patient, though it was tempting to jump in and interrupt him. “I don't even know what came over me. Like, I didn't even feel like me when I was yelling at you guys. I _know_ you'd never hurt Bart. I don't know why I forgot that. Linda keeps saying that I was just desperate to shift the blame, because I felt guilty and that's true, but it's not an excuse for what I did. James might still be alive if I hadn't...”

“Wally, stop.” Piper walked over to him and gently touched his arm. “If anyone's to blame for James' death, it's me. Well, actually it's Desaad, but he killed James to hurt me.”

“Desaad? The dude in the dress that works with Darkseid?” Wally blinked at him in confusion. “What does he have to do with anything?”

“A lot, actually. From the sounds of it, I'm starting to think he manipulated you as well. You really weren't acting like yourself when James and I bumped into you while we were on the run. That was likely his doing.”

Piper gave him the rundown, explaining about how Desaad had orchestrated a year of tragedy and loss for Piper so that he could break his spirit and then use his connection to the Anti-Life Equation for his own ends. He left out the part where his broken spirit had resulted in him letting loose with his powers in an act of destruction that had killed Desaad and almost killed Piper himself. Somehow, he'd managed to teleport himself back to Earth at the end of it, and he'd been avoiding dealing with the ramifications of Desaad's revelation since then.

“Don't feel too badly, Wally. Darkseid's right hand man was keeping me hidden and in a continual state of duress. You couldn't have found me again unless he'd wanted you to.”

“That's...wow. So it sounds like you've got some pretty bitching superpowers then.”

Piper couldn't help but laugh. “They're scaring the ever-loving shit out of me, so I don't think I'll be attempting to use them anytime soon, but yeah...now you Flashes aren't the only ones capable of inter-dimensional travel.”

“Well, as you're about as precise with the teleporting as we are with our inter-dimensional travel, you're probably best off not messing with that stuff. Seriously, teleporting and time travel only make things worse, never better. But um...you're not mad at me, right?”

“Of course not. And...you don't still hate me? That really was Desaad's manipulation?” Piper hated how small his voice had gotten.

“Oh my God, Piper. If you ever think I actually hate you I'm going to poke you in your recovering stab wound.”

“It's mostly recovered, so I don't know how effective a method of attack that will be.”

“Well then just accept that you're practically family to me so I don't have to come up with something else. I hate trying to be creative. That's your forte, what with being the musical genius and all.”

“I'm not a-”

“Poking you in the shoulder would still have some effect now, right?”

When Linda and Barry walked into the room it was to find their respective redheads having a slap fight. Linda rolled her eyes. “Looks like everything's back to normal here.”

“You shouldn't be picking on me, I'm an invalid!”

“You look plenty recovered to me,” Wally said. He gave Piper's shoulder one more gentle poke and then zipped to his wife's side. “We're totally good. Turns out neither of us was even mad at the other.”

“Didn't I tell you?” Linda grinned at him. “I knew you two couldn't stay estranged for that long once you were actually talking. You both just make everything worse than it is when you're left alone.”

“True enough,” Piper said. He was sitting slumped over in front of the bed, feeling a bit silly and childish but also happier than he'd been in a long time. Wally definitely brought that lighter side out of him, and it was such an unspeakable relief to know that they were still friends.

He very pointedly kept his eyes anywhere but on Barry.

“Speaking of actually talking...” Linda grabbed Wally's arm and started pulling him towards the doorway. “We should give them a few minutes, hon.”

“Right, right. But Piper, when you're up to it me and Irey want to take you out for ice-cream. She's been very insistent about it.”

“Sounds good. I'm always up for ice-cream.” Piper watched them go, wishing they wouldn't, and as soon as the door closed behind his friends the warm, bubbly feeling he'd had in their presence was replaced by the more familiar crushing doubt and anxiety.

Barry sat down on the floor beside him. Piper still avoided his eyes, but noticed immediately that he wasn't wearing his wedding ring.

Something like hope made a desperate bid for acknowledgment from his damaged psyche. Piper squashed that with a heavy dose of reality before it could bloom enough to be painful later. Despite appearances, Barry wouldn't choose him. No one would choose him over Iris, and even if he did, he'd only regret it later on. Piper had nothing to give Barry anymore, and he wouldn't let Barry throw away a chance at real happiness. He wouldn't be that selfish.

But god, was this going to suck. He'd been waiting so long for Barry to come back. Having to let him go on purpose, just because it was the right thing to do and not something he remotely wanted to do, was comparable to the torture Desaad had put him through.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around," Barry said, rather unnecessarily as Piper had actually found it easier not to be around the subject of much emotional turmoil while trying to recover his health. "I've been busy putting my civilian life in order. The Justice League was all set to take me back, but the Central City PD has been much more of a hassle. A lot of my old coworkers are still there though, and they're working on helping me get my job back."

"Ah. So back into the closet then?"

Barry scowled. He looked much more annoyed at the prospect than Piper would have expected, considering how enthusiastic he'd been about being closeted back when they'd been together. Or, rather, how terrified he'd been of doing otherwise.

"I'm looking into it," Barry said. "I noticed there's been a lot of progress on LGBT rights since I've been dead, but I think I can still be fired over my sexual orientation. And, well...not all of the coworkers who are still around would be allies. I do think there's a risk if I don't have the protection of a solid anti-discrimination policy."

Piper found himself actually looking at Barry and thinking about more than just how painful it was to be in the man's presence again. "You...don't want to be in the closet anymore?"

"I was out in the future." He shrugged. "It was more comfortable, honestly. I've grown a lot since the last time we spoke."

"Ah. I've only gotten weaker and weirder, I'm afraid."

"I don't blame you for feeling shaky right now. From what I've gathered, you've had a rough few years...is everything okay?"

Piper had gone still when his super hearing picked up a conversation from the front hall. "Your wife is here. She's looking for you."

"My...ah. Yeah, that's another aspect of my civilian life I'm having a hard time getting settled."

Piper smirked. "You've been hiding from her, haven't you?" He remembered how well Barry dealt with emotional conflict. He ran headfirst into battle without a second thought, but when feelings were involved...

Barry tapped his hand against is knee, an impatient look on his face. "She won't listen to me. She's just fixing on the parts of what I'm saying that she wants to hear and ignoring everything else. I swear, I'm not trying to jerk her around this time. She just...she's just so stubborn."

"Ah huh." Piper climbed to his feet and started walking towards the door, figuring they might as well get this over with. He could hear Wally floundering downstairs, feebly trying to chase his aunt away. It was sweet of him, but the poor boy deserved a rescue. Really, nothing about this mess was his fault and it wasn't fair to involve him and Linda.

Then suddenly Barry was at his side, too fast for Piper to even register the movement until he had a firm hand under his elbow to support his weight. Barry looked like he was fighting back panic, widened eyes fixed on Piper, watching for any sign of weakness. The misplaced concern was endearing, and throwing the ice facade Piper was struggling to maintain. "Barry, I'm okay."

"Okay. Sorry. You almost died in my arms two days ago, you know." He looked stricken.

He knew better, but Piper still took his hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. "I'm still here. Don't worry, Flash. You saved me. It's kinda your thing."

Barry squeezed his hand back, tightly, refusing to let go of the one bit of physical contact Piper had initiated. "If I'd been any slower finding you-"

"You weren't. Besides, I'd have managed somehow. I've survived a lot of scrapes on my own. Granted, maybe not as gracefully as you speedsters, but we can't all be de-aged to our prime."

Barry's cheeks tinged a faint pink. "Please tell me you're not actually upset about that. I mean yes, you were the younger, prettier one last time-"

"Oh please. I was never prettier than you."

"Yes you were! Piper, you were literally hypnotic.  _Literally_."

"That was meta powers, not my appearance."

Barry brushed his thumb over Piper's thin cheek. "I'm sure you think your grey hairs and new scars are a big deal, but you really shouldn't. I think you're as breathtaking as you ever were. Just in a more distinguished way."

"Distinguished? That's a blatant euphemism for old, Barry. I'm thirty five." Piper laughed. "It has been a rough thirty five years though, I'll give you that."

"Tell me you aren't overthinking me being younger than you now."

Piper sighed, because if he weren't caught up on other things it would be bothering the shit out of him. However, he had plenty of other insecurities and his shaky mental health was taking priority over the more frivolous preoccupation with his appearance. "You are stupidly pretty, Barry. But there are other problems that even you and your stubbornness must concede are valid. The wife downstairs putting your nephew in a really uncomfortable place-"

"I want to be with you, Hartley. I'll find  away to say it so that even you and Iris get it."

"It's been over a decade. I'm not the same man I was when I was twenty three."

"Well thank God, because mentally I'm much older than I look. Probably close to you in age, honestly. I'd love a chance to get to know the man you've become. Am I starting to wear you down yet?"

He honestly was. Piper tried to pull away, but Barry wouldn't let go of his hand. "Barry, this is just...it's not a good idea. I'm going to ruin your second chance. I'm a disaster, and I don't want to drag you into that."

"What if I helped you escape that state of constant disaster? We were doing pretty good last time. Hartley..."

Barry was about to kiss him, and Piper was going to let him. Weak man that he was, Barry had worn him down. It didn't seem  _so_ selfish, not when Barry was that persistent. And he was so tired of being alone.

Then the door slammed open and hit the wall with a bang. Startled, Barry dropped Piper's hand and Piper took that opportunity to put as much space as he could between himself and the temptation of his former lover. 

For a moment Iris looked crestfallen, but she recovered quickly. That polished, detached facade that had served her so well as a hostage, that kept her from ever being mistaken for a damsel in distress despite being a constant target, covered her hurt instantly. "Hartley, I'm very sorry to intrude. It's just, Barry ran out on the middle of a conversation with me about three days ago now and I'd really like to finish it. Can I steal him for five minutes?"

"By all means."

"Hey!" Barry shot Piper a wounded look, then turned towards Iris. "I did not run out in the middle of a conversation. I left an aimless fight. We weren't getting anywhere, and you completely stopped listening to me."

"You were being ridiculous!" Iris yelled. "After all we've been through together, after all we've meant to each other, suddenly you're just done?"

"Suddenly? There's nothing sudden about it, Iris. It's been building for ages."

"We were fine before you retired in the future. And look at us, we've both been de-aged. We can go back to what we were, when we first got married. We've been given a chance to fix everything, but you don't want to put any work into it. I think we had a marriage worth fighting for."

"But our time in the future still happened, Iris. This isn't a reset. I still remember us drifting apart and I know you do too."

Iris shook her head. There was a stubborn set to her jaw that reminded Piper of her husband. He wondered which of them had adopted that particular look from the other. "We can go back to the way things were. Like nothing happened. Our marriage was so good when it was new."

"You're doing it again, Iris! You need to listen to me. And our marriage was far from good. I was hiding from so much back then."

Iris threw her hands in the air and let out a frustrated shout. "Oh, not this again! You still think you're gay, don't you? You! Despite our  _children_. I don't how you got this stupid idea in your head-"

"Actually, um, I can confirm the legitimacy of that claim." Piper's voice was so quiet he was surprised they stopped shouting long enough to listen to him. Iris and Barry seemed to have forgotten he was still in the room. They both turned to stare at him. "I...I may not be in favor of resuming our relationship, but um...Iris, you should respect Barry's orientation. He's bisexual."

Iris rubbed at her eyes. "Bisexual...right. Look, I can't think of a way to say this that isn't going to sound homophobic. I just...I feel like I would have noticed if my husband was gay."

"That's the thing about bisexuals," Piper said. "They're attracted to more than one gender. So the fact that he's slept with both of us and enjoyed it just kind of confirms what he's been saying. That's how being bisexual works."

Iris' expression was hard to read. She was staring at Piper so intently, searching him, something like desperation in her eyes. "When...when he told me about your, well, your relationship, I suppose...I didn't know what to make of it."

"Yeah, I kind of figured that," Piper said. "I wasn't really sure how to act around you either. It seemed best to just keep quiet and keep my distance."

Iris nodded, then rounded on Barry. "So that's it then? I know we had some problems, but I thought we were going to work through them. I didn't think...but if you're just done with me I'll step aside, I suppose. I just thought we meant more to each other than that."

"Iris..." And now Barry looked just as conflicted as Piper knew he would be. He'd figured it would go down like this, because at her heart Iris was a good woman and she was a good partner. If Barry wanted to, they could easily work through their problems and fix their marriage, and then they'd be perfectly happy.

He just had to play this carefully, and keep Barry from noticing how thoroughly his heart was breaking. He'd spend some time patching himself back together in private, and then eventually when he saw Barry and Iris sitting together at West family gatherings the hurt would be mild enough that no one else would even notice.

Except Piper had forgotten how shrewd and observant Iris was. She took one look at Piper, read everything he thought he was hiding, and then sighed. "Okay, you know what? This love triangle doesn't work for me at all. It's infuriatingly insipid, and it's not fair to any of us. What are your thoughts on polyamory?" 

"Polyamory?" Barry's brow wrinkled in confusion. "I'm...not terribly familiar with the concept." Surprising no one.

"It was still a little fringe, even in the thirty first century," Iris said. She turned towards Piper. "I'll explain it to him in a moment, but what about you, Hartley?"

"I'm, um...not bisexual."

"And I'm not attracted to you either, no offense. I was thinking we'd share the cute blond." She tilted her head towards Barry. "I pride myself on being a secure woman. I think I can handle this. And besides, it's not like it's the poor goof's fault he's gotten into this mess. He never cheated on either of us. When he was with you, I was inaccessible due to my perceived death. If he's in love with both of us, poly seems like the fair way to go."

Piper gaped at her. "I can't believe what I'm hearing. I mean yes, it sounds reasonable but...are you sure?"

"Absolutely. That is, if you and Barry are okay with it."

Barry seemed to have gotten the gist of what Iris was suggesting. "Wait...so I'd be in a relationship with both of you. And that'd be okay?"

"That...actually, um, resolves my qualms about me not being stable right now," Piper said thoughtfully. "I, I think I'm, that is..."

"Understandably traumatized from three continuous years of loss and hardship," Iris finished. "And you were worried about being a drain on a romantic partner. That's very insightful of you, Piper. But with the poly arrangement I'm envisioning Barry would be able to lean on me for emotional support while he's helping you. I think it's a win for all of us."

"So wait, I'd have a wife and a boyfriend." Barry looked confused. "That's exactly what I want. This feels like a trap, somehow. Is it really okay?"

Piper looked between the two of them and shrugged. "I guess so."

"Excellent." Iris turned her attention to Barry again. "Now Barry, I'm not saying this to be unfair to Hartley in any way, but I think you ought to keep your relationship with him quiet for now. At least, outside our immediate circle. He's still got some legal troubles that need to be cleared up, and besides that, Central's workplace discrimination policy could use some work."

Barry sighed. "I figured that was going to be the case. Damn. I didn't want to have to pretend to be heterosexual again. What? Piper, why are you looking at me like that?"

"It's just...really nice to hear and not what I expected?" Piper could feel the stupid smile on his face. "Just so you know, I  _hate_ dating closeted guys. I made a pretty big exception for you."

Iris laughed. "He has a way of making you compromise on things you never expected yourself to compromise on, huh?"

Barry looked between the two of them, some uneasiness showing. "I have a feeling I might regret this."

"Oh sweetheart, don't worry. We'll try not to gang up on you too badly," Iris promised. Piper was tempted to add that he was too intimidated by Iris to seek her out as a co-conspirator, but as he'd be only half-joking he kept it to himself. "Well, I'm sure I can make myself scarce. You two probably have a lot you need to talk over. But if you wouldn't mind coming by later tonight, I'd appreciate it. I missed you too, you know."

"I'll come by in a little while, and we'll talk," Barry promised. Iris leaned up for a quick kiss, then left.

Piper could hear her teasing Wally once she got downstairs. She really did sound remarkably cheerful. Their conversation must have actually happened. He hadn't imagined it.

Then Barry pulled Piper into his arms for a long overdue kiss, and he knew he wasn't deluding himself. Things were okay. Better than okay, even.

Piper felt a weight he'd been carrying since the Crisis leave him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I'm not sure how this is going to go. I've never been in a poly relationship before and don't think it sounds like my thing at all, but, well, it seems to work here. So apologies in advance for all the fuck ups I'll eventually make representing the poly trio (I knew Iris was going to complicate things for me!)
> 
> Also, I think this story is starting to wind down. I've only got a few other things I want to work in before I leave everyone to their Flashpoint-free lives. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and for all the lovely encouraging feedback <3


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